“We live in an old house with a verandah,” writes Allan Thomas of Lochinvar. “Last week, on the two days the Hunter had its earthquakes, an echidna waddled up and down the verandah before ducking underneath it. In all our years living here we had never seen an echidna. Is this a case of a seismical echidna?”
Everything is relative, according to Warren Mitchell of Mosman: “Ian McNeilly (C8) should sleep easy knowing that Twenty Four Hours from Tulsa was just a blip compared with 24 years Living Next Door to Alice, and blowing it.”
Bruce Moxon of Toongabbie was wondering if lyricist Hal David meant it as a metaphor “that the singer was somehow emotionally distant? Also, how hard is it to find San Jose? It’s on the map. Perhaps Mr David was just very poor at navigation.”
Bruce was feeling pretty pleased with this prognosis and decided to dig deeper: “Whoa! According to Google Maps, it’s 24 hours by car from Tulsa to San Jose! Coincidence?”
The tyranny of long-distance songwriting doesn’t end there: “I’m driven to despair when I hear the Ray Brown & the Whispers hit 20 Miles,” says Mark Fuller of Armidale: “This bloke walks 20 miles to see his girl and returns every day. Let’s say the average walking speed is three miles an hour, so that’s a seven-hour trip, meaning 14 hours a day walking. Throw in some sleep and it’s obvious he doesn’t have a job. So, this poor girl has a completely knackered and destitute boyfriend with worn-out shoes. Maybe he is a fitness fanatic with rich parents? Perhaps they should buy him a car? It’s all too much.”
Our good friend Helen Pitt is leaving the Herald after a more-than-40-year association with the newspaper, which even included a stint as Granny. Over the years she’s collected many curious name tags describing the organisation she works for … including The Sydney Money Earner (France), The Sydney Moaning Herald (USA) and, recently in Queensland, The Sydney Morning Harold.
“For Denis Cartledge’s sake, I hope those sausages with bamboo fibre (C8) don’t make him as slow as pandas,” says Anne Cook of Ermington. “In any way.” Peter Miniutti of Ashbury adds that he’s “not sure Denis should be buying those sausages. I’m pretty sure my undies and socks have bamboo fibre in them as well.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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