WFH is being replaced by a less welcome acronym. Perth, we must fight back

WFH: the humble acronym abruptly thrust into our everyday parlance when we were banished from our cubicles as COVID-19 took hold.

At first, there was an ever-mounting sense of panic, as we felt like cretins trying to log on to video chats, grappling with the mute button while barking at the kids and pets to shut up, accidentally sharing pictures of ourselves cosplaying as Baby Yoda to our Zoom meetings instead of sharing important documents (just me?)

Here’s me enjoying my work-life balance.

It was unknown etiquette terrain for a population where previously only about 3 per cent of workers had worked from home. Cameras on or off in meetings? Do we still frock up? Do we risk leaving laptops unattended, camera off, to dash to the dunny or whip up a toasted sandwich while listening to an online presentation?

But within months we were logging in wearing tracky dacks and pyjamas while gobbling down cereal, enjoying the work-life balance nobody saw coming. Schoolkids weren’t found wandering the streets waiting for parents late for pick-up. Fast fashion tides slowed because we needed fewer clothes for work. We adapted and embraced the hybrid model.

Post-COVID, people want to keep that flexibility only to be assaulted by a new acronym: RTO (Return to the Office).

Major companies around the nation and the globe are ordering staffers back to work. Australian employers Flight Centre and Dell have followed in the footsteps of gaming outfit Tabcorp by mandating workers to RTO five days a week.

But hybrid workers aren’t taking the new decrees sitting down, with almost three-quarters of Amazon’s corporate staff threatening to quit after the tech giant announced its new RTO policy.

Closer to home, the billionaire boss of Perth-based mining giant Mineral Resources, Chris Ellison, was among the first to put the kibosh on WFH, bluntly reinforcing his stance in a financial presentation recently saying he had a no-work-from-home policy.

“I wish everyone else would get on board with that – the sooner the better,” he said. “The industry can’t afford it.”

He also told his 5600 workers he doesn’t want them popping out for a jolt.

“I don’t want them walking down the road for a cup of coffee,” he said. “We kind of figured out a few years ago how much that cost.”

One psychological benefit of working from home has not been explored.

I mean, come on! Caffeine has always been capitalism’s first drug of choice.

In August, NSW Premier Chris Minns ordered public servants to work primarily from their office or workplace.

West Australian Premier Roger Cook says his government has no plans to follow suit, saying his public servants for the most part have stayed in the office because of the state’s success in managing the pandemic.

The pros and cons of WFH have been well documented.

Given the crippling cost of living, one critical advantage is financial as people spend less time and money commuting (and on $7 oat-milk lattes).

They’re not rocking up to work in stinking moods after being subjected to some goofy Perth radio personality prattling on about Robert Irwin’s latest pet while stuck in traffic.

And despite conglomerates’ fear they’re spending their days at home streaming shows and watching YouTube tutorials on felting, Professor Jarrod Haar, from the School of Management at Massey University, has found hybrid workers are more productive and more likely to go the extra mile out of gratitude.

“Workers know they’re on to a good thing,” he said.

What has been less documented is the psychological benefits of not irritating the crap out of each other.

Workplaces can be tricky to navigate, given that sometimes the only thing that binds people together is walking the same carpet eight hours a day. At my work, you might only see some colleagues one day a week, so it’s less likely you’ll find out they’re an avid Frisbee golfer who loves to don a knight’s outfit for medieval reenactments. It’s unlikely you’ll get invited to their kid’s birthday because they can’t remember your name. There is also less of an urge to withdraw some super to pay for a hit on the more annoying ones.

The pandemic accidentally created a working world that flipped the unending repetitiveness of heading to the office every day of the working week, giving us a work-life balance enjoyed by our hunter-gatherer ancestors.

Not everyone loves working remotely for myriad valid reasons. But overall, flexibility is good for families, gender equality, productivity and workers with disabilities.

If Karl Marx was around today, his slogan would be “hybrid workers are happy workers”.

And while the battle could rage for years, it’s becoming abundantly clear workers aren’t giving up their flexibility without a fight.

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