Strangulation during sex has been ‘mainstreamed’ but risks brain damage, experts warn

Strangulation during sex has become so common that young people are being led to believe it is a safe and normal part of intimacy, but many are unaware of its serious dangers, from permanent brain injury to accidental death.

Experts warn regular depictions of “sexual choking” on free pornography sites and in popular culture has led to the mainstreaming of the practice. However, they say there is no safe way to engage in it.

Consent advocate Chanel Contos is among those warning that young people have been led to believe “choking” is safe, even though it is considered a warning sign of homicide by family violence experts.

“Strangulation in sex used to be a niche kink thing, now it’s just like definitely mainstream, not out of the ordinary,” said Contos, director of the Australia Institute’s Centre for Sex & Gender Equality.

“In my age group [mid-20s] and below, it’s considered quite normal ... there is research proving it’s not safe in any form, it’s becoming quite strange that men want to do that to women.”

Chanel Contos, director of the Australia Institute Centre for Sex & Gender Equality, said sexual choking is a trend occurring “en masse”.Credit: Rhett Wyman

The practice made headlines last month when Sri Lankan cricketer Danushka Gunathilaka, 31, was charged with four counts of sexual intercourse without consent and repeatedly choking a woman he allegedly met on Tinder while his team was in Sydney for the T20 world cup.

Court documents recorded that during the alleged assault the woman was left “fearing for her life” due to choking and that she required a brain scan. Gunathilaka is yet to submit a plea in relation to the charges.

Sexual safety educator Maree Crabbe, who co-founded the advocacy group It’s Time We Talked, is preparing an education campaign on “what is colloquially known as choking”.

She said young people tell her the practice is common, but many are unaware that it is impossible to do without risk.

Maree Crabbe is one of many experts warning non-fatal strangulation during sex has been normalised and is putting young people’s lives at risk.Credit: Eddie Jim

“Strangulation was a theme that came out really strongly in our most recent round of interviews,” Crabbe said.

“Young people speak about ‘choking’, external pressure to the throat, being so incredibly mainstream that its almost vanilla now, that it’s considered to be a normal part of a sexual interaction. But it’s very gendered: it’s largely men doing it to women.”

There is often no discussion of consent, she said, “which was of particular concern to young people”.

“There’s a huge chasm between what young people are doing and what medical experts are saying.”

National sexuality educator and researcher, Maree Crabbe

“In my interviews with medical experts, they’ve confirmed there is no safe way to do it and even with their level of expertise they could not [perform it and] determine whether there’s going to be long-standing damage or death.

“There’s a huge chasm between what young people are doing and what medical experts are saying.”

Having noted the prevalence of non-lethal strangulation, the Victorian Institute of Forensic Medicine and Bendigo Community Health Service will soon launch a national awareness campaign.

It will emphasise that, despite the potential for delayed harm, only 9 per cent of women who have experienced strangulation report it to hospital staff.

Health worker Megan Bagnall, who helped develop the campaign, said women who have had airflow cut off by neck pressure can develop acquired brain injury, memory loss and delayed stroke, among other conditions.

Crabbe said a 2022 study of 4989 American college students, published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, found 58 per cent of women had been choked during sex and one-quarter of women were first choked by age 17, findings that reflect similar trends in Australia.

Lauren Callaway the Victoria Police assistant commissioner in charge of the family violence command said non-consensual strangulation during sex is assault and “no matter how long it goes for, strangulation can seriously impact a victim’s health and mental health”.

She said specialist police are committed to investigating reports and that, “everyone in our community has a right to meet new people or start a relationship without fear of being pressured, degraded or assaulted”.

Non-lethal strangulation without consent is a stand-alone offence in New South Wales, Queensland, South Australia and the ACT.

A spokesperson for the Victorian government said its promise to create a stand-alone offence for it would be delivered but “to ensure we get these laws right, targeted consultation with legal and family violence stakeholders” was still under way.

Melbourne University law professor Heather Douglas researches strangulation and family violence and is running a pilot survey about the prevalence of “choking” during sex before rolling out a national study.

“I’ve had students come to speak with me about how disturbed they are about what their friends are putting up with and what they can do to educate friends. Not just on strangulation but other activities such as spitting on and punching partners,” Douglas said.

In November, guidelines for GPs who may see victims of non-lethal strangulation were published by the Australian Journal of General Practice.

Kate Wright, chair of Sexual Assault Services Victoria, said it was seen commonly during “casual hookups”.

“Young people are saying, ‘I thought it was normal’, young men are saying, ‘I thought she wanted me to do it’; it’s pretty alarming that it’s such a common behaviour. I don’t think either person understands how fatal or impactful that can be,” she said.

Hayley Foster of Fullstop Australia said school students are “literally eyes-wide-open when they realise there is no safe level [of choking] and what can actually happen is delayed brain damage”.

“Young people are shocked to the core when we speak to them; usually we’re speaking to them in year 10, and it’s way too late, this has already been happening,” she said.

If you or anyone you know needs support, you can contact the National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service on 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 131 114, or Beyond Blue 1300 224 636. The men’s referral service is on 1300 766 491.

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