Tip of the hat, NRL: Your draw for this weekend is perfect

Let’s start with the bleeding obvious. Whoever does the scheduling for the NRL really has done a superb job.

What better can we ask for than a final round where the Dolphins and Knights play for the eighth spot, even as the lowly Tigers and Eels were playing for the spoon on Friday night, while Saturday’s Bulldogs-Cowboys match will be a playoff for fifth and even the Sea Eagles and Sharks match will also have an influence of the final makeup of the eight. It is, friends, the dream finish for what has been a notably good comp this year.

The only downside is that despite all that, we all know that either Penrith or the Storm will win it, and all the rest is filler. Sometimes spectacular filler, yes, but filler all the same. In fact, I’ll call it now. If Nathan Cleary indeed makes his way back, Penrith will win the grand final. If not, Storm.

If you need me, I will be in my trailer.

Gout Gout: Remember this name

Get ready, sports fans. Do you remember the first time you saw Michael Jordan make a layup, Mark Waugh caress a cover drive, David Campese perform a goose-step, Serena Williams hammer a backhand cross-court to the far corners? Do you remember when you recognised greatness with just one look?

Have a look at this then, or put Gout Gout into Google.

A sixteen-year-old Australian lad born to parents who emigrated here from South Sudan, he ran the 100m earlier this year in 10.29 seconds. For perspective, the fastest Australian sprinter we’ve had so far is Patrick Johnson who clocked 9.93 seconds in 2003.

But just one look at Gout and you know he will go far – and fast.

Just this week, seeing as you mention it, he even broke an age record of Usain Bolt’s when he recorded a series of great times for the 200m at the U20 World Championships in Lima, Peru.

When I asked Matt Shirvington, another of Australia’s great sprinters about him, his response was immediate and unequivocal.

Gout Gout appears set for sprinting stardom.Credit: Athletics Australia

“He is amazing, and Australia’s best sprint prospect of all time! Yes, he just missed gold in the 200m at the world juniors last week, after a slow start, but when he was up and running he was easily the best in the field. I love his attitude too – he opted out of the 100m at World Juniors knowing that his 200m was his stronger event.

“He knew that, given his age, doing the rounds of the 100m would fatigue him for the 200m which is a very mature approach. This is exactly the path Usain took. Usain was unbeatable in the 200m for years and only started running the 100m later in his career, just before the 2008 games, the rest is history! Noah Lyles also followed this path.

“Gout will be Australia’s greatest ever sprinter and by quite some margin. I love everything about him!”

They’re baaaaaack.

So, they’re going ahead with the 2026 Comm Games after all? Can we phone our effort in? Seriously, with just 10 sports being featured of which swimming and athletics making up two, why bother?

No doubt the commentariat will make hay with the fact that the Glasgow Games will be substantially funded by the compensation payment from Victoria for cancelling it, but it changes nowt.

It was fine in its time, but its time has gone – whatever dead cat bounce it might get in 2026.

Novak Djokovic is the latest sporting great to learn that nobody lasts forever.Credit: Getty Images

Father Time remains undefeated

And now the end is near, and so Novak faces the final curtain.

Well, not quite. But when it comes to Djokovic if you listen closely you can certainly hear a lady of generous proportions warbling in the distance. There, have, true, been three other occasions in the past seventeen years when Djokovic didn’t win a major, but 2024 is the first year since 2002 that none of Roger Federer, Novak Djokovic or Rafael Nadal will have won none.

Back then, Pete Sampras – if you remember him – defeated Andre Agassi in the final and then the new era began. Djokovic’s loss to our own Alexi Popyrin in the third round feels like the bookend to that era, 22 years later.

This is not to say that Djokovic can’t win again, but he will be nearer to 38 than 37 by the time of the Australian Open, and he is already obviously not the player he was, despite his gold medal in Paris. Bring on the new era, thus. With the likes of Alex de Minaur, Alexei Popyrin and Jordan Thompson, Australia is well-placed to have a dig.

Even Iowa’s caught up in Raygun vitriol

It was great to see Rachael “Raygun” Gunn come out this week and put to bed much of the nonsense that has been written and said about her since she burst into global prominence at the Paris Olympics with her breakdancing routine. As discussed, after watching her interview with Waleed Aly on The Project it was obvious she is not the shameless grifter her myriad critics made her out to be.

She came across as a very likeable woman, still stunned by the whole saga. She was keen to set the record straight on a few issues – including the manner of her selection.

Waleed: “How did you qualify for the Paris Olympic Games?”

Raygun: “I won the Oceania championship.”

There were nine judges, and as she made clear, she knew none of them.

