‘Ties are cut like an umbilical cord’: What I wish I’d known before my year 12 exams

What if my pen runs out of ink? What if my back-up pen breaks? What if I lose my last-resort pen?

These were the three most pressing questions on my mind exactly 12 months ago, on the morning of my first VCE exam.

Year 12 exams can dominate everything in the moment. Credit: iStock

It was English – a three-hour-long behemoth I had spent months studying for – and I couldn’t help but feel the enormity of what was tied to my performance in that examination hall. My reputation, my future, and my university prospects were all on the line – at least that’s what I believed at the time. I was determined that my pens would not be responsible for my downfall.

There is now some space between that deeply stressed-out year 12 version of me and present-day me. I wish I could go back in time and give the younger version some advice. First, I’d say that the upcoming history essay would be on Louis XVI, and perhaps more importantly, I’d point out that while an ATAR score matters, what matters most is how you perceive it.

Let me explain. Like most kids who are planning to attend university, I grew up hearing two theories about the Australian Tertiary Admissions Rank (your overall education “score”): the first was that your ATAR means nothing. The second was that it means everything.

As a high school student caught up in the impending ranking of my smarts – slightly dystopian, now that I think about it – it was difficult to see how ATARs could be anything but the be-all and end-all of my future. Why else would schools be measured by their students’ scores if they were not the single most important thing a year 12 student works towards? At the other end of the spectrum, a year out of school and with the VCE a thing of my past, it’s easy to see how ATARs might be perceived as meaningless.

Which is it, then? Should students cramming for exams throw their textbooks away or intensify their efforts?

As a recent product of the system, I can tell you this: yes, your ATAR matters, but not as much as you might be thinking at this moment.

A month after my exams, I spent a week in The Age newsroom. During that time, I made a TikTok asking Melburnians on the street, each of different ages and practising different professions, what their ATAR had been, and how their scores had affected them. One woman, who scored a respectable (but not A+) score of 80, is now a Supreme Court judge.

VCE exams are on for another year. Credit: Wayne Taylor

In the comment section, people shared stories that further confirmed what I know now, but wish I had known on that morning 12 months ago. “85 and it cost me a menty b [mental breakdown],” one person wrote. “Whatever ATAR you get, you’re still gonna have to work,” another said.

At worst, a poor ATAR is a set-back, not a disqualifier. For people whose scores allow them to get into the university and into a course of their choosing, great. For those whose are too low, you can apply yourself in the first year of a different course and transfer in the second (which is becoming increasingly common). And if you aren’t interested in university, it really is irrelevant.

This is what I mean when I say what matters most is how you perceive your score. Why? Because, while the VCE system is overwhelming when you’re in it, ties are cut like an umbilical cord once your final exam ends. The process finishes abruptly. No more catching the 8.27am tram for first period, no more coming home at 3.45pm to start homework by 5pm. No more fixation on a single, numerical goal. Therefore, those who allow the ATAR to dominate their thinking struggle when school finishes, whereas those who maintain a sense of what is important – family, friendships, hobbies, health – tend to succeed.

It can be a tough balance to strike, sure, especially when you’re in the thick of it. I remember coming home last year after a poor result and informing my mother that Paul Keating had dropped out of school, and that maybe I would, too. I also remember feeling, a month later, that I surely deserved a knighthood, or at the least an Order of Australia, after I aced an essay.

If you can successfully ride the emotional roller coaster of the exam period and view the ATAR for what it is – significant, yes, but not the end of the world – you’ll get through your final year of school to find yourself smiling at the other end. At least that’s what I’d want to tell year 12 me if I could.

Daniel Cash is a law student at ANU.

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