I was on a plane when someone on board died

Life has a habit of sending challenges our way. And when we travel, we’re likely to be batting off more unexpected events than we’ll ever encounter at home.

That’s partly because we’re not really in control. It starts before we even get on the plane. We can’t do anything about flight delays, cancellations and flight diversions in the air. We have to suck it up, keep calm and carry on (to our destination, hopefully.)

Deaths mid-flight might be rare, but are distressing for all involved – particularly the flight attendants.Credit: Getty Images

But what if the very worst thing happens? What if a passenger on our flight becomes seriously ill or, sadly, dies? How do we as passengers handle this kind of tragic event?

I’ve been on many flights with medical emergencies and one or two that have had to turn back or delay departure until the person is treated.

People often get on planes feeling ill but hoping they’ll be OK, only to deteriorate once the plane is in the air.

Last year I was on an interstate flight that was delayed by more than an hour at the gate. Then we sat on the tarmac for another hour or so waiting for air-traffic clearance.

I spent much of the time chatting to a lovely woman who was excited to be visiting her grandchildren. But as the flight progressed, she did not look well at all. She told me she was a diabetic and the flight delays meant she was overdue taking her medicine, which was in the hold.

It turned into a full-blown emergency with an oxygen tank and multiple attendants helping her.

Happily, she recovered enough to walk off the plane when we reached the destination. But it could have been much worse.

A few years ago, I was on a plane when someone died in the next cabin. I heard the disturbance and noted the flurry of activity and the cordoned off area once everything had gone quiet.

I may have been on more flights where this has happened, but flight attendants try to be as discreet as possible when someone dies in the air.

It’s an extremely distressing event for many, including passengers. Early this year, an Australian couple spoke of the trauma they felt when the woman beside them died on a Qatar flight to Doha, and they had no option but to sit next to her body, which was covered in a blanket, for the remainder of the flight.

On full flights it’s often difficult to find a place to put a deceased person. Galleys need to be in use, toilets are undignified, and almost every other spot is in proximity to other passengers. Flights don’t generally divert once a person is deemed deceased.

The situation is also distressing for flight attendants, who are the first responders. They are well-trained to deal with this eventuality, but deaths on flights are, thankfully, extremely rare.

Flight attendants chat on social media about the distress they feel when they can’t save a passenger, whether it’s a baby, or an elderly person who has saved up for their first trip to Europe.

“Someone once asked what was the best and worst parts of my job?” writes one flight attendant. “I said the best was I saved four lives; the worst was I lost three.”

“It’s taken a lot of effort and resources to process the trauma,” writes another. “And to make sure every day on the plane isn’t full of triggers.”

Some flight attendants complain about lack of mental health support from their airlines. Often, they are required to continue on the next leg as if nothing has happened.

But they have no time for the passengers who complain about being inconvenienced when a death onboard leads to the delay of a meal service or an aisle is temporarily blocked.

“As we were working on the medical, a passenger in the row behind complained he couldn’t see the overhead movie screen,” writes one.

So, if you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of sharing your row with someone who didn’t make it, think of them first, then their loved ones, and then the flight attendants who may look calm but are likely to be grieving deeply underneath.

I like the attitude of this flight attendant: “You cannot save everyone. It’s the hardest thing. But it is an honour to escort and care for people leaving this life.”