I said, ‘You know my conditions are genetic?’ He said, ‘That’s OK’

In 2012, NewsRadio presenter Thomas Oriti, 37, and Nas Campanella, 34, the ABC’s national disability affairs reporter, met at the ABC’s Bega bureau in NSW. Their first three dinner dates included Nas’s mum.

Thomas Oriti says of Nas Campanella: “When you’re in a relationship with someone who’s blind, it’s the world of the unknown.”Credit: Wolter Peeters

Nas: I met Tom when I started my year-long placement in Bega. My parents and I went to the ABC bureau there to check things out and he showed us around. He was incredibly bubbly and friendly and nice. As we left, Dad said, “Well, he’s a lovely guy” and Mum said, “Yes. And even though he’s in a regional area, he’s still wearing a button-up shirt.” She thought that was great, even though he had no shoes on. Socks, but no shoes.

He was just a lovely person: very easy to talk to, very relaxed. My first work day, he offered to drive me home. I absolutely could’ve walked, but I thought, “Oh, that’d be nice.” Being Italian, Mum asked him in for dinner, but then she was embarrassed because it was just something she’d whipped up, so he had to come back the next night for homemade pasta and fresh sugo. He came for dinner three nights that week.

Being with him always felt totally natural; there was never any anxiety or worry. We love all the same things: food, music, family, discovering the world. We’ve been to 40 countries together: once we were both back in Sydney, we’d save up and just go off with our backpacks for six or seven weeks. Tom has great curiosity about the world, he’s a wonderful listener and he’s incredibly intelligent. He’s very enthusiastic: there’s very little he won’t try once, which I love. He’s also very loud. My friends and I often say he’s the loudest quiet talker ever. He thinks he’s whispering, but he’s really not.

I’d always thought it’d be nice to get married, but I never thought I’d have kids; to be honest, I just didn’t think I’d find someone who wanted to have them with me. But with Tom, we never had to discuss it. I told him, “You know my conditions are genetic?” [Campanella is blind and has Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease, which causes damage to the peripheral nerves and prevents her reading Braille.] And he said, “Yes, that’s OK.” That acceptance felt really special.

‘We’re a real team. He takes the time to explain things to me – like how to make formula for Lachie – watch me do it, then give feedback.’

Nas Campanella

I also said, “I don’t want to spend ridiculous amounts of money on a wedding and then not have anywhere to live: don’t propose until we’ve bought a place!” The day we put an offer in on our apartment, we were packing the car to go back to Bega for a holiday. I left his backpack out by the car and, suddenly, he was in a panic. I couldn’t understand it. Then, as we were leaving, we got the call to say our offer had been accepted – and that afternoon he proposed. The ring was in his backpack.

We’re a real team. He takes the time to explain things to me – like how to make formula for Lachie [their son, who’s nearly two] – watch me do it, then give feedback. That’s such a great skill. He never steps in or takes over; he lets me be independent. The one thing I wish I could change about him? I wish he wouldn’t lie on the display pillows on the bed! I hate it – he lies right on top of them! He does it whenever I’m not in the house. He tries to rearrange them, but I always know.

Thomas: The very first moment I saw Nas, her mother was holding her hand and guiding her index finger to the door panel, to punch in the code for the Bega ABC office. Even in that first moment, she was figuring out how to do things herself. That’s one of the things I love about her: her fierce independence, her dogged determination to prove her detractors wrong.

Nas, Thomas and son Lachie: “Learning to be parents has been our biggest challenge,” says Thomas. “How does she know how much she’s feeding Lachie? How does she work the pram with her cane?”Credit: Courtesy of Thomas Oriti

So many people have told her “No”: “No, we can’t employ you”, “No, you can’t be on TV”, “No, you can’t read a live radio-news broadcast.” In fact, she’s thought to be the first blind person in the world to read a live-news broadcast [via audio relay] – I was operating the studio desk the day she did it. It was an amazing moment.

Getting to know her was a steep learning curve. I’d be there, using every word in my vocabulary to describe things; to make sure she was experiencing what I was experiencing – then she’d suddenly say to a farmer, “Can I touch that bull?” I was a sighted person and I didn’t want to touch that bull! She’d always add something extra to the experience.

Within months of us meeting, Nas went on a trip – on her own – to Russia! She planned it, booked it, got on the plane and left. Oh my god. Our whole relationship has been an exercise in trust: trust in her, and in the fact that everything’s going to be OK. When you’re in a relationship with someone who’s blind, it’s the world of the unknown.

She’s just incredibly capable in every way. And there was never a time when I had any doubts about being with her. From the get-go, it was just clear and lovely. Nas has given me so much more than I’ve given her. Honestly, I’m not trying to sound sappy. Love, compassion, family. And toughness. She’s very, very tough – although she does doubt herself at times. But she has a remarkable ability to just block out the noise and get on with it.

The amount she achieves is extraordinary. She does four or five speaking events a week; she’s an incredible mum, a beautiful writer, a full-time journalist. She created her disability affairs round: she pitched it to the managing director and head of news. That’s her passion.

‘Our whole relationship has been an exercise in trust: trust in her, and in the fact that everything’s going to be OK.’

Thomas Oriti

For me, learning to be parents has been our biggest challenge: how does she know how much she’s feeding Lachie? How does she work the pram with her cane? How does she hold a toddler with her muscle condition? The neuropathy makes lifting him hard. But it’s also been so joyful. The first time Lachie said, “Mummy”, Nas cried – this little human she had created and held and loved for a year, saying her word. Actually, I think I cried, too.

The thing about Nas and I is that if we have an argument – and of course we do – there’s no storming out. We have to verbalise the issue; be brutally honest; work it out. And also, when we’re out and about, no matter what, we’re linked: arm to arm. So we’re always physically and emotionally close. That strengthens us.

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