Bravo to Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez. It was vulgar but they did their wedding right

The last thing I did before running out the door for my second wedding was stick on the veil from my first. From when I was half my age, 24, not 48. From when I was saying “I do” in a country church instead of “I’m all in, but fingers crossed” in a city town hall.

Of course, I’d debated the appropriateness and chicness of a mum of three sporting a foofy tulle thing. And whether it was a bad look to front up to my new husband in something the first one had swept off my face at the altar.

Newlyweds Lauren Sanchez Bezos and Jeff Bezos celebrated their wedding across three days with 200 guests.Credit: AP

But my second husband was a wedding virgin, and I was hell-bent on giving him the Full McCoy experience – not some toned-down affair because his missus was a re-tread. It was captain’s choice. Had he wanted roving troubadours and clog dancing, it would’ve been a hard yes.

What he decided on was the bride in white (for renewal, in case you ask – a fabulous Carla Zampatti), and to dance to Powderfinger’s Burn Your Name.

Done! I only felt a tiny bit mutton dressed as lamb, and also figured this would be the last time I’d be a bride, so I could push the boat out. And at my age, it felt like one of the few remaining big life festivities I’d get – funeral aside. So why not rock it?

Which is why I’ve abstained this week from dissing Lauren Sanchez and Jeff Bezos’ ridiculous Venice wedding. Putting aside that he’s one of the richest men in the world yet barely pays tax, why shouldn’t someone throw an ultra-decadent party for their second marriage? Who says second weddings have to be quietly dignified affairs?

The way people have carried on (Charlize Theron: “They suck”), you’d think Bezos and Sanchez had cancelled Christmas.

Yes, it was wildly extravagant: Dolce & Gabbana couture, boats, entire five-star hotels commandeered. Three days of celebrations, not including Sanchez’s hen’s-do in Paris or the foam party held on Bezos’s yacht moored off the coast of Croatia.

Yes, the guest list was like a Sims game gone rogue, with Kardashian popcorn and underpant purveyors mingling with Queen Rania of Jordan and Legolas.

And I say – bravo! Mostly for the gift that was the sight of Bill Gates in pyjamas, looking like he’d wandered off from an assisted living facility, but also for refusing to pander to the masses who get very virtuous when rich people throw a party.

There’s been much banging on about how the money could have gone to worthier causes. Fair. But nobody’s suggesting the rest of us skip the bridal registry and buy mosquito nets for Malawi instead. No one critiques Bec and Travis for blowing $25,000 on a marquee, oysters and a DJ who peaked in 2003.

Interestingly, Newsweek crunched the numbers and claimed the wedding (rumoured to have cost between $50 to $100 million) was “relatively cheap” – for Bezos. The Amazon founder spent about 0.0230 per cent of his estimated $244 billion net worth, which works out to the average American spending less than $250 on their big day.

I wonder how much of the criticism is less about waste and more about discomfort with people reclaiming joy at a certain age. Sanchez, 54, gets roasted for looking hyper-groomed and ultra-glam, like she’s not supposed to be sexy, centre stage and celebrated unless she’s 25 and on the arm of Leo DiCaprio.

Yeah, it was over the top. It was peak camp. But its vulgarity had an honesty to it. They didn’t do the “intimate ceremony with close family” thing celebrities usually pull when they want to seem relatable.

Instead, Bezos and Sanchez went full cartoon villain with their shamelessly extravagant celebration. If anything, it was refreshing! And the rest of us got entertainment value out of watching the multi-day hostage situation guests found themselves in, which is more than most weddings provide.

Look, if you’ve been married, you know how miraculous it is to find someone once who makes you laugh and knows where your rosacea cream is. To do it twice? That’s worth celebrating – with a big ass foam cannon if there’s one handy.

Honestly, if I had Jeff Bezos’ money, I’d have done the same. Only with fewer tech bros trying to look cool in white jeans.

Kate Halfpenny is the founder of Bad Mother Media. Her new book, Boogie Wonderland, is published by Affirm Press. Subscribers can buy a copy from Booktopia for the discounted price of $24.26 plus postage with the code WONDERLAND10. This offer is available until August 31.

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