Deborra-Lee Furness called it as she saw it on ex-husband Hugh. About bloody time

Over dinner at my friend Lou’s place this week, she questioned the wisdom of including tonnes of previously protected personal stories in my upcoming book: “Darl, aren’t you worried about what people will think?”

Yep. I am. A lot. I’m not sure how revelations of secret addiction, fist fighting on the lawn and a suburban nudie run will be received. But after a casual relationship with the truth in my earlier years, I now know the power of it, painful though it can be.

Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness announced their separation after 27 years of marriage.Credit: Aresna Villanueva

It’s not a moral thing. My revelations are sometimes slippery, curse them. But honesty is actually the best policy, because lies require maintenance.

It’s easier not having to remember what version of yourself you’re supposed to be today. The old, “if at first you do deceive, what a tangled web you weave” thing, as my mate Brigitte says.

Which is why I could not love more the honesty masterclass Deborra-Lee Furness just delivered.

In a world where every celebrity statement sounds like it was written by the same PR robot, Furness served us something dazzlingly rare: her truth!

For those who haven’t followed along at home, after nearly two years of silence following her split from Hugh Jackman, Furness broke cover this week when their divorce was finalised.

Gone were the saccharine “we love each other more than ever” cliches of their initial separation announcement. Instead, she was brutal: “My heart and compassion goes out to anyone who has traversed the traumatic journey of betrayal. It is a profound wound that cuts deep.”

Boom. No sugar-coating. Just a scathing acknowledgment of what breaking up after nearly three decades – especially when it’s not your call – actually feels like.

I’m so there for it. It’s liberating. Especially when contrasted with Jackman’s tone-deaf response –posting an Instagram clip of himself dancing to NSYNC’s Bye Bye Bye from his stage show.

Sorry, are you five? Nothing says mature divorce-handling quite like a grown man in soft shoes trying to be cute and cryptic.

Jackman could have given Furness that moment. He’s moved on with Broadway actor Sutton Foster. He’s got what he wanted and could have, should have, been classier.

Without taking sides on the ethics of a marriage I basically know nothing about, here’s why I’m applauding what Furness’ move stands for.

Back to the honesty first. She reminded us you don’t have to keep smiling when someone blows up your life.

You don’t owe anyone a soft landing for decisions they made, or have to perform gratitude for the privilege of being abandoned.

She reminded us you don’t need to prioritise everyone else’s comfort over what you’re busting to say, even if sometimes admitting life sucks feels too risky.

There’s also the underrated fabulous power of restraint and playing the long game of revenge.

It takes discipline to choose when and how to speak or act, and Furness nailed it. She kept her powder dry. She waited until she didn’t have to play nice, and then delivered something precise and poised.

This is strategic brilliance. Biding your time means you’re not reacting – you’re responding. You’re not defending – you’re defining.

I bow down to this because it’s something I’ve never mastered.

Jennifer Aniston did, after Brad Pitt decamped with Angelina Jolie. No screaming, no shade. Just a zipped lip and a general vibe of “I’m good, thanks. I’ll just go over to Courteney’s place for a banana milkshake.” The closest she ever got to snark was to describe Jolie’s actions as “really uncool”.

And you know what? That’s cool. Especially compared to couples who go nuclear in real time – we all needed a Bex and a lie-down after the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard courtroom drama.

Furness’ move might have been about revenge. But it was also about taking back her story and her voice after being gut-punched and suffering a “profound wound that cuts deep”.

Go lady, for not spinning your heartbreak into something palatable for public consumption to make Mr Soft Shoe Shuffle feel even better about himself. I send awe and admiration. Enjoy what comes next.

Kate Halfpenny is the founder of Bad Mother Media.

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