Bridget Jones is dating a younger man. She’s not the only one
By Nell Geraets
Since 2001, Bridget Jones has been caught in a love triangle between playboy Daniel Cleaver and the reserved Mark Darcy. Now, 23 years and two kids later – spoiler – Darcy is dead and Cleaver is as smarmy as ever.
Luckily, it doesn’t take long for two new men to take their place – one of whom is more than 20 years Jones’ junior.
Bridget Jones has found herself a younger man. She isn’t the only one.Credit: Compiled by Aresna Villanueva.
Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy is the fourth instalment in the film franchise based on Helen Fielding’s 1996 bestselling novel, Bridget Jones’ Diary, and sees Jones (Renée Zellweger) enjoy a fling with 29-year-old Roxster (Leo Woodall).
But Jones isn’t the only one courting a younger man.
Last year, Anne Hathaway was swept off her feet by a 20-something musician in The Idea of You, and Nicole Kidman fell for her daughter’s young celebrity boss in A Family Affair (more recently, Kidman starred in age-gap story Babygirl, though it has a darker edge).
These romances aren’t new to cinema – think The Graduate (1967) and How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998) – but the recent influx is undeniable, and likely isn’t random.
According to research by Bumble, 63 per cent of Australians have said age isn’t a defining factor when dating. Fifty-nine per cent of women say they’re now more open to dating someone younger than them, with a further 39 per cent saying they’ve become less judgemental about age gaps.
Dani Iye, a 34-year-old aesthetic clinician from Sydney, is one of them. She met her partner, 26-year-old Logan Donnellan, through friends two years ago.
“We were friends for a year before dating. Because we knew each other so well, the age gap was barely a thought.”
However, Iye says she never would have considered dating younger a few years ago. But after seeing several friends date people their own age who failed to give them the love they craved, she realised age doesn’t need to be a deciding factor.
Dani Iye (left) and Logan Donnellan (right) are one of a rising number of age-gap couples.
“People are focusing more on compatibility, emotional connection, and shared values now rather than societal expectations.”
Dating a younger man has brought more flexibility and open-mindedness to Iye’s love life, she says. Now, at least five of her friends are also in relationships with people between six and 10 years older or younger than them.
Why are age-gap romances becoming more common?
While there’s no set definition, Dr Simone Buzwell, a senior lecturer in psychology at Swinburne specialising in sexuality, says she considers a gap of seven or more years to constitute an age-gap romance.
“There have always been age-gap relationships,” she says. “But as Mad About the Boy highlights, it’s become more visible where the woman is older than the male partner. Women are now feeling more comfortable with their sexuality. They’re also more financially able, so that changes some of the power dynamics in relationships.”
Like Jones in Mad About the Boy, already having children could also remove the family-building pressure some women feel when dating. Nicole Colantoni, eHarmony’s relationship expert, says this allows them to pursue relationships based purely on compatibility and attraction.
“Likewise, more men are open to dating older women, as evolving gender roles and greater equality have shifted relationships away from financial dependency toward genuine connection,” she says.
More couples are recognising that age alone isn’t what determines relationship success, Colantoni says. In fact, an age gap may even offer some people room to grow or a different perspective on life.
“An older partner may offer wisdom, emotional maturity and stability, while a younger partner may bring fresh energy, curiosity, and a greater openness to spontaneity and adventure. Age doesn’t always determine readiness to settle down, which is why an age-gap relationship can sometimes be a better fit.”
Is there still stigma?
As women gained more financial independence, the search for an older, more established partner became less necessary, Colantoni says, leaving room for stigma to develop around age-gap relationships, especially those involving older men and younger women.
Stigma is gradually diminishing, but some couples may still notice a degree of judgement, says relationship expert Samantha Jayne.
“People may assume the older person is going to control the younger person, or the younger person may be considered a ‘gold-digger’. The intentions are questioned.”
Research indicating that relationships with significant age gaps tend to deteriorate faster over time may also contribute to ongoing stigma and uncertainty, Jayne adds.
Iye says she hasn’t noticed much judgement since beginning her relationship. However, a fear of judgement can sometimes emerge. “The only time there’s been obstacles, it has been in my own head. Like attending large functions with old friends where the only ‘issue’ was that a late-’90s, almost 2000s, kid [Donnellan] doesn’t know how to dance to R&B.”
Things to consider
Buzwell says there are logistical factors to consider. For instance, a younger man may want children, but his older partner could have already gone through menopause.
“The older partner may have significantly more financial assets than the other since they’ve been working for longer,” Buzwell says. “Or if one person is retired and the other’s working, that could impact how the relationship plays out.”
Then there are the realities of ageing. Not only do couples need to consider the high likelihood that one partner could die much earlier than the other, they must also consider disability and general health deterioration.
“The younger person may have to become a carer earlier than anticipated. Think about how that could impact your life and what you can do together in the future.”
However, any relationship requires similar considerations, Buzwell notes. The main difference is that age-gap couples may need to reckon with them sooner.
“The most important thing in dating is that you share core values and goals,” she says. “That’s irrespective of age.”
Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy will hit cinemas on February 13.
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