Want to get ahead at work? Don’t do it alone

I accidentally discovered my first mentor when I was 18 years old. Fresh out of high school, I didn’t know much, but I did know that I wanted to work in an advertising agency.

Armed with a list of the top companies in the country, I sent each of them a letter in the mail to introduce myself (Yes, this was a long time ago.). Of the dozens of letters I sent out, just one replied.

Finding someone to be your mentor has become much easier over the years, but there are still some rules you should follow.Credit: Getty

My letter had somehow reached the desk of a senior executive who invited me to their large offices in North Sydney. There wasn’t a job in his department, he told me, but there was an entry-level opening in the mail room. I recognised this was the tiny crack in the door of opportunity I needed, and began my first full-time job delivering letters and packages around the office.

That same man – kind, suave and British – eventually became my boss and, over time, my first mentor at work. He was patient enough to teach me the gentle art of persuasion and how to build respect through actions. He was also the first of many mentors I’ve been fortunate to have in my life, all of them formed organically.

Some companies have official mentorship programs where you’re matched with senior colleagues, but you shouldn’t have to wait for that to gain the benefits of experience. Here’s how to find your own people your own way:

1. Look outside your industry.

It might be tempting to think a mentor has to know all the details about your business. Sure, that sometimes helps, but so can have perspective from outside your field to give you fresh insights you hadn’t thought of before.

2. Ask first.

Mentors rarely find you, you have to seek them out. Look around at everyone in your network, both inside and outside your workplace, and identify those you admire. You don’t have to use the loaded word ‘mentor’, but it is up to you to make the first contact.

3. Begin softly.

The most important aspect of a mentorship is the quality of the relationship, and there will always be people you will click with more than others. Instead of diving in headfirst and booking a year’s worth of monthly meetings, start with a quick coffee to confirm the chemistry, and then work up from there.

4. Do the heavy lifting.

People with years of experience generally have full calendars and heads, so the onus for a mentorship – even an informal one – is on the person who stands to gain the most. The mentee should always book in the catch-up, have an agenda, and be responsible for any follow-ups.

5. Keep it casual.

Don’t think you have to confine your mentor meetings to just the workplace. Make a point of changing up the routine in a local cafe or restaurant, ensuring you pay the bill in exchange for knowledge.

There are even some established groups, like the Mentor Walks movement, that matches aspiring women with accomplished female leaders for one-hour walks to have career conversations about anything.

6. Respect their privacy.

A good mentor will give you honest advice based on their years of failures, experience and successes. Sometimes that might be unvarnished, harsh truths intended to help solve your problems. And the best way you can repay them? Keep their advice confidential.

7. Spread the knowledge.

You can always have multiple mentors in your life at the same time. One might be excellent at helping you solve specific problems, while the other might help you see the bigger picture. Knowing you don’t need to lean on any single person can also take some of the pressure off the relationship.

Finding a good mentor can have an extraordinary impact on your career. I wouldn’t know half the things I do today if it weren’t for the generous advice of those who went before me.

Thankfully, you no longer need to post letters in the mail and cross your fingers to find one, just follow the steps above and add the joy of a mentor to your life today.

Tim Duggan is the author of Work Backwards: The Revolutionary Method to Work Smarter and Live Better. He writes a regular newsletter at timduggan.substack.com

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