Porn, pestering and power trips: readers respond to sexual harassment survey

No workplace is safe.

That's the conclusion you'd have to draw from the stories of hundreds of workers who have responded to a Fairfax Media investigation into sexual harassment by clients.

Fast food drive-through. Local chemist. Newborn ward of a hospital. Laundromat. Art gallery. Delivery driving. Hydrotherapy pool. Butcher. Wedding venue. No workplace that involves some customer or client contact is immune – not even that refuge of the vulnerable and desperate, emergency helplines.

"Men would ring up [the crisis line] and masturbate while I provided counselling, telling me they were fantasising about me," reported respondent Susan.

"It really frustrates me that my own 'no' isn't enough." Danielle, bartender.Credit: Eddie Jim

"It's so common you are warned about sex callers in the training program – but that does not make you feel any less uncomfortable, disgusted and embarrassed when it happens."

It was the same for Lisa*, who worked night shift on her own at the end of a helpline for new or prospective parents.

"Topics ranged from questions about sex in pregnancy that quickly became pornographic (complete with masturbatory noises) or turning the conversation from breastfeeding to anal sex, to men asking in-depth questions about children's genitals."

There was at least one nasty caller per night, she said, and sometimes more harassing calls than genuine ones. "It got to the point where my stomach sank every time I heard a male voice on the phone."

Chanelle was harassed by a customer.

Sexual harassment is defined in the Sex Discrimination Act as any unwelcome sexual behaviour that makes a person feel offended, humiliated or intimidated. Five years ago, the act was amended to expressly prohibit the harassment of workers by customers and clients.

But as Fairfax Media revealed last week, there have been no legal cases and no increase in complaints to the national or state rights organisations. Discrimination lawyers say employers' and safety authorities' reluctance to tackle the issue is evidence of systemic sexism, because this is a hazard that overwhelmingly affects women.

In answers to a Fairfax Media online survey, the phrase "it happened more times than I can remember" occurred commonly, but was most often made by people working in five industries.

Among the 300 people who responded, 35 per cent experienced harassment in retail and 31 per cent in hospitality. The next most at-risk were those working in healthcare (18 per cent), education and training (16 per cent) and government services (14 per cent). The least risky were utilities, mining, agriculture, manufacturing and trade, which each received five or fewer survey responses.**

Almost a quarter of all respondents said verbal harassment by clients happened daily, and 51 per cent said it happened weekly or monthly. About 5 per cent had never experienced it.

Physical sexual harassment was experienced daily by 7 per cent of those taking part, weekly or monthly by 30 per cent, and never by 23 per cent.

About one in five respondents were men. Their stories included nurse Anthony, who said he felt sidelined and demeaned by female colleagues as well as patients: "Guys are treated like decorations or human lifting machines."

Primary school teacher "Dubz" reported being regularly propositioned by students' mothers wanting to "hook up", or saying things like "I'm going commando today", or leaning over without a bra. "When I ignore them they tell my principal that they think I'm gay and shouldn't be allowed to teach little boys."

A few female respondents thought the problem was an individual responsibility rather than an employer or social problem.

"A lot of 'harassment' cases are reported because women won't tell the guy to go away," Ruth wrote. "We need to start acting like women, not little girls who can run crying to HR if a guy asks her out."

But dozens of women said harassers routinely ignored knock backs and many thought they were entitled to leer or pester a woman in a service role.

"I have a boyfriend" is often the only thing that works, a number reported. Bartender Danielle told Fairfax Media: 'It really frustrates me that my own 'No' isn't enough; it's that they don't want to be cutting some other bloke's lunch".

Numerous women reported being stalked by clients – by a groomsman at a wedding venue where one waitressed; by a club member parking his car outside another's house; by a pack of customers waiting for a bar worker to close up.

A customer would pester Robin* at the store she worked in every Thursday, so she transferred to another. He showed up there, too. She quit, fearful he would follow her home. He tracked her down on social media so she was compelled to delete all her accounts.

"I had this uneasy feeling that I never knew if he was out there watching me," Robin said.

Strong themes emerged from the survey, suggesting there are systemic problems that enable this behaviour.

Working alone elevates the risk. Doing the "graveyard shift" at a petrol station attracted men "who liked that I was vulnerable", Jade reported. "I used to lock the door and hide in the fridges, pretending I was stocking drinks. I would only come out if someone was actually buying petrol some nights."

Such isolation can also happen in broad daylight and plain sight, as it did for 15-year-old Nina when she worked in a busy fast food drive-through.

"Guys would try it on, ask really intrusive questions and make really lewd comments and flat out refuse to move forward to collect their food at the next window until you'd given them some kind of a reaction," Nina reports. "I'd be alone and cornered in the little booth and stressed about the car waiting behind as our 'times' were constantly being measured. They seemed to know that I couldn't do anything – you can't tell the customer to f--- off – so they could essentially harass you and you had to put up with it."

Half of respondents said they found the incidents annoying, offensive or humiliating. Almost one in four said it made them feel anxious and distressed and one in five said it made them scared. A few linked it to eating disorders and suicidal thoughts.

About 12 per cent said it distracted them from their job or made them want to quit. Yet despite these obvious implications for workplace productivity, respondents said employers often dismissed the hazard as trivial or not their problem.

Half of those surveyed said they reported the harassment to managers but only 5 per cent had procedures to deal with it. Almost half said nothing happened, they were disbelieved or brushed off. Less than 3 per cent were offered short or long-term support.

A management culture that tacitly or actively excuses and supports bad behaviour was evident in many respondents' testimony: "It's hard to complain when bosses are worse," said one.

Former retail and government services worker Jess recalled an elderly man in a wheelchair who would regularly request "assistance" from a female staff member getting his wallet, which he kept under his trousers, "where he'd conveniently not wear underwear. "What bothered me as much as the harassment was that we were all just expected to help him because that's what customer service is," Jess said.

Christine is now retired but said she regular experienced sexual harassment throughout her student and working life, including as a teacher when classes of adolescent boys would reduce her to tears by sexually humiliating her. "They thought it was funny," she says.

She fears a social environment in which the incoming president of the United States has boasted of his prowess as a serial harasser. "I feel for these women [who spoke to Fairfax for last week's investigation]. I hope we can change this," Christine said. "I think this whole Trump thing has taken things backwards terribly."

* Not her real name.

** This survey was self-nominating and thus responses are useful as a sample of experiences but do not have a scientific basis.