The ballad of Samantha Kerr

Sometimes it is not who is standing in the criminal dock of a court but who is sitting at the Bar table that really matters.

There are lawyers who know the law backwards and there are bare-knuckle barristers who will use just about any legal tactic to get a win.

Matildas captain and Chelsea striker Sam Kerr leaves Kingston Crown Court in London.Credit: AP

The best become senior counsels, known as silks. They cost a fortune, but if you have the money it is best to make the investment because in the court system the deeper your pockets the better your odds.

The home of the English justice system is London’s Old Bailey, and one of their most respected King’s Counsels is William “Bill” Emlyn Jones. He has been given the prestigious Band 1 rating, the highest available.

Get a load of this testimonial: “William is one of the most respected and able prosecutors at the Old Bailey in the most serious and complex cases. His personable manner and charm should not hide his inner steely determination. He is a tough and astute cross-examiner and a master tactician.”

The Old Etonian and MCC member with a weakness for fine food and wine is a specialist in homicide, serious organised crime, blackmail, fraud and people smuggling.

In one high-profile murder case, three people were charged, but only Bill’s client was acquitted.

He was the lead prosecutor in the dreadful case in which 39 Vietnamese died inside a refrigerated truck in Essex, and in another where the offender met victims through the Grindr app to drug and rob them, killing one in the process.

It’s no wonder his fees run at the top end in a business where the best KCs demand $3000 an hour.

So why was he appointed as the lead prosecutor in a pissy little case of a drunk woman who got lippy with a cop at a London police station?

The reason is the woman happens to be Matildas captain Sam Kerr.

Let’s be clear. This case is the biggest attack on an Australian sports star from the mother country since Bodyline.

Australian cricketer Bert Oldfield is struck in the head by Harold Larwood during the Bodyline series of 1933.

A recap: Kerr threw up in a London taxi, initially refused to pay compensation, argued the toss when the cabbie took her to a police station and called PC Stephen Lovell stupid and white.

Lovell dealt calmly with an angry drunk and, as he was not a soccer fan, had no idea of Kerr’s profile.

After the alcohol-fuelled tantrum subsided, Kerr paid $1800 compensation to the cabbie while still at the police station and returned the next day to apologise to the police.

Lovell made a statement making no mention of the “stupid and white” comment. The brief of evidence went to the Crown Prosecution Service, and it knocked it back as a storm in a teacup.

The other police officer with Lovell at the time, PC Shane Scott, said he had taken no offence at Kerr’s comments.

But someone in the police wasn’t happy, and by now Kerr’s profile was well known. In a second statement taken from Lovell, he raised the “stupid and white” comments, saying he was “shocked and upset” and was left feeling humiliated. He added: “They were too far, and I took great offence to them.”

It would appear the first failed brief was for criminal damage and then the charge of racially aggravated harassment was added, which is why Lovell’s first statement hadn’t mentioned Kerr’s comments. In Australian police circles it is called a hamburger with the lot (in England, maybe it is called cod with mushy peas), in which as many charges as possible are added to make the case look more impressive.

If he was shocked and upset then PC Lovell showed admirable professionalism in not showing that during the interview. And if he felt humiliated in what is an entirely routine police interaction with someone not at their best perhaps, there may be alternative career options that could be examined.

The decision to appeal the Crown Prosecution Service’s decision to let the matter lapse was made by an officer in the Metropolitan Police, not Lovell, who no doubt acted in good faith during the process. It was not Lovell’s decision to prosecute, and he was told by his superiors to make the additional statement, which is part of the job.

The Met is having its own battles at the moment. A recent inquiry by Baroness Casey found it was institutionally racist, misogynist and homophobic.

Purely coincidentally, Kerr is partially of Indian descent, a woman and gay.

In response to the scathing report, the Met has vowed to change, saying the characteristics of “courage, empathy and respect” were now at the heart of its call for recruits.

Samantha Kerr: Likely to use Ubers in the future.Credit: Will Russell

After the second police statement, the CPS decided to lay the charge of racially aggravated harassment, nearly a year after the incident.

The CPS has a staff of nearly 7000 and, according to its annual report, has a Crown Court case load of 72,262. In the overwhelming majority it uses its own lawyers, rarely briefing outside counsel.

Its rules are clear: “King’s Counsel: The instruction of a KC is only merited where there is a significant and substantial complicating factor of gravity, sensitivity, complexity or responsibility.

“KCs should only be instructed in the most serious and complex cases. There should be no automatic assumption that a KC should be instructed in any case, even when a defendant is charged with murder.”

So the case of a drunk and lippy young woman is more complex than many murder cases.

We should remember that at no time was Kerr violent or threatening violence.

Official UK figures show there were 252,545 violent crime offences recorded in London in 2023/24 and more than 2 million violent offences in England and Wales in the same time. A handful get the KC treatment.

This means about 3 per cent of these crimes end up at the Crown Court, reserved for the most serious offences. Yet a drunken rant by Kerr ends up in courts that usually hear homicides, serious frauds and drug trafficking offences.

The razor sharp Emlyn Jones said calling a white man “white” was “plainly not as loaded” as calling a black man “black”.

“You can’t just turn it around; it is not as easy as that,” he told the jury. “But the fact remains that in the heat of the moment, it was an insult delivered in reference to race, and that is what the law prohibits.”

This is a code. It says to the jury: “Don’t use your common sense, just stick to the law that was never intended to protect a white male police officer from a harmless female soccer player.”

I defy you to find a white person who is insulted by being called white.

The Australian Human Rights Commission defines a racist remark as: “Involving negative stereotypes or prejudices about people on the basis of race, colour or ethnicity.”

The Cambridge Dictionary defines racism as: “Coming from or having the belief that people who belong to other races are not as good, intelligent, moral, etc as people who belong to your own race.”

Clearly Kerr’s comment, while ill-judged, doesn’t reach those criteria, a view supported by the jury that rightfully acquitted her, proving it was all a spectacular waste of time and money.

The Kerr prosecution has made headlines here and in Britain. There is no doubt someone decided to highlight the law with a high-profile head on a stick. It is a classic case of using a sledgehammer to crack a walnut.

It is an injustice that deserves a protest song. With apologies to Bob Dylan’s Hurricane, lyrics (with tongue firmly in cheek) by Naked City, tune by AI.

Here comes the story of Samantha Kerr
The girl authorities wanted to deter
For something that she never done
Put in a courtroom, but one time she coulda been
The champion of the world.

Meanwhile, far away in another part of town
Drunk Sam Kerr is in a cab driving around
Number one contender for the Super League crown
She has no idea what kinda shit was about to go down.

Vodka shots ring out in the barroom night
Enter Sam Kerr and she’s pretty tight

She’s in the back seat, and she’s just been ill
The cabbie says: “Oh my god, just pay the bill.”

Three in the morning they haul Samantha in
They take her to the cop shop and want her in the bin
She gets sorta loose and really arcs up
But the prosecutors say it’s just a storm in a teacup.

The cops go again – this time with the race card
When you get lippy with Scotland Yard, we’ll go twice as hard
You’ll be doing society a favour
That queen of the pitch is brave and getting braver.

We want to put her ass in stir
She’s the captain of Australia, that Sam Kerr
All of Samantha’s cards were marked in advance
The trial was a pig circus
But she took her chance.

The cop testified she was angry and gave him a fright
When Sam called him stupid and just a little bit white
But the jury saw through it and knew Sam was right.

John Silvester lifts the lid on Australia’s criminal underworld. Subscribers can sign up to receive his Naked City newsletter every Thursday.