The couch potato’s guide to the 2024 Paris Olympics

When the residents of Sydney’s Olympic village snapped up all 70,000 condoms on offer, forcing organisers to hurriedly replenish supplies, much snickering ensued. But the real story is more nuanced.

“The condoms do get taken en masse,” says Australian swimming gold medallist Giaan Rooney, when asked about the myths surrounding the Olympic village that houses the athletes, “but not always for the reasons that get reported. Quite often, they’re taken by athletes who don’t have access to protected sex back home so they can share them with their communities.”

This year, the Nine Network and subscription video service Stan have exclusive television broadcast and streaming rights to the Games. (Nine Entertainment is the owner of this masthead.) Gone are the days of a single free-to-air channel trying to juggle multiple live events and replays. Rather, Channel 9 and 9Gem will provide 24-hour coverage from state-of-the-art studios opposite the Eiffel Tower, while Stan will stream from various locations across Paris.

“It was clear she went to go early, pulled back and missed the gun. We were devastated for her.”

Giaan Rooney on swimmer Cate Campbell in the Rio de Janeiro 2016 Games

The free 9Now video platform will stream every minute of every event in high-definition across more than 40 dedicated channels. Stan will carry these channels ad-free on its Stan Sport add-on, showcasing the biggest moments in 4K Ultra HD, as well as a 24-hour Olympic news channel, four live feature channels, and eight international and multi-language channels that include coverage from the UK, Spain, France, India and New Zealand. Ash Barty, Grant Hackett and Steph Rice are all part of Stan’s commentary team and the streamer will also feature two exclusive daily programs: Olympics Daily with Tara Rushton at 7am and Paris Preview with Adam Peacock at 8.30am.

As we look forward to Paris, from the must-see events to the rising stars, we also look back at some of the most memorable moments in recent Olympic history, guided by several of Nine’s star commentators: Rooney; Oarsome Foursome rowing gold medallist James Tomkins; paralympian and 2022 Australian of the year Dylan Alcott, who won gold in wheelchair basketball and tennis; journalist Leila McKinnon, who co-hosted Nine’s coverage of the 2012 London Olympics; sports presenter James Bracey, who covered the Beijing, London and Rio de Janeiro Games; and Eddie McGuire, whose book-length resume includes coverage of the Commonwealth Games and the Summer and Winter Olympics.

THE OPENING CEREMONY

Set your alarms: coverage begins at 3am Australian Eastern Standard Time on July 27, across Nine, 9Now and Stan, and will be replayed on all platforms.

An artist’s rendering of the athletes’ parade on the Seine.

A century after it last hosted the Summer Olympics, Paris will break with tradition by placing the opening ceremony not in a stadium but on the banks of the Seine River. Representatives from each participating nation, including more than 100 Australians, will arrive in a parade of 160 camera-equipped boats via a six-kilometre journey that ends in front of the Trocadero.

Although precise details are still under wraps, it promises to be spectacular: a song and dance extravaganza including national anthems, the official opening address and the symbolic release of doves. (Real doves have not been used since 1988, when a number of unfortunate birds perished after being drawn to the Olympic flame).

THE SCHEDULE

Channel 9

• 6.30am to 11am: Sarah Abo and Karl Stefanovic
• Midday to 3pm: Todd Woodbridge
• 3pm to 7pm: Leila McKinnon and Dylan Alcott
• 7pm to 1am: Ally Langdon and James Bracey
• 1am to 6.30am: Eddie McGuire

9Gem

• 5pm to 10pm: Sylvia Jeffreys
• 10pm to 3am: Nick McArdle
• 3am to 8am: Sam McClure
• 8am to 5pm: Long-form replays

THE BIG EVENTS

What are you most looking forward to?

Tomkins: “In rowing, the men’s eight and the women’s single – Tara Rigney has pretty much been swapping places with the Dutch and New Zealand [rowers] over the past few years so that will be an absolute belter.”

Rooney: “I have to remain true to swimming, so for me it’s the women’s 400m freestyle featuring our own Ariarne Titmus, American legend Katie Ledecky and Canada’s superstar of the future, Summer McIntosh.”

