My suburb is known for its Karens and WAGs, but we’re not all like that

My suburb, East Brighton, straddles the Nepean Highway, a stroll from the bay, just 12 kilometres south-east from Melbourne’s CBD. I can tell you about its lovely parks and schools, and how it’s popular with families and retirees but I suspect your mind is already wandering.

You are no doubt already thinking, “Oh Brayton, la de da” and about its notorious Karens, NIMBYs and designer-clad influencers with their Bentleys and Porsches.

But we’re not all like that, especially in East Brighton, which doesn’t have anything like Brighton’s Church or Bay streets – shopping strips full of luxury stores, bespoke outfitters, designer jewellers and cafes like The Pantry where all the beautiful people dine. Nor does it have an iconic spot/tourist trap like the Brighton bathing boxes.

So, whether you call it Brighton East, or East Brighton, as I prefer, you can be sure that I will always emphasise the East.

I love living here. I grew up on the other side of the highway in Moorabbin, but here I can walk to the train station, the gym, any one of a number of beautiful parks or shops. Otherwise, it’s just a quick drive to what you need. Sometimes I even go to the beach, but not too often, as I’m an old Goth and we don’t do “beach”.

East Brighton is divided by the Nepean Highway, and real estate agents are always quick to advertise if you are on the right side – obviously the “beach” side. I am yet to see an ad for the “non-beach” side of Brighton East.

Not to be outdone by Brighton, East Brighton also has its fair share of sporting identities, WAGS, influencers and minor celebrities. I’m often surprised to see who lives in the suburb and only find out when their property is advertised in Domain or I read a profile of them in a lifestyle magazine.

Some of our colourful local identities could be described as being more notorious than famous. One popular neighbour would have about 15 visitors every day, arriving at all hours, often to stay just five minutes, sometimes longer. Perhaps they were ordering a lot of Uber Eats?

It’s the simple things that make East Brighton special – good schools, the public golf course (which is proposing to build a warm water pool), the beach so close, and many nearby cafes and restaurants. Within our border, the shopping is limited but there are many options nearby. Even the old Moorabbin Bowls (now Zone Bowling) and Southland Shopping Centre are only five minutes away.

East Brighton is known especially for its parks – Little Brighton, Landcox, Hurlingham and Dendy – the latter a magnificent recreational and sporting space that hosts the Bayside Christmas Carols, bringing legends and talented reality-TV show contestants to the stage each year, and which always ends with a spectacular fireworks display.

The parks are popular with dog walkers, though you won’t find doggie bag dispensers in Landcox Park or Little Brighton Reserve. An East Brighton friend says the council has defended the decision because dogs are not permitted to be off leash in those parks. He jokes that East Brighton dogs apparently have such a high IQ that they know not to poop in an on-leash area!

East Brighton doesn’t have its own train station, but does have convenient access to two lines. So if one is down due to the inevitable maintenance works, there’s a plan B not far away. The nearby Moorabbin and Bentleigh stations on the Frankston line were originally South Brighton and East Brighton but authorities renamed them in 1907 after deciding that on top of the North, Middle and Brighton Beach stations on the Sandringham line, there were too many Brightons. Can there really be such a thing?

At the risk of sounding like a Brighton NIMBY, it’s hard not to notice how many of the traditional homes (post-war three-bedroom brick bungalows, 1960s weatherboards with ti-tree fences, even ’60s modernist homes) in East Brighton have been replaced by McMansions. With their square, sombre appearance, the new homes look a lot like mini factories. I can’t understand why so many are built without anywhere for the wheelie bins. There’s no side, given that the houses are all built boundary to boundary, so the bins are just left out in the front yard all year round like garden ornaments from hell.

Thankfully, many homes have heritage protection such as “Chevy Chase” in Were Street and Tara House in Mavis Avenue. Chevy Chase was built in 1881 and is an example of a Victorian Italianate home and even has a three-storey tower with views over the bay, while Tara House (originally Landcox House) was built in 1854 and bought by the Tara Institute of Tibetan Buddhists in 1987.

More recently, locals to our west have taken to the streets to protest against Brighton’s inclusion in the government’s new housing density zone. Here in the east, it’s just one small corner of our suburb near Moorabbin station that will be directly affected. There has been some push-back, so maybe if the authorities want everyone to get on board, they should return the station to its original name, South Brighton. There can never be enough Brightons.

Samantha Keir is a long-time East Brighton resident.