Dicey Topics: Rufus Wainwright talks on sex, religion and politics

Each week, Benjamin Law asks public figures to discuss the subjects we're told to keep private by getting them to roll a die. The numbers they land on are the topics they're given.

This week he talks to Rufus Wainwright. The 45-year-old American-Canadian singer-songwriter has recorded seven studio albums and written two operas.

Rufus Wainwright.Credit: Getty Images

SEX

Your husband Jörn says that before him, you'd never had a relationship for longer than four weeks.

Well I'd had several infatuations – some of them lasted a few years – but I wouldn't call them bona fide relationships. I was in love with some pretty crazy guys, but when I met Jörn, it was the real good ol'-fashioned thing.

You met Jörn in your late 20s. Why did you not have a more serious relationship before him?

I came out to myself incredibly young, when I was 13. And I would go out and experiment. I was a bit of a Lolita-type character in Montreal. That got a little dark: I was molested in London's Hyde Park, which propelled me into celibacy for a few years. But once I had time to recover, I got back on the horse, and went off to the races again for most of my early 20s.

When did you come out to your parents?

They kind of got wind of it by the time I was 13. However, I didn't come out to them until I was 18. I wouldn't say either of them had a fantastic reaction. They harboured a lot of homophobic bullshit they inherited – and subscribed to, to a certain degree. So I'm mad about that. I think they were incredibly frightened for my safety, too [because of AIDS], which is understandable. My parents [singer-songwriters Kate McGarrigle and Loudon Wainwright III] could've done a little better, but they did the best they could.

If you could go back as adult Rufus and talk to the pre-teen Rufus about sex, what would you say?

I wouldn't change anything. But I do remember always feeling ugly and unattractive and uninteresting, and now I think, "That's idiotic. You were gorgeous and fabulous." But that always seems to be the case. Youth is wasted on the young. [Laughs] Now I think I'm fantastic.

What do you find sexiest about your husband?

My husband is very, very tall. And everything is … proportionate. But the sexiest thing about my husband is he's an old-fashioned cuddler.

And what's the sexiest thing about you?

Well, even though I have a little bit of a fungus situation on a couple of my toes that I have to take care of, I have very beautiful feet.

RELIGION

Did you grow up religious?

I was never baptised, and we weren't part of any church, but my mother had me and my sister [singer-songwriter Martha Wainwright] raised Catholic. She wasn't practising necessarily, but our upbringing was affected by her lapsed Catholicism. I'm not anti-Catholic, but I do feel when monotheism took over – Christianity, Judaism, Islam – that it's the worst thing that ever happened in the world. I'm a pagan.

Practising pagan or a cultural pagan?

Well, mother nature is crying out, obviously, and needs some appeasement. [Laughs] And pagan worship? It's worked in the past.

When were you last in a church, synagogue or mosque?

I do love churches, in terms of the architecture. The issue for me is not so much the church, but more what's going on behind the church.

When was the last time you prayed?

It's been a few years since my mother died, but I find myself invoking her protection, spirit and love. I believe our ancestors – and their goodness – are still roaming the atmosphere, and that one can use that. If I'm doing a show and I'm playing a particularly difficult piece where I fear I'm going to miss a note or f… up on the piano, I always invoke her. And I find I succeed. She's there.

What's your personal version of hell?

Certain parts of Florida. [Laughs]

POLITICS

You're a dual citizen of the US and Canada. Do you vote in both countries?

If I lived in Canada, I'd vote there, but I live in the US, so I only vote here.

Did you vote in the 2018 mid-term elections?

Yes, I was proactive and intent on being part of that process. We didn't get everything we wanted, but a real shift occurred.

What are your three biggest issues as you vote?

Environmental concerns. You in Australia are certainly in the thick of it. In California, we're feeling the brunt of it, too. A close second is gun control, and Australia is a perfect example of how that can work. And women's rights. The Supreme Court should all be women. Why not? It was all men for so long; let's make it all women for a while. Guys have had their turn. It's worth another perspective.

It's been over a decade since Going to a Town, your protest song about the George W. Bush presidency and the Iraq War. Does that song take on different dimensions and relevance when you play it now?

That song is chillingly relevant these days. My tour is focused on my first two albums, but Going to a Town [from a later album] is the one song I bring back. I love America, I adore America, but it's important to keep criticising it to keep loving it.

You're a dad to a seven-year-old daughter. What do you want to change about US politics for her?

I'm desperately hoping there's a woman on the ticket in the next election, whether it's for president or vice-president. That's very much for her.

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Rufus Wainwright will be touring Australia throughout February.

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