The White Lotus recap: Saxon’s night to forget, a dinner invitation and a trip to the monastery

Welcome to The White Lotus, a show I really hope you aren’t watching with your parents/children/local spiritual leader. Shut down your monkey minds and let’s do the Wellness Check!

Warning: These recaps, where we rank which characters are having the most relaxing stay, are packed with spoilers. Only read if you have watched episode six of season three of The White Lotus.

Things seems to be improving for Gaitok (Tayme Thapthimthong).Credit:

MOST RELAXED

Gaitok Well, after almost two days of walking around the resort with a “I have a sore tummy, help” face, Gaitok managed to find his gun in Tim’s tiny drawer. (Side note: why do these fancy rooms have so many cabinets and tiny drawers? Is true wealth measured in the having of tiny drawers?)

Mook is impressed that he is trusted to hold a gun and his boss Lek is impressed he is managing to shoot the driving range target and not himself.

“Gaitok, we know you’re very smiley, but could you kill someone?” Lek asks. Gaitok smiles! Should be fine.

Rick and Chelsea This week Chelsea didn’t do much except worry about Rick. “You’re so annoying!” Rick says when Chelsea asks how he is. In reality, Rick is feeling great. His plan to trick Sritala into inviting him to her house goes perfectly!

Sritala: “Which of my movies did you say your director friend liked again?”

Rick: “All of them! You know! Movies! The talkies!”

Chelsea (Aimee Lou Wood) is totally relaxed, even with Rick in Bangkok.Credit:

Frank is uneasy about the plan. “You asked for a gun because you’re going to kill this old man,” he says.

But Rick disagrees – he’s just going to talk to the old man while holding a gun. Frank gets into his disguise (takes off a bracelet and puts on a cap) and away we go!

NOT TOTALLY RELAXED

Kate, Laurie and Jaclyn When Kate, absolutely vibrating with glee, tells Laurie that Jaclyn has slept with Valentin, Laurie’s face starts twitching violently. It’s kind of how I imagine the inside of a soft drink can looks just after you’ve shaken it up.

“I didn’t think you would care this much,” says Kate, who is so glad Laurie cares this much. “I’M ACTUALLY LAUGHING, IT’S FUNNY,” announces Laurie. “HEY JACLYN, ISN’T IT FUNNY HOW YOU’RE STILL THE SAME AS YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL, STEALING MEN, ISN’T THAT SO FUNNY!” she says to Jaclyn a short time later. In fact, Jaclyn does not think that is funny. And Kate doesn’t think it’s funny either!

Things are not going well for Jaclyn (Michelle Monaghan), Kate (Leslie Bibb) and Laurie (Carrie Coon). Credit:

“I’m not like you, sometimes I just have to be honest!” Laurie tells Kate. You know what, that is pretty funny.

Belinda Though sleeping with a handsome wellness expert did temporarily distract Belinda from possibly being murdered, it’s still playing on her mind a fair bit. “Are you still scared about being murdered, Belinda? Oh well, want to come to my concert tonight?” says a hopeful Fabian at breakfast. But Belinda, unfortunately, may be double-booked.

Belinda (Natasha Rothwell) and Pornchai (Dom Hetrakul) are kinda relaxed after their sleepover. Credit:

“I think we should talk tonight,” says Gary/Greg after emerging from a bush. Maybe he wants to talk about wellness?

LEAST RELAXED

The Ratliff family Well! It got worse!

“I can’t remember last night at all!” says Lochy on the deck of the boat. “We both blacked out!” Saxon replies, before running away to vomit and presumably self-administer a lobotomy.

Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger) had a night to remember (or not...)Credit:

It’s not until Saxon sees his party pals that he gets the full picture of the, ah, parallel acts that took place the night before. When Chloe ponders if her jealous, probably murderous boyfriend Gary/Greg wants a threesome, Saxon says confidently, “I would never have a threesome with a guy!” Chelsea and Chloe look at Saxon in confusion, as they witnessed him take part in a threesome not 12 hours earlier.

“No judgment,” Chelsea says. “Come to Gary’s party tonight and bring your brother!” Chloe says. Saxon’s brain explodes inside his skull.

Piper (Sarah Catherine Hook), Victoria (Parker Posey) and Lochlan (Sam Nivola) go looking for answers. Credit:

Meanwhile, as Victoria goes to check that Piper’s monk is “the best Buddhist in China”, each of the Ratliffs have a revelation at the temple. Lochy has a flashback to what really happened last night (yikes). Piper gets to tell the famous Buddhist monk that she’s a huge fan, and she doesn’t know how to process her family’s conflicting values (double yikes). Tim discovers he can’t outrun his pain and maybe he should just rejoin the ocean (triple yikes). Victoria, in an attempt not to lose Piper to Buddhism, suggests she stay there the night to give faux poverty a try (good idea, actually).

Tim, in between fantasising about ending his life and murdering his wife, decides the best thing to do is to go to Gary/Greg’s party. I hope the monk is there.

The White Lotus streams each Monday on Binge.

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