The nation said No. So what do I say to my kids?

The debate over an Indigenous Voice, and particularly the past 14 months since Prime Minister Anthony Albanese revealed draft wording of the referendum question, has been a challenging time in my household.

As millions of Australians cast their vote on Saturday, my concern was how I’d explain the nation’s decision to my kids if the Voice was rejected.

Matt GoldingCredit: Matt Golding

I am now faced with this reality. What do I say? What comes next?

My children’s school and kindergarten this year optimistically and proudly embraced a Yes position. As one of the few Aboriginal parents, I was encouraged by and proud of their early stance. It signalled the community cared about Aboriginal people and their right to not only have a say, but to speak up.

However, when support for the Voice dipped and from April dramatically slid in the polls, as a parent, I found myself increasingly concerned.

As the referendum date drew closer, my kids – like other primary school-aged kids all over the country – couldn’t comprehend how a No vote could even be a thing.

Our kids already face daily negative representations and social prejudices in relation to their Aboriginality. The No result threatens to contribute to that. I fear it will knock the wind out their self-esteem and have a detrimental effect on their sense of wellbeing.

A No vote tells my kids, who are proudly Birpai, that the world surrounding them doesn’t want them in it, or care what they have to say. It’s a rejection of them.

Beyond our household, First Nations people generally have felt the strain and anguish of a public discourse that became increasingly charged in the past six months.

The campaign rapidly deteriorated into a toxic atmosphere around April after federal Opposition Leader Peter Dutton made it clear he would actively oppose the Voice, asserting that the Voice referendum would “re-racialise” Australia.

Dutton; his spokeswoman for Indigenous Australians, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price; and a potful of No campaigners led by Nyunggai Warren Mundine did their best to achieve this dangerous vision of a racially divided Australian public.

As racist hate and abuse aimed at Aboriginal people intensified, so did our levels of anxiety.

In May, this masthead reported that the eSafety Commission had experienced a 10 per cent increase in the proportion of complaints about abuse, threats and harassment of First Nations peoples online. A spokesperson for the commission predicted – accurately, from the experiences relayed to me by many Aboriginal people – that the targeting of Indigenous people online would increase as the referendum date approached.

While the atmosphere was horrific in online spaces, more concerning was how the toxic behaviour spilled out into our real-world neighbourhoods. Speaking with other parents, they told of how they had repeatedly had to replace Yes signs posted on their fences and pegged in their front yards. Some said they watched as strangers passing by their homes tore them down. Yes signs were defaced, painted over as though to completely erase the idea from the landscape.

Nira illim bulluk man Marcus Stewart speaking after the referendum result was announced on Saturday night.Credit: Luis Enrique Ascui

At my youngest child’s kindergarten, Yes signs posted inside the main gates were repeatedly ripped down. When the kids replaced them, the signs would get ripped away again. What kind of resentment does it take for a passerby to rip away a child’s positivity?

Elsewhere, Aboriginal people reported copping abuse in the street for wearing Aboriginal-flag colours and Yes T-shirts, while Aboriginal youth organisations across the country reported receiving racially abusive emails, even death threats.

Marjorie Anderson, national manager of 13 Yarn, an online support service for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Australians, said that from March to June this year, the service had witnessed a 108 per cent rise in callers reporting abuse, racism and trauma as a driver of distress compared with the same period last year.

“The vitriol with the whole debate has been really nasty and poisonous and racist. They’ve thought it’s OK to be racist to Aboriginal people and on social media. It’s been appalling,” she said last week.

Some schools began considering ways to shield their students from the harmful environment. The Melbourne Indigenous Transition School (MITS), a school and boarding program for Indigenous students from remote and regional communities in the Northern Territory and Victoria, put in-house counselling programs in place. Its students were also offered the opportunity to get away from Melbourne and spend time on Country in the past week, while staff will be able to take additional leave now the campaign is over.

MITS chair Liz Tudor urged people to think of the result from the perspective of its students and families.

“MITS has sought to amplify the voices of our First Nations staff, families and particularly, our students – who emphatically support the Yes case. Imagine how it would feel for our families to wake up the morning after a No outcome,” she said on Friday.

Similarly, universities have offered special leave provisions for Indigenous and Torres Strait Islander students and staff feeling the strain of the campaign.

This backlash against what was for the most disadvantaged peoples in the country a modest proposition of hope and aspiration conveyed a tangible threat of violence to Aboriginal people – and all for attempting to make change, for challenging the way Australia sees itself.

As the resounding No result became clear early on Saturday night, I received a slew of messages and calls from Aboriginal people distressed by Australia’s decision.

For my children, family and I, the next few weeks will be about restoring our sense of wellbeing. We will do this by connecting with loved ones and Country. This will be a common purpose among First Nations people as we digest the result.

Jack Latimore is The Age’s Indigenous affairs reporter.

If you need support you can call 13 Yarn on 13 92 76.

Get the day’s breaking news, entertainment ideas and a long read to enjoy. Sign up to receive our Evening Edition newsletter.