The high price of withdrawing a bullied child from private school

Private schools are insisting parents pay a full term’s fees – up to $10,000 – if they withdraw their children because they are a victim of bullying, prompting calls for schools to relax rules if student safety is at risk.

Some schools are also demanding parents sign non-disclosure agreements to protect the school’s reputation.

The death by suicide this month of a 12-year-old girl who cited bullying in her farewell note has intensified longstanding concerns that schools and families don’t know how to respond to bullying effectively.

Parents say schools are financially penalising them when they withdraw children due to bullying. Credit: iStock

A study of more than 20 countries found Australian students were among the most exposed to bullying, with nearly one in five saying others had made fun of them, and one in 10 saying they had been deliberately excluded.

The Programme for International Student Assessment research found boys were more likely to report being threatened or mocked, and girls to report they’d been left out on purpose or been the victim of nasty rumours.

The decision to remove a child from a school can be fraught as families weigh up whether the situation is serious or intractable enough to necessitate the stress of starting somewhere new.

For private school parents, it can be complicated further by contracts stipulating a full term’s notice to withdraw a child on the basis that teachers and other costs must still be covered. This can add up to almost $10,000 and must be paid regardless of whether the student stays for that final term.

One family at a high-fee Sydney girls’ college told the school, which was aware of the bullying, that their daughter was too distressed to continue. The school insisted the family pay the term’s notice, which cost almost $9000.

When the parents protested, the school threatened to call in lawyers. “Please be advised that your debt has been handed to a third-party collection agency,” it said. “I urge you to address this matter promptly to avoid any further escalation.”

Eventually, the school agreed to accept $6500 if the parents signed a non-disclosure agreement. “The school was more concerned about protecting itself than admitting bullying,” one of the parents said, on the condition of anonymity to protect the identity of their child.

Rachael Murrihy is the director of The Kidman Centre, which specialises in youth mental health

Another parent said their child’s school had also refused to waive fees when they moved her to another private school. They had to pay for two schools at once, leaving them about $8000 out of pocket.

“Bullying has lasting effects on a child, and the quicker something is done, [the better],” the parent said, also on the condition of anonymity. “Sometimes removing them is the best option.”

Rachael Murrihy, an expert in bullying from The Kidman Centre, said the psychological safety of a child could mean parents had no choice but to send them to a different school. “In that case there should absolutely be leeway [on withdrawal fees],” she said.

“The environment is not being made safe for that child. If there’s a safety issue ... then the school shouldn’t be charging that money.”

However, the school rules should be followed if the child was not at risk, and the withdrawal was optional. “Understanding it from the school’s perspective, they probably have budgets and salaries,” she said.

Margery Evans, chief executive of the Association for Independent Schools of NSW, said rules were not set in stone. “Independent schools consider a family’s decision to withdraw their child or family on a case-by-case basis,” she said. “Families are encouraged to contact the school to discuss the situation.”

Enrolment contracts are a thorny issue at private schools. Parents often fight them, but end up paying because the cost of hiring lawyers to contest it is greater than the fee.

Many schools scrambled to change the wording of contracts to contain a fairness provision after a father mounted a successful challenge in an ACT tribunal.

He argued the school was able to change the terms of the contract – such as raise fees – without giving parents the opportunity to withdraw their child without penalty.

Support is available through Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636, Lifeline on 13 11 14, Sane on 1800 187 263, and Dolly’s Dream on 0488 881 033.