Despite that there is still, disgracefully, plenty of hate being sent her way. Some of that hate, as it happens, is finding its way to – if you can believe it – a shirt shop in Des Moines, Iowa called Raygun. How did they react?

Wonderfully! They held a community breakdancing event, inviting all comers. And a good time was had by all. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, youse haters.

What They Said

Jake Trbojevic on Triple M about his bruvva: “Tom’s the most resilient person I’ve seen in my life, to get his 150th today after what he’s been through . . . I love him so much, I’m so proud of him and to see him go off was heartbreaking.” Those three brothers, including Ben, are a credit to rugby league.

NFL coaching icon, Bill Belichick, 72. “I can’t really believe I’m doing this, but I’ve joined Instaface.” Coincidentally, it seems he also joined Instagram!

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese at the Cauliflower Club lunch, acknowledged an Australian rugby great, who had driven up from Canberra with his heavily pregnant wife Emma, just for the occasion: “And Senator David Pocock, who in just two years in Parliament has absolutely ruined the touch footy competition!”

Team USA’s Matt Stutzman became the first armless archer to win gold at the Paralympic Games on Sunday, as he beat top seed Ai Xinliang and set a new Paralympic record: “In the last four years, I never thought once about winning a gold medal. It was about having fun and making memories.”

American Matt Stutzman in action in Paris.Credit: Getty Images

Naomi Osaka after her US Open exit: “It’s like a dramatic word, but I feel like my heart dies every time I lose.” She was great winning four slams in quick succession but something is no longer working.

Alexei Popyrin on knocking out Novak Djokovic from the US Open: “Third time lucky, I guess. Obviously, we had some battles at the Australian Open, Wimbledon, I had my chances in those matches but didn’t take them.”

Novak on the loss to Popyrin, lightly assisted by Father Time: “Sitting from a larger perspective, of course I have to be content. It’s hard to see the big perspective right now, you know. You’re just angry and upset that you lost and the way you played and that’s it.”

Aussie Ryley Batt after tactical meltdown cost them gold in wheelchair rugby: “Sport can be cruel sometimes. [But] at times like this, when you get deflated, you’ve got to remember that life isn’t over. It’s not the end of the world. You’ve got a beautiful family, you’ve got an amazing community, friends, family and supporters around you who help you along the way. I’m not going to sit here and bash myself up.”

Oscar Piastri was on the wrong end of Ferrari’s strategy genius.Credit: Getty Images

Oscar Piastri after finishing second at the Italian Grand Prix: “I’m not going to lie, it hurts a lot.”

Dylan Brown of the Eels: “Parramatta’s already got enough wooden spoons. We don’t need another one. Everyone remembers first, everyone remembers second, and everyone remembers the wooden spoon – nobody remembers second-last. Everyone remembers last. And we don’t want that.”

Las Vegas Raider Davante Adams on claims that he’s not happy at his team: “At the end of the day, the facts are the facts and that is not a fact . . . If it ain’t from the horse’s mouth, it’s probably bullshit.” As a mixed metaphor, that might be world-class.

Australian swimmer Alexa Leary on winning gold at the Paralympics: “I’m just amazed that I did it . . . I’ve just come so far in life. Being told three years ago I wouldn’t live … but I am. I proved the world wrong.”

Raygun to Waleed Aly: “It’s been a pretty wild ride. I definitely have my ups and downs, my good and bad days . . . It definitely has been tough at times. I got some mental health support pretty quickly, and I also went off social media . . . I didn’t understand the scale of it. I did preview some comments and I was like, ‘Oh no,’ and this kind of sick feeling started coming out.”

Team of the Week

Eastern Suburbs. Won their first Shute Shield in 55 years defeating Norths 36-35 in a thriller. Bravo. And great for the Sydney club game.

Swans and Giants. Meet at the SCG in a final on Saturday afternoon. The Swans will win, but be lucky to do so. You heard it here first.

Dolphins/Knights. Their match on Sunday will determine who gets the eighth spot in the finals.

Dragons and Broncos. With their spots in the final eight on the line, they conceded a combined 84 points to go down in what might have been flames had they played with any passion. But it was more like sodden doughnuts with big holes sinking beneath the waves. (Hello, Metaphor Workshop? Yes, clear the morning, please. Needs major repair job.)

Wallabies. Nailed a great last-second win against Argentina to show further signs of a renaissance under Joe Schmidt. Playing the Pumas again on Sunday morning.

Scott Robertson. Only six Tests into his career coaching the All Blacks but his win percentage of 66.6% is the lowest since Laurie Mains. Get Robbie!

X/Twitter: @Peter_Fitz

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