The “senseless and violent” murder of 21-year-old Lilie James inside the toilets of a Sydney school is part of a devastating pattern of violence against women that demands urgent and sustained action, a coroner has found.
The sports coach died on October 25, 2023 by blunt force head injuries sustained in the gym toilets of St Andrew’s Cathedral School in Sydney’s CBD.
Lilie James’ death was not an “isolated tragedy” but part of a “devastating pattern of violence against women”, a coroner has found.Credit: Facebook
Her murderer and colleague, 23-year-old Paul Thijssen, killed her because she had ended their brief relationship. He died several hours later either by jumping or deliberately falling off a cliff at Vaucluse in Sydney’s eastern suburbs.
NSW coroner Teresa O’Sullivan delivered her findings on Thursday, following a three-day inquest into the deaths in March.
James’ death – and the saving of other women’s lives – demanded urgent action through education, prevention and cultural change, O’Sullivan said at the NSW State Coroner’s Court.
She recommended change in seven areas, including further community education about coercive control (in particular, emerging technology-facilitated abuse); careful consideration of the use of location-sharing technology; educating 16- to 24-year-olds at universities and workplaces about domestic violence; more respectful relationship advice services for young men; and further research into how to promote healthy relationship behaviour among young men.
Lilie James’ parents, Peta and Jamie James, arrive at the Coroners Court in Lidcombe.Credit: Janie Barrett
Describing intimate partner violence as “out of character” for the perpetrator can reinforce unhelpful stereotypes, O’Sullivan said, as she recommended DV screening tools and more education reflecting the correlation between the risk of intimate partner homicide and coercive control, technology-facilitated abuse and physical stalking.
Beginning to choke up, O’Sullivan said James’ death was not an “isolated tragedy” but part of a “devastating pattern of violence against women”.
O’Sullivan found that James’ killing was planned and premeditated. Experts had described Thijssen’s decision to murder her as “punishment” for her rejection, which had triggered his fragility and low self-esteem.
Outside court, James’ father, Jamie, stood alongside his wife, Peta, as he told journalists that their daughter’s life had been “cut way too short”.
Paul Thijssen killed James because she had ended their brief relationship.Credit: LinkedIn
“Not a day goes by where we don’t think of her or wonder what we could have done to prevent this from happening,” Jamie said, as he encouraged friends, families and colleagues to talk about violence against women.
He asked people not to “report on positive comments saying people are good blokes”.
“It’s not acceptable. It’s disheartening and cruel.”
James and Thijssen were sports coach colleagues at St Andrew’s, where James worked while studying a Bachelor of Sports Management at the University of Technology Sydney.
A life “cut way too short”: Lilie James with father Jamie, mum Peta and brother Max.
The pair had a casual three-month relationship until James broke it off several days before the murder, telling an ex-boyfriend that she felt “weirded out” and unsafe with him.
Thijssen had created a fake Snapchat account to pretend that a woman was stalking him, showed friends an intimate photo of James without her consent, and obsessively monitored her movements on the social media platform Snapchat – all examples of technology-facilitated abuse.
O’Sullivan noted expert evidence that people had an opportunity to intervene and “to call him out” on that behaviour, but it has been normalised, “presenting a challenge in educating people to conceptualise these behaviours as coercive control”.
Counsel assisting the coroner, Jennifer Single, SC, told the inquest that once James ended things, Thijssen began showing “extremely concerning behaviour”, which was a “a real tipping point” that set the stage for the killing.
In the days leading up to James’ death, Thijssen physically stalked her seven times, carefully planned his attack and rehearsed it.
Throughout James’ last three days alive, she and Thijssen had several seemingly normal interactions, including getting lunch with a mutual friend. Hours later, Thijssen went to a nearby hardware store to buy a hammer, but not the one used in the killing.
On Wednesday, the day of the murder, the pair went out to buy costumes for a coming Halloween party. Later that day, a smiling and relaxed James went with Thijssen and a friend to Priceline.
