We’re not sure if Kerrie Wehbe of Blacktown is impressed or annoyed: “What? You’ve completed the cryptic crossword (C8) in time to get a comment about it in the next day’s Column 8? At what ungodly hour are these people waking up?”
“Having read so many of Stephen Hulbert’s (C8) contributions, I think it’s time to out myself as his Year 9 and 10 English teacher,” writes Katrina Avery of Fullerton Cove. “I hope Column 8 won’t mind mentioning that, in September, there will be a reunion for those in his year and attending Kempsey High from 1975-1980. I hope to see Stephen and many of his cohort there.” Yes, Mrs Avery.
Richard Stewart of Pearl Beach likes a change: “I have just received my very first King Charles $2 coin. The King looks quite suave in his side on effigy.”
“As keeper of the household worm farm, does any reader know of a tea bag brand that still uses organic bags?” asks Graham Short of Cremorne. “Worms are not partial to synthetic bags and the less said about the abominable fruit stickers the better.”
“The Flight into Egypt (C8) reminded me of the story of Lot, who had to take his wife and flee Sodom,” says John McCartney of Mount Coolum (Qld). “Upon hearing that Lot’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt, our granddaughter asked, ‘What happened to the flea?’”
Still on grandparents, Tony Nicod of Collaroy recently overheard a woman on the beach recount the golden rules of the position: “No more than four hours, fill them full of sugar, then hand them back.”
Sometimes, a long drop (C8) isn’t long enough: “When I was in 5th Class at a one-teacher school near Cowra, I came across a snake lying in the sun which was beaming into the toilet,” recalls Robyn Lewis of Raglan. “After I nearly stepped on the snake, it slithered into the long drop. Consequently, I did not use the facility for the next two years I was at the school.”
Bill Howard of Normanhurst has the last word on condoms (C8): “Do the maths. Assuming males comprise 50 per cent of the 10,700 athletes attending the Paris Olympics and that each is in the village for, say, eight days, each male could be allocated seven of the 300,000 available condoms per day! When do they have the time or energy to compete?”
Column8@smh.com.au
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