I love Europe, but a few hours in this country is more than enough

Hairpin bends lead me from France to Andorra. Up and up into the Pyrenees, mountain streams gushing by the roadside, hawks drifting over the valley.

Uninterested guards wave my car over the border. I’m already disappointed. When I visit a fabulous medieval mini-state, I expect soldiers with hauberks stamping my passport with a coat-of-arms depicting unicorns or salamanders.

Landlocked Andorra is one of the world’s smallest countries.Credit: iStock

In Andorra, I cross the border without fanfare or welcome, and am fed through a tunnel whose €7.90 ($14) toll makes Sydney Harbour Tunnel seem like a bargain.

Then I’m descending a valley through modern ski villages whose bulky hotel-apartments lie mostly empty. I doubt anyone ever won a prize for architecture in Andorra. Perhaps caps of snow would make these villages seem more attractive.

This landlocked country in the Pyrenees is one of the world’s smallest countries: 468 square kilometres, population 80,000. It has remained independent since 1278. Well, sort of. The feudal principality has two co-regents, one the president of France, the other the bishop of Urgell in Spain, neither elected by Andorrans.

I’ve always wanted to see Andorra because it sounds like it should be the perfect distillation of my favourite bits of Europe: mountain scenery, an odd and ancient history, quirky culture and politics, Spanish-French influences.

What sounds good on paper doesn’t work well in reality. The Spanish influence is far greater than the French, which means dining times are late, pastries unexciting, and baskets of crusty bread with meals have vanished.

Have Andorrans adopted the good things from Spain? Hard to say because I’m not sure who actually is Andorran. Only half the residents are native, and millions of French and Spanish shoppers pour into this tiny country to plunder its tax-free shops.

As I slide into Andorra la Vella, my heart sinks further. Europe’s highest capital (1023 metres) sits in a tight valley that blocks views to nice mountains and forces buildings to sit shoulder by shoulder and sometimes seemingly on top of one another.

Traffic is funnelled through a few tight roads, and soon I’m crawling through town and into a giant car park. For a country that promotes hiking, locals in this tiny country seem surprisingly devoted to the motorcar, and exhaust fumes replace fresh mountain air.

Andorra la Vella is a giant shopping mall or giant airport duty free set in the open air. That’s perhaps heaven for anyone wanting to buy outdoor clothing, perfume and watches, but why come here to do it?

Andorra promotes hiking, but its residents seem to love driving more.Credit: iStock

You can see the same shops and buy the same goods anywhere in the world, and Andorra’s bargain-priced credentials have been recently eroded by the adoption of the euro, online shopping competition and introduction of a sales tax.

The country’s other chief source of income is ski tourism, which hauled Andorrans out of remote mountain poverty in the post-World War II era. But the ski season runs from December to April, and now it’s late May. Given the already beating heat, Andorrans are heading for global-warming problems with their skiing credentials.

I can’t find anything in Andorra to excite me. Not an old building and hardly a nice one. Not a stirring monument and no particular sign of cultural distinctiveness. Barely a fluttering flag. This seems like a country that has sold its soul and creates nothing beautiful, but merely relies on the beauty of its mountains.

The road out of Andorra is lined by car dealers and supermarkets and fast-food outlets, like a lesson in modern dreariness. I can’t wait to leave, and I’ve never said that about another European country.

Andorra is so small that my wish is soon realised. Suddenly, I’m in Spain, and who wouldn’t want a piece of that?

THE DETAILS

FLY
Barcelona, a scenic 2½-hour drive from Andorra, is the nearest major airport. Emirates flies from Melbourne and Sydney via Dubai to Barcelona. See emirates.com

STAY
An abundance of competing hotels aimed at the ski market keeps prices low in the off-season. NH Andorra la Vella is a stylish four-star stay with rooms from €75 ($134) per night. See nh-hotels.com

MORE
visitandorra.com

The writer travelled at his own expense.