‘I’m still pinching myself’: Cavallo overwhelmed by world’s support after coming out

Josh Cavallo expected his coming out as a gay male footballer would make headlines. What he didn’t anticipate was how far-reaching his brave step would be, and how it would attract the support of superstar players and elite clubs around the world.

The Adelaide United midfielder on Wednesday became the only openly gay top-flight male footballer, coming out in an emotional video and open letter published on social media. In the hours before its release, he said he could feel his heart beating through his chest, such was his anxiety.

The immediate, overwhelmingly supportive response put his nerves at rest. When he woke up on Thursday morning and read the messages of solidarity that had flooded his inbox from around the world, Cavallo had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t still dreaming.

Cavallo’s beloved Liverpool tweeted a message of support, praising his “strength and bravery”. So, too, Manchester United’s Raphael Varane. Arsenal labelled him “an inspiration”, Bayern Munich praised his “courage and strength” while Swedish star Zlatan Ibrahimovic took a rare break from tweeting about himself to describe Cavallo as “a champion”.

Having been racked with nerves a day earlier, Cavallo said he had never smiled so much as in the past 24 hours. Having hidden his secret for more than six years, the 21-year-old has become a symbol of courage, bravery and inspiration in a sport behind the times, considering its universal popularity.

“The likes of [Gerard] Pique from Barcelona, [Atletico Madrid striker Antoine] Griezmann - we are talking Griezmann here, who won a World Cup. He is recognising me and telling me he’s proud of me. That is incredible. I am so stoked to see it,” Cavallo said.

“I am still stoked to see that. I am still pinching myself. It made me think, ‘Why have I been hiding it this long?’ I lived six years like that in the darkness. It affected my mental health and there was no need, it was just fear.”

Cavallo’s journey towards Wednesday’s announcement was long and painful. As he progressed through the ranks into the A-League, he says he was living a double life. He dreaded locker room chat and social outings with teammates, saying he became “a good actor” when it came to hiding his sexuality. But that came at a heavy toll, affecting his performance as well as his mental health.

“It gets very lonely and isolating, the journey that you go on,” Cavallo said. “I often found myself removing myself from the environment, from my teammates, from my coaches.

“I wouldn’t want to hang out with them, and it’s not because I didn’t want to be around them, it’s because I didn’t want to be in awkward situations and asked questions where I felt uncomfortable.

“It was very hard for me to perform to the best of my ability and carry this burden because I had to lie. On the pitch, I wasn’t thinking about football, I was thinking about the conversation I would have later on in the change rooms.”

Six weeks ago, Cavallo spoke to the players’ union. He told Adelaide’s head coach Carl Veart and assistant Ross Aloisi he intended to come out as gay. The pair embraced Cavallo and threw their support behind him.

“They wrapped their arms around me, made me feel welcomed, and they said: ‘You’re still the same kid, you’re the same Josh, so no worries’. That gave me the confidence to think I can do this to the public,” he said.

The reception he received from his teammates a short while later was much the same. Cavallo’s announcement was motivated in a large part by the need to live his truth, and protect his wellbeing. But just as important was his desire to help anyone else in his position. By coming out, he wanted to ensure others do not feel alone. He sought to play his part in making the conservative world of men’s professional football a much safer one.

“It will be a very proud moment for myself if I can inspire just one person,” he said. “I want to speak to the people that are walking in my shoes and experiencing the same things.

“It’s OK, this is fine, this will be normalised. The reaction I received is phenomenal, and I am getting treated exactly the same, no different from anyone. I have only got nothing but love from everyone on social media. It’s a very symbolic moment and something I am going to remember for the rest of my life.”

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