In between their outings, CCTV captured Thijssen walking to a set of bathrooms next to the sports area, lunging towards the adult and disabled bathroom doors and practising the murder.
James left the school to attend a water polo game, and by the time she returned to change for her own match, Thijssen had picked up his flatmate’s hammer – the suspected murder weapon that was never found.
Once other colleagues left, Thijssen went to the bathrooms and put a cleaning sign in front of the adult bathroom.
Shortly after 7pm, he walked with a smiling James to the staffroom as she grabbed a swimming costume and followed her as she entered the disabled bathroom.
Thijssen waited at the door for two minutes, holding a hammer, before lunging inside.
The inquest heard that James would have died quickly, but her killer waited an hour and 12 minutes before leaving the bathroom. Crime scene analysis showed that he did not pace around the room. James was beaten so severely that she was unrecognisable by the police officers who found her.
Thijssen drove to Diamond Bay reserve and sat in his car before walking towards the reserve with a backpack. At 11.48pm, he called Triple Zero to tell them a body was at St Andrew’s and that “someone should just go in there before people arrive in the morning”.
He returned to his car, before heading to the cliffs to take his own life. Police arrived in the early hours of October 26 and found a backpack with a phone that was not connected to Thijssen’s Australian simcard. The other phone, along with James’, went over the cliff with him. They later found his body at the bottom of the cliff.
Experts said Thijssen had no history of mental health issues, showing only signs of potential narcissistic traits. They said he projected an image of perfection, likeability and competence to mask feelings of fragility, inadequacy and unworthiness.
Paul Thijssen jumped off a cliff face in Diamond Bay, Vaucluse, after murdering James.Credit: Nine News Sydney
O’Sullivan noted the evidence of Monash University Professor Dr Kate Fitz-Gibbon, a recognised international leading scholar in the prevention of violence against women and children.
“In [her] view, there was evidence of Paul behaving in a way that was coercive and controlling towards Lilie,” O’Sullivan said.
“[She] noted the shock that family and friends may feel in the aftermath of a horrific event like this, which they may describe as being out of character for the perpetrator. However, in her view, cases of intimate partner homicide are often planned and premeditated, and that this was the case in the present matter.”
O’Sullivan said research showed that about one in five intimate partner violence homicides involve homicide-suicide, and that it is a gendered crime almost exclusively perpetrated by a male against a current or former female partner.
Lilie James was remembered as “beautiful, independent, kind”.Credit: Facebook
While sharing many similarities with many intimate partner homicides, including it following a separation and there being no prior violence, James’ case differed in that she and Thijssen were younger, and their relationship shorter, than average. Her place of death was also unusual, as it commonly happens at home – a decision Thijssen probably made to exert control. It was nevertheless a place James was entitled to feel safe, O’Sullivan said.
O’Sullivan also noted a gap in services and supports for men aged 16-24 seeking advice about relationships. Thijssen had asked a friend if they knew of such a service the weekend before the murder.
After making her recommendations, O’Sullivan took time to talk about James.
Those who knew her called her confident, enthusiastic and dedicated, as well as engaging, calm and caring. She shared a close bond with her family and had a wide circle of friends.
O’Sullivan acknowledged her parents’ courage and strength, palpable love and grief and their heartbreak and anguish at the “senseless and violent death”.
O’Sullivan said Peta spoke powerfully about raising her daughter to be brave and strong.
“Peta’s words that we must teach boys to respect and value women’s opinions and choices and to accept rejection resonate deeply,” O’Sullivan said.
“It is my hope that Peta’s message and the lessons to be learnt from this tragedy echo beyond this courtroom and contribute to meaningful change.”
While O’Sullivan did not direct her recommendations to any particular government agency, she said a copy would be sent to various ministers’ departments and other agencies, including the NSW premier, education and early learning minister and the minister for the prevention of domestic violence and sexual assault.
National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732); Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800; Lifeline 131 114; Beyond Blue 1300 224 636.
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