McKinnon: “The women’s 400m freestyle, but I also feel like people are ready for some more Matildas action [Australian women’s football].”

The Matildas players who will become two-time Olympians in Paris, (from left) Kyra Cooney-Cross, Mary Fowler, Teagan Micah, Michelle Heyman and Hayley Raso. Credit: Matt King/Getty Images

McGuire: “The 200m women’s freestyle with Ariarne Titmus and Mollie O’Callaghan because there’s a real chance of getting gold and silver for Australia.”

Bracey: “Chloe Cavell and Arisa Trew in skateboarding; when you see what these girls can do, it’s extraordinary! That’s what I love about the Olympics – you have these kids getting a couple of weeks off school to try to conquer the world on the big stage.”

Alcott: “In canoeing, I’m really excited to see the Fox sisters, Jess and Noemie [whose father and mother won medals in the same sport for Great Britain and France respectively]. If they both got to be on the podium, it’d be unreal. In the Paralympics, I’m excited to see Madison De Rozario defend her marathon title, Curtis McGrath in the canoe and Alexa Leary in swimming; she had a pretty hectic bike accident a few years ago and got severely injured, then qualified for the Games – I think she’ll be one of the stars of the Paralympics.”

BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL

As tempting as it is to watch every event live, at some point we’ll need to sleep – so which ones are worth staying up late for?

Tomkins: “I just can’t pick one: the sprints on the track; [Armand] Duplantis on the pole vault; in basketball, US versus Serbia will be an awesome game; obviously the swimming will be fantastic and the surfing as well.”

Rooney: “Any swimming involving Aussies, of course, as well as the Matildas.”

McKinnon: “Obviously the Matildas but I love how the Olympics embraces new sports like BMX racing, where Australian Logan Martin will be on around midnight at the end of the first week – in Tokyo, he was outstanding.”

McGuire: “The Australians in the rowing because rowing has been one of our greatest events. In the last couple of weeks, things are starting to come together for our men’s and women’s eights and they’ve got to beat the Dutch and the Brits.”

Bracey: “It has to be the swimming finals in the first week because it sets the tone for us in the Olympics; the first night especially is always a big one for Australians.”

Alcott: “Judging by the trials, we’ve got a great chance in swimming, and in the Paralympics I’ve always loved wheelchair rugby.”

AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE!

Everyone knows the sports in which Australians have excelled historically: swimming (221 medals including 71 gold); athletics (76 medals, 21 gold); cycling (54 medals, 15 gold); rowing (44 medals, 13 gold); and sailing (29 medals, 13 gold).

But who are the up-and-coming athletes worth keeping an eye on?

Tomkins: “Tara Rigney in rowing; she’s still young and I think everyone will get to know her this year.”

Rooney: “Our diving team is exceptional this year and I think we could bring home more medals than ever.”

McKinnon: “Chloe Cavell and Olivia Lovelace in skateboarding; there’s a nine-member Australian team and Chloe is only 14!”

McGuire: “Claudia Hollingsworth will turn 19 in Paris; she runs the 800m and it’ll be a crack event because she’s a young champion on her way up.”

Claudia Hollingsworth is one rising star to keep an eye on.Credit: Eddie Jim

Bracey: “Torrie Lewis has made a splash over the past 12 months; she absolutely kills it, especially the 200m on the track.”

Alcott: “Chloe Cavell because our skateboarding team is awesome and they have a genuine chance – could you imagine winning a gold medal at 14?”

TRIUMPHS AND HEARTACHES

What are the most memorable Australian wins and losses?

Tomkins: “Steve Hooker winning gold [in pole vaulting in 2008] and Kieren Perkins winning gold in ’92 and ‘96. The most heartbreaking moment was race walker Jane Saville in Sydney [who was controversially disqualified just a few hundred metres from the finishing line after failing to straighten her knee]. The whole nation was grieving over that one.”

