‘She never, ever, called me Illy’: The rapper on the women who have influenced his life

Illy is a musician best known for his hit single Papercuts. Here, the 39-year-old shares his gran’s feelings towards his name, the one woman who made him stop dressing like a teen and why he always tells his mum he loves her.

Illy on his first relationship: “That was the first time I got upset and sad over a girl, but definitely not the last.”

My maternal grandmother, Margaret, was quintessentially British: she was of her generation. She’d been through the war and had high standards of etiquette.

After my grandfather died, she moved from the UK to Perth, where my uncle lived. She’d come and stay with us in Melbourne, so towards the end of my teenage years I spent more time with her. My gran was stern, but I knew she loved my younger sister, Stephanie, and me unconditionally.

It took my gran a while to warm to the idea of her grandson being a rapper; she never, ever, called me Illy [real name Alasdair Murray]. She died in 2017. She never got to see me play, which sucks.

My mum, Rosemary, is the kindest, most resilient person I’ve met. She is a retired speech pathologist who has spent her life helping people. Mum is tougher than she gives herself credit for. She’s overcome cancer and various health issues and has done so with grace and poise.

I wrote the song Am Yours about her 2010 cancer diagnosis. I have this thing where I always play the first pressed CD of my albums with Mum and Dad. But with 2013’s Cinematic, I explained I’d had the tune Am Yours for more than a year and that I couldn’t listen to it in the same room as them; it would be too emotional. So I went for a drive and when I returned they were a mess. It was a beautiful thing, but it would have been too much for us to listen to the song together.

I tell Mum I love her whenever I’m with her and when I’m leaving. I was always sure she was going to make it through cancer, but I didn’t want to leave anything unsaid. Mum is the most important person in my life.

My first celebrity crushes were Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears. They were beautiful and talented. I’m sure that most 10-year-old boys felt the same way.

I didn’t have a proper long-term relationship until my 20s. I had girlfriends at high school; one played up on me with an acquaintance. That was the first time I got upset and sad over a girl, but definitely not the last.

I’ve been in a long-term relationship with my girlfriend, Kirsty, for almost five years. She is both aspirational and motivated, which is hugely attractive. She is also gorgeous and caring. Kirsty has her own fashion label, Boskemper. She got me out of dressing like a 16-year-old skater (finally).

Music and fashion are tough industries in which to work for yourself and to follow your own vision. The lockdowns were difficult for us both. I wouldn’t have been able to get through them without Kirsty’s support and guidance. She’s an old soul who listens to ’70s rock, but somehow manages to find qualities in an Australian rapper.

The way I write songs, the registers and subject matter lend themselves to a female voice. For my new LP, Good Life, I recorded the single Kids with Tones (of Tones And I). She is one of the greats, both as a friend and as a person. Tones comes from Melbourne’s south-east, where I grew up, so we have that shared experience. She is one of the most authentic people I’ve met and success hasn’t changed her one bit.

When we were on the same record label, I’d been told she was a fan. I surprised her at her 2018 Platypus shoe store performance in Sydney. Our first photo together was in the storeroom among a bunch of Air Max shoes.

In 2019, we both played at the Spilt Milk festival. She asked if I wanted to go into the studio; I said, “Sure.” The following week she played a hook and asked what I thought. I said, “That’s it!” Tones is crazy talented and a very genuine and special person. We have always been close.

Illy’s LP, Good Life, is released on November 15.

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