‘It’s been interesting’: The awkward questions Brooke Boney gets in England

Each week, Benjamin Law asks public figures to discuss the subjects we’re told to keep private by getting them to roll a die. The numbers they land on are the topics they’re given. This week he talks to Brooke Boney. The Gamilaroi journalist, 38, has presented for Triple J, NITV, SBS, the ABC and Today, and is completing a master’s in public policy at Oxford University. Her debut book, All of It, is a collection of essays.

Brooke Boney: “I only realised when I stopped working [on Today] how much everyone talks about how you look all the time.”Credit: Louie Douvis

RELIGION

Did you grow up with religion? It’s a common misconception that all Aboriginal people are super-left or really progressive. There were always missionaries in Aboriginal communities, so in the country areas [Christian] religion is a big part of Aboriginality. My [maternal] grandparents believe in god; we weren’t allowed to say any swear words, we weren’t even allowed to say “fart”. I used to go to church with my cousin and her nan and pop and they bought me a Bible, which I still have. The things we were taught about at Sunday school – about fairness, generosity and charity – are good principles.

What do you tick now for “Religion” on the census? Oh, I don’t think I’d tick anything.

Do you feel connected to 65,000-plus years of Aboriginal spirituality? More than anything that permeates the way that I think and behave.

How so? You feel beholden to the people around you. You feel a sense of duty to the people who got you where you are. It’s not just your parents and grandparents; it’s their parents and grandparents.

To which of the seven deadly sins are you most susceptible? Probably sloth and gluttony.

You’re a very successful and busy person; you don’t seem gluttonous or slothful. But I like indulging – in really nice food and massages and beauty treatments. I really like being comfortable.

BODIES

As a young woman in the media, how much of the focus on your looks is flattering and how much annoying? It’s flattering if people are saying things that are genuine, but it is annoying sometimes, too. I only realised when I stopped working [on Today] how much everyone talks about how you look all the time. I was like, “Oh, it’s not normal to have someone say things about your face, body and clothes dozens of times a day.”

Have there been times when people have denied your Aboriginality because of your skin tone? I don’t feel the need to prove my Indigeneity to anyone: I am who I am. The things that have happened on the East Coast [such as state-sanctioned massacres and policies to “breed out” the Aboriginal race] mean there are a lot more fair-skinned blackfellas here. That’s just the truth of it. It doesn’t mean that we’re any less black. It’s been interesting being in the UK. For a lot of people around the world, their idea of what an Aboriginal person looks like would be something that they’ve seen in a movie or on a postcard. They don’t have the nuanced understanding we have here, so they ask really uncomfortable questions, the sort of stuff that you’d expect to hear in a primary school or from the ’80s or ’90s. Like, “Oh, does that mean you’re a half-caste?”

Oh, no! What do you do in those moments? You have to explain the whole context. Most of the time, it’s fine to be that generous with people who are open-hearted and genuinely curious because they don’t know. Once they know, they’re like, “Oh, my gosh, that’s so awful.” Once they learn [about colonial and Aboriginal history], they’re like, “Oh, that’s actually way more complicated than I’d anticipated.”

Do you have any tattoos? I do. It’s a yin-and-yang symbol [shows tattoo below her left shoulder blade]. I got it with my friend, Jason, who teaches me about Chinese philosophy. I was like, “This will be great! We’ll get matching tattoos because of all the Chinese philosophy you taught me.” And he was like, “Well, I’m going to get it because of [the movie] Two Hands.” [Laughs]

What’s your superpower? Working really hard – through pain and tiredness. Just keeping going.

What’s the superpower you want? To be able to sing like Ariana Grande or Mariah Carey.

SEX

If you could give your younger self a pep talk about boys, relationships and sexual politics, what would you say? I look at what’s available now to young women and young men – [consent educator] Chanel Contos is in my cohort at Oxford – and the things they’re doing are just so impressive. I wish we’d had access to that sort of thing [consent education, which is now mandatory in all Australian schools from kindergarten]. Obviously, women need to be safe, but men are liberated, too, by being able to clearly express themselves and ask for things. If we’re oppressed, then they’re oppressed. If young men are unknowingly doing things that are wrong or that hurt other people, it’s better for them to know about it.

What kind of guys do you find attractive? Men who are smart and kind. I don’t have a physical type, although I do like tall men. I know this is bad because it’s conforming to [social expectations], but if I’m taller than my partner, I’d feel like, “Come on, little guy … let me cook you some dinner and put you to bed.” So I like men who are tall, smart and kind.

Are there any of those in Oxford? Oh, the place is littered with them.

Say someone wants to impress you romantically. What do they need to do? I really like romance. Flowers, going out for dinner, poems and letters.

All flowers? Even gerberas? Oh, especially gerberas. They’re coming back into fashion, you know.

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