I lived in a caravan park for six months. Here are 10 things I learnt

You’ve been down the #vanlife rabbit hole, traipsed around your local Caravan and Camping Expo and finally bought your own caravan (or hired one), now it’s time to hit the road. So, what are the ground rules, you ask?

After many trips across and around Australia in a Kombi, motorhome and caravan, and a recent six-month stint in a beachside caravan park while renovating our house (see legislation.nsw.gov.au; consumer.vic.gov.au for rules about long-term stays), I’ve done the hard yards for you. Here are my top 10 lessons.

The writer with her temporary home.Credit:

No one judges your setup, only your parking skills

Watching a newcomer set up his rig is the best show in town, especially if it coincides with happy hour. Here’s how it goes; the men will stand around, watching for a few minutes before sauntering over. “Right hand down. A bit more. Keep going. Yep, now straighten up.” A crowd gathers, voices rise, and the women wander off. The exception is the van dream-team, who have choreographed their hand signals like ground marshals parking an A380. BYO popcorn.

Emptying the caravan toilet isn’t a big deal (for him)

To the uninitiated, the toilet cassette is a removable waste-holding tank that needs emptying every few days. Taking the contents to the dump point is the one job that I, along with most women I know, refuse to do (we call it the Walk of Shame). Fortunately, most men hold no such aversion. Rather, they wheel their toilet cassettes through the park with the breezy confidence of someone pulling hand luggage through a terminal. If there are others waiting, they’ll enjoy a good old chinwag about tow ball weights, petrol prices and the likelihood of rain, all without interruption – or eye rolls – from their partners.

Duct tape is currency

Leaky hoses, torn canvas, ripped sneakers – you name it, my MacGyver-of-a-husband has patched them all with nothing more than duct tape. So versatile is this tacky tape that NASA even used it to make running repairs on the Apollo 13 mission. Keep a few spares, but if you run out, know your neighbour will happily trade a roll for a cold beer. The consensus is that if it can’t be fixed with duct tape, you’re in trouble.

Everyone has a story

There’s the young family doing the “big lap” while home-schooling three children; the woman with kidney failure whose husband had reinforced the chassis of their van to take the weight of her dialysis solutions; and the man who eats only every third day (still scratching my head over that one). From retired couples to singles, locals to internationals, everyone has a backstory, and the time on their hands to tell it. Be mindful, while you’re enjoying a holiday, that others may be travelling under less fortunate circumstances.

The hottest tips are shared around the campfire

Apps such as WikiCamps or CamperMate are great, but no one’s got the inside goss like the blokes at the campfire. Keep your ears pricked for insider intel on the best maintained caravan parks, the ones with grassy sites, great cafes, beachfront camping or school holiday activities. Lean in for the tips on free camp sites, which come with a tap to the side of the nose in the universal signal of secrecy.

Community matters

If you want space and privacy, travel off-grid or off-season, otherwise be prepared for a bit of chaos. There’ll be impromptu film nights on the back of someone’s van, morning coffee circles and nightly invites to share wine and cheese. Like a pop-up village on wheels, vanners are the first to lend a hand or a spare hose fitting. One time, a solo traveller on an adjoining site was admitted to hospital for a few days. On his return, fellow campers pitched in with meals and offers to run errands for him. It’s just how it goes.

The caravan catwalk opens at 5pm daily

There’s a moment each afternoon when every camper feels the need to complete the “caravan circuit” – that lap of the park where they spy on everyone else’s rigs. A little French flaneur, a bit of Victorian-era promenade and a whole lot of Aussie swagger, it’s a daily ritual. How else will you discover the latest model of your favourite caravan brand? Or daydream about updating your van to one with a slide-out bed? Or be inspired, as we were, to restore a 1960s plywood van as a gin bar.

The local farmers’ market is your pantry on the road

Why queue at the supermarket when almost every coastal or country town has a farmers’ market packed with seasonal local produce. From Milawa cheese to Sapphire Coast rock oysters to tropical fruits from northern NSW, there’s something magical about tasting food steps from where it was produced, plucked or shucked. As a bonus, filling your string bag helps cut waste, reduce carbon footprints and strengthen community ties.

Plan for four seasons in one day

Each day, the weather sets the playlist; one minute it’s Riders on the Storm, the next Here Comes the Sun. While extreme events can make you want to pack up and go home, I’ve learnt to embrace the seasonal swing of things. Spend the extra dollars on a heavy-duty awning and you’ll have front-row seats to Mother Nature’s wildest acts. This is where site selection – overlooking the ocean, river, billabong or outback scrubland – comes into its own. Being close to a toilet block is also a smart move.

Less really is more

Before Marie Kondo, there was my nan, and her saying “a place for everything and everything in its place” still serves campers to this day. It’s less about what sparks joy and more about what flattens, folds or collapses into a cupboard. The payoff is freedom – less stuff means less stress and more time for beach cricket.