Better to look odd than old? The Friends reunion, in a nutshell

To watch the Friends reunion on Thursday was, for us geriatric millennials and spritely Gen Xers, an exercise in confronting our own mortality. There they were, some of popular culture’s most prolific icons, now all in their 50s, their bodies and faces, altered by the passing of time – though some were more altered than others. And the two who appeared most different - Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox - are also the ones who have enjoyed the greatest success after the show finished. Is it a co-incidence that the thinnest cast members with the fullest cheeks are the most high-profile? What would happen if these women let themselves look old? Would they be vilified?

“Hollywood has always liked beautiful people, regardless of gender,” says Dr Lauren Rosewarne, an associate professor at Melbourne University. But, she notes, that it’s usually women who are judged for procedures and called “different” or vain if what they've had done appears too obvious.

David Schwimmer as Ross Geller, Jennifer Aniston as Rachel Green, Courteney Cox as Monica Geller, Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing, Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe Buffay, Matt LeBlanc as Joey Tribbiani.Credit: Warner Bros.

Although, Matthew Perry still copped scathing commentary from tabloids and social media alike about his appearance. It didn’t seem to matter that the actor, who has battled panic attacks and addiction, and who appeared pensive throughout the special, might be making a Herculean effort just to turn up. Twitter demanded to know what happened to him, because for some, his face was smoother, for others, it was older, while still other headlines asked if his slight slurring of one or two words meant that his widely publicised battle with sobriety was over. A spokesperson for Perry denied this, explaining that the 51 year-old actor had undergone a dental procedure.

Still, what Perry suffered is not the same as what Aniston and Cox have endured over the last three decades. The year before she landed Friends, for example, Jennifer Aniston was told to lose 30 pounds, (15 kilograms) by her agent if she “wanted to make it in Hollywood”.

There’s a reason for this, according to Dr Rosewarne. “Women are looked at and judged to degrees that men aren’t,” she says. “If women ‘let themselves go’ they don’t get work in Hollywood whereas men are able to have longer careers regardless of appearance.”

Clockwise from top left: Matthew Perry, Matt LeBlanc, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow, Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox.Credit: Warner Bros

But after the verbal bashing Perry endured, perhaps that unrelenting demand for women to look eternally hot is stretching around to men. Well, not all men.

Matt LeBlanc’s hair went grey years ago, and the actor, who turns 54 next month, wore it au naturale to the reunion. His body, like his male co-star’s bodies, has embraced middle age, filling out into a proper “Dad Bod” just like 84 per cent of Australian men between 54 and 65.

But, the women were a slightly different story. Lisa Kudrow, who is the oldest of the Friends at 57, looked younger than her years, though that might be down to lifestyle. Still, her hair remains blonde, her body, svelte.

That Jennifer Aniston, 52, would be anything other than toned is no surprise, considering her well-publicised devotion to clean, low-carb eating and in particular, yoga. Her face seemed to have more collagen in it than when she appeared on the show; her lips, plumper, her hair, as golden as it was when she left the set in 2004. Similarly, Courteney Cox, 56, who in 2017, admitted to “overdoing” facial procedures in New Beauty magazine, appeared to have a face fuller than it was in the 90s, with thicker lips and a radiant glow not normally seen outside of an Instagram filter.

Dr Rosewarne continues, “Very few women in Hollywood are allowed to age naturally. Instead, there is an expectation that they defy nature and defy the ageing process and retain the appearance of their youth. A healthy diet and strict exercise regime are rarely enough which means that extremes are undertaken to appear in a perpetual state of ‘youth’.”

The only problem is, men aren’t going to the same extremes, thereby creating a type of strange disparity in faces onscreen that are supposed to belong to people all roughly the same age.

We saw a similar example last year in The Undoing, when 53 year-old Nicole Kidman, devoid of facial lines, her skin, as shiny and plump as a newborn porpoise, contrasted sharply against the crinkly brow of her onscreen husband, Hugh Grant, a mere six years older than her.

On Thursday night, among the hugs and tears, it became clear that Jennifer and Courteney appeared different. They are not ageless, but somehow age adjacent – not exactly younger, but not reflective of most other non-famous women in their 50s, either.

Viewers – ordinary men and women that we are – are left with a strange and sad message, that ageing, including the inevitable slowing of metabolism, is permissible for men, but that it is probably better for women to look young. But if they can’t look young, then it is somehow better to look a little weird, a little full, and rubbery, than it is to look old.

It’s a message that in 2017 Courteney Cox said she heard loud and clear. “I grew up thinking that appearance was the most important thing. That’s kind of sad because it got me in trouble.”

It’s true, the public did speculate and judge Cox for her appearance. Perhaps that is “trouble” as defined by the actress. But it hasn’t stopped her - or Aniston - (Or Kidman, for that matter) from working. It's just disappointing to think that their overzealous quest for youth might be why.