Rooney: “I’m biased, but being part of the medley relay – with Leisel Jones, Petria Thomas and Jodie Henry – that broke the world record in Athens was my favourite victory. The most heartbreaking one is easy: Cate Campbell in Rio in 2016, in the 100m freestyle. I was part of the commentary team and was watching closely; it was clear she went to go early before pulling herself back and therefore missed the gun. We were devastated for her.”

“Raelene Boyle was basically cheated out of a win by her competitors’ systematic drug use.”

Eddie McGuire

McKinnon: “My eyes well up whenever I think of Cathy Freeman winning gold in the women’s 400m race in Sydney. The Kookaburras losing the hockey to Belgium in Tokyo, in a penalty shootout – that was tough. I think Paris is an opportunity for them to [take gold].”

McGuire: “No one will forget Cathy Freeman winning gold in Sydney but there’s another win that happened before I was born: runner Herb Elliott winning the 1500m gold medal in Rome in 1960, undefeated and breaking the world record basically on his own, having trained at the sand dunes of Portsea. He went on to become a great business leader and to me that’s sportsmanship writ large. The most disappointing one was [sprinter] Raelene Boyle who we now know was basically cheated out of a win by [her competitors’] systematic drug use. I fervently believe the MCC needs a statue of Raelene out the front because she should be acknowledged as one of our greatest athletes ever.”

Bracey: “Diver Matthew Mitcham in Beijing, knocking the Chinese off at their pet event, which was the 10m platform. No one saw that coming and I’ll never forget his big, beaming smile afterwards – and there’ll be another Matthew Mitcham in Paris, we just don’t know who it will be yet. In terms of heartache, I get triggered every time I see the footage of Jane Saville in Sydney having the judge put the red paddle in front of her. I would have grabbed it, whacked him over the back of the head and kept walking.”

“The whole nation was grieving”: Jane Saville after being disqualified in the women’s 20km walk at the Sydney 2000 Olympic Games.Credit: Stu Forster/Getty Images

Alcott: “I know everyone will say Cathy Freeman but I don’t think people can fathom having to perform under that kind of pressure. At the same Games, there was [wheelchair racer] Louise Sauvage winning gold in the Paralympics; she helped the way for people like me. Jane Saville losing so close to the finishing line was devastating and [track racing cyclist] Shane Kelly pulling his foot out of the pedal in Atlanta when he was the favourite to win.”

WHY DO ATHLETES CHOKE?

“Imagine having 1 billion people watch you while you’re writing this article,” Alcott says, “and if you type even one letter incorrectly, you lose.”

Tomkins points out that athletes have only one shot, and if they blow it, they have to wait four years to try again. “The margins are so fine,” he says. “I’m talking fractions of a second; it’s so easy to misjudge and just collapse before the line.”

Rooney says the fastest athlete is never guaranteed a win; a bad sleep, a bit of a sniffle or a momentary brain fade can make all the difference – but this unpredictability is what lends such excitement to the Games.

FALSEHOODS AND FUNNY MOMENTS

You might assume that athletes subsist on spring water and chicken breasts but in Alcott’s experience, “the queue for the McDonald’s in the Olympics village is always the longest”.

Rooney says the perception of the Olympic village as luxurious can be wide of the mark – such as in Athens, when an archeological discovery compromised the plumbing. “They had signs saying not to flush the toilet paper but to put it in an open wastepaper basket; that was never going to happen, so the toilets got blocked every single day.”

In Sydney, the US men’s swimming team promised to “smash Australia like guitars”, resulting in the triumphant Aussies playing air guitar beside the pool after putting the Americans in their place. Also in Sydney, workers set the bar for the pole vaulting at the wrong height, prompting several spectacular crashes before the mistake was fixed. “It was like something out of The Games,” says McGuire, referring to ABC’s satirical mockumentary series. “And in Moscow, the Russians opened the stadium gates whenever they had a throw to let the wind help them, but then closed it for everyone else.”

For commentators, deciding when to take a break can be fraught with peril. “In Beijing,” Bracey says, “there was one night when we thought the Aussies had no chance so we hit the Heineken tent. We’d all had a few and then someone looks at their Blackberry and goes, “Who’s Steve Hooker?” and we just dropped our beers and ran. By the time we’d got to the stadium, he’d already won.”