The phrase ‘holding space’ has gone viral. But what does it mean?

The Wicked press tour has brought us many bizarre and entertaining moments. But one in particular has taken off, reaching viral heights and generating endless memes.

Sitting down with Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo last month, US journalist Tracy E. Gilchrist asked the film’s leads how it felt to see audiences react to the musical’s iconic song, Defying Gravity.

Holding space for each other: the stars of Wicked, Ariana Grande (left) and Cynthia Erivo.Credit: Getty Images

“I’ve seen this week people are taking the lyrics of Defying Gravity and really holding space with that and feeling power in that,” she said, prompting a sincere reaction from Erivo and Grande.

While this exchange has shot “holding space” into mainstream discourse, it’s not a new term.

Where does the term “holding space” come from?

When The New York Times asked Gilchrist, the journalist behind the viral moment, what the phrase meant to her, she said: “When I hold space for something, it means I take a beat. I pay attention. I come into myself rather than scrolling on my phone or being outward with something … It can be something profound, or it can be something silly.”

While it’s difficult to trace its origins, Canadian writer Heather Plett has been talking about the concept for more than a decade in the context of conflict resolution and personal boundaries. It can also be traced back to English psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott and his 20th-century writings about a “holding environment” for mother and babies – in other words, safe spaces.

What does it mean to hold space?

Dr Sarah Ashton, a psychologist and director of Ships Psychology in Melbourne, says while people have been applying the term to things such as songs, holding space is a way of relating to someone else.

“It means holding a non-judgmental presence with another person [by] showing empathy, actively listening, providing emotional safety and allowing a person to process what they’re experiencing.”

While holding space can occur between any two people, it’s often used to describe the specific relationship between a therapist and their patient.

“A psychologist is trained to put their reactions aside to be present with the other person so they are not alone in their experience,” she says.

Ashton believes that holding space can be a salve for our increasingly fragmented and fast-paced society.

“It’s really important for our relationships and our world right now, especially when there are really complex and difficult things going on.”

To hold space for the people in our life, Ashton says we first need to understand our own emotions and remember that connecting with others is a process in which we all make mistakes.

“Ultimately, we all want to be connected to each other … and that involves vulnerability and building trust.”

“Any interpersonal dynamic is a collaborative process of creating connection and safety. So we might not always get it right, [but] the answer isn’t to retract and pull away.”

Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.