The Hollywood-ification of humdrum relationship terms continues

Emma Watson is not single. Nor is she in a relationship: the 29-year-old actress has this week declared that she is "self-partnered". And lo, just as Gwyneth Paltrow rebranded "divorce" as "conscious uncoupling", the Hollywood-ification of humdrum relationship terms continues.

Emma Watson says she isn't single, she's 'self-partnered'.Credit: AP

In an interview with British Vogue, the UN Goodwill Ambassador said that she never used to believe in what she called the "'I'm happy single' spiel", where people profess not to be looking for a relationship and maintain they are happy alone. But now, approaching her 30th birthday, she has finally embraced it. "It took me a long time, but I'm very happy [being single]," she said. "I call it being self-partnered."

Her phrase of choice has, naturally, raised eyebrows on social media: "If she's self-partnered, what happens when she enters a relationship?" asked one Twitter user. "Is she going to cheat on herself or practice bigamy?" Another revised much-loved romcoms for the self-partnered age, including When Sally Met Sally and Breakfast For One at Tiffany's.

As someone who is the same age as Watson, and also single – or rather, "self-partnered" – I fully agree with the sentiment she's expressing; if you haven't made a home, got a husband or had a baby, and the big 30 is looming on the horizon, "there's just this incredible amount of anxiety". So to finally get to a place where you're actually enjoying being single – especially in the run-up to an age where you're supposed to have things all figured out – is definitely something to celebrate. The only problem is that most people won't believe you.

The idea of a single woman being a tragic, desperate Bridget Jones-type is so deeply entrenched that it's near-impossible to reveal you're unattached without people giving you a sympathetic look, a shoulder pat, or consoling you that "it'll happen soon". Even if you choose to be single and explain that you are happy, they assume it's a front for the 1950s housewife ambitions you harbour within. It's an issue men don't have.

For them, being single is associated with a glamorous, fun bachelor lifestyle; a single man is envied, not pitied.

So while we mock the term "self-partnered", it's no wonder Watson wanted to rebrand her relationship status. For her, the term conveys that she's quite happy being a single successful actress, model and activist – even if she doesn't have a plus-one. Hers isn't a phrase I'll be using, at least not with a straight face, but I must admit to concocting a few of my own equivalents.

A couple of years ago, when I was taking a break from dating and very much didn't want to be in a relationship, I decided upon "actively single". I always said it in a slightly jokey way – I was aware that it was a bit ridiculous – but it did stop people asking me how dating was going. Instead of fixating on what they perceived to be a man-shaped hole in my life, they wanted to know what on earth I was talking about.

The Telegraph, London