Ditch the downlights: How you light a room says a lot about who you are

For reasons that remain a mystery to me, I recently made the mistake of allowing a local real estate agent to visit my apartment to do a valuation. He’s a nice enough guy, but as with most real estate agents, everything about him made me uncomfortable: the teeth, the hair, the incredibly tight suit.

He arrived at 5pm wearing shoes without socks, and it took all my strength not to pretend we were one of those no-shoes-in-the-house places to see if he would feel weird about going barefoot. Unfortunately, I never got the chance because he strolled in, surveyed the living room and turned to me with disappointment: “Why are you sitting in darkness?”

Let there be light! But not too much. Less is more when it comes to getting the right light.Credit: Michael Howard

Without asking, he walked around the apartment, switching on every light until it felt like I was about to be raided – or operated on. “See?” He said. Sweating under the glow of a thousand bulbs. “Much better!”

For what it’s worth, I wasn’t sitting in darkness; instead, I was appropriately lit by two tasteful lamps, which provided just the right amount of light and shade. Working in harmony with the room’s natural light, the lamps created an atmosphere that was relaxing, pleasant, and warm – all things the real estate agent wasn’t.

Admittedly, this is not the first time I have found myself defending the right to good light. Having spent my twenties bouncing between share houses, I realised people are split into two distinct groups: those who appreciate ambience and those who don’t.

A former flatmate of mine was never happy unless the entire house was humming with light. Most nights of the week, he ate the same dinner – sausages on white bread – under the harsh glow of fluorescent downlights. When pressed on why he was so opposed to a warmer option, he declared lamps “made him feel depressed”.

Ironically, countless studies have shown spending time in warm light improves emotional well-being, whereas too much artificial light can spike cortisol levels, making us more anxious and stressed.

No doubt, there are also studies that prove eating sausages five times a week can make you feel pretty sad, but each to their own.

To make matters worse, my wife and her entire family are big fans of stadium lighting in any situation; no catchup is complete without seeing one another’s pores.

Every visit to our place is preceded by the same series of questions: Why is it so dark in here? Why aren’t the lights on? Are they broken? Should we turn them on? We’re going to turn them on.

My brother-in-law is so offended by what he calls “our weird mood lighting” that whenever he comes over, he does an excruciating Bane impression from the Batman film The Dark Knight Rises. “I was born in the darkness, moulded by it.”

Make it stop. The Big Light is a crime against good times.Credit: Screenshot

Annoyingly, he is not far off, given that my predisposition for mood lighting is likely due to being raised in the shadows. Growing up, nothing upset my father more than lights being left on around the house, specifically The Big Light.

For those unfamiliar, The Big Light refers to the dominant overhead ceiling light in any room, specifically designed to evoke feelings of hopelessness. Should he walk into a well-lit but empty room of an evening, there would be hell to pay and a lecture to endure.

According to him, The Big Light should only be used in emergencies, like if the TV remote goes missing or someone spills a drink.

Otherwise, it should remain off in favour of a single lamp – house rules. While his concern was more about electricity bills, it instilled a generational fear of what too much light might mean for everyone’s well-being.

Eventually, this fear evolved into a more genuine belief that less is more; for vibes to go up, the lights must go down.

In fact, when considering the evidence, very few situations in life are improved by the addition of intense lighting. Dancing, eating, drinking, and having sex are all activities that thrive in low-light conditions. There is a reason that you hear a collective groan when the lights come on at a nightclub. It signals the illusion is shattered, fun times are over, and all that remains is sweat and regret.

Speaking of regret, after 20 minutes of listening to the real estate agent suggest improvements to the sad, dark apartment (Two words, my man: drop ceiling!), I resolved never to move or risk going through this again.

On the way out, we shook his hands, his eyes drifting towards the light switch. “Do you want me to flick this off?” No, it’s OK, leave it. We could all use a little more light in our lives.

Find more of the author’s work here. Email him at [e-mail] or follow him on Instagram at @thomasalexandermitchell and on Twitter @_thmitchell. Find out the next TV, streaming series and movies to add to your must-sees. Get The Watchlist delivered every Thursday.