Of all social media platforms, I hated Facebook the most. Then I fell pregnant

“Did anyone hear that noise?” If you’re not active on Facebook, there’s a good chance this phrase will mean nothing to you. But for users of the social media platform, variations of this question are commonplace – usually bright red text atop a patterned background, a cartoon of a woman waving in the corner.

Once a genuine question from nosy neighbours wanting to know about a backfiring car or nearby construction site, the post now serves as an in-joke among those who recognise the pitfalls of social media alongside the reward of online community groups.

The very thing that once drove me away from the platform soon became the things I craved the most throughout my first trimester.Credit: iStock

These specific Facebook groups are usually a motley crew of stalwart community heroes (or anti-heroes), new-to-the-area voices and serial lurkers, and can be both a blessing and a burden. Blessing: finding out the council is introducing compost bins. Burden: the unsolicited stream of photos showing maggots growing in bins two weeks later.

It is this exact plague of useless posts that led me away from Facebook over the past few years. By mid-2020, my entire feed was consumed by them, with nothing I used the platform for ever getting a look in.

Why did I return in October last year? Quite simply, I fell pregnant and Google wasn’t cutting it. Sure, the search engine gave me answers to any question imaginable, but what I began to crave almost immediately in those early weeks of my first trimester was connection. I wanted to be able to say “All I can eat right now is baked potato, anyone else?” and know other women might be sharing my experience.

Enter: due date Facebook community groups. A friend told me that every month of the year had a corresponding pregnancy group, where women are brought together by when their babies are scheduled to arrive. I found mine for June 2025 – a global group with around 1000 members when I joined, which became an instant lifeline. As I lay on the couch stuffing myself with ice cubes, I felt less alone when I saw a pregnant woman in Nevada was doing the same thing.

The group took the edge off what was a lonely, anxiety-riddled time. Collectively, this international group of strangers with one shared commonality faced our first ultrasound appointments, we commiserated with those who suffered losses, and rejoiced with those expecting twins.

We also whinge a lot. It’s a safe space to complain multiple times a day with people who completely understand each other.

But, as is the way with Facebook, there is always a “but”. As the group grew to more than 7000 members, so too did the number of annoying posts. For every curious question, there was a four-paragraph response to whether someone’s husband is in the wrong for refusing to do a 2am drive to McDonald’s. And with a significant portion of the group being American, the rise in anti-vaccine misinformation tied to the “Make America Healthy Again” movement has also been noticeable.

There are community guidelines, and group administrators intervene in more serious breaches such as medical advice, whether by removing comments or interrupting a heated discussion to remind members of the rules. But given they are just regular expecting parents like the rest of us, posts and comments fall through the cracks.

For many people, there is no topic more divisive than how you’ll manage your pregnancy or raise your children. I scroll past posts that aren’t aligned with my personal beliefs, so in this way, it’s not dissimilar to what you might encounter in a real-life mother’s group, or any other corner of Facebook. Of course, I steer clear of seeking medical advice. When I’m concerned about a symptom, I reach out to my hospital midwife or GP – when I want to voice my fears about childbirth, I share with the group.

But that’s the confounding thing about community groups. They can be frustrating and concerning places. The June 2025 Babies Due group isn’t the online oasis it was during my first trimester, but with almost four months left to go, there is still treasure to be found among the trash.

Serving as a makeshift virtual mother’s group, this place helps women navigate all aspects of the antenatal journey, not just the part where you have the baby and don’t know what to do with it. And on the days when pregnancy has me feeling low, I still find myself gravitating towards it. The support is still there, even if you do have to scroll past some MAHA posts to get it.

Melissa Mason is a freelance writer and podcaster based in Sydney.

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