It seemed a simple kiss on TV after the game, but it crossed a boundary

Now, this may reveal me as either a crusty old wowser or someone who needs to dust off her post-feminist feminism, which is why I’m turning it over to you. Kissing at work: cool and contemporary, or a major crossing of boundaries? Discuss.

For context, let’s rewind to last Friday when AFL commentator Abbey Holmes interviewed Lachie Neale post-match for Channel Seven. In the Lions’ win over the Doggies, Neale had run himself into the ground so much that puffs of steam rose from his head.

Brisbane player Lachie Neale leans in to give Channel 7 reporter Abbey Holmes a kiss at Marvel Stadium last Friday.Credit: Seven

Until the end, the simmering genie illusion was the most unusual bit of the interview. Prepared as ever, Holmes asked about the Brisbane midfield, praised Neale’s 38 disposals. But when things wrapped up, there was a micro-second of hesitation from the dual Brownlow medallist.

Neale leaned into Holmes. She reacted by snaking her arm around his waist. He returned the favour. She leaned in too, slightly, and they kissed each other on the cheek.

The interaction was fast and not ick, but it was weird enough for my husband and I to say, “wait, what?” This was rare, TV talent kissing or being kissed as a sign-off. You have to go back to Bec Judd swerving from Tony Jones’ attempted smooch in 2016 after her last news bulletin.

On footy broadcasts, Hodgie isn’t pashing anyone. More broadly, Alicia Loxley isn’t kissing Tom Steinfort at the end of Nine News. My husband shrugged: “I reckon Abs and Lachie are mates.”

Maybe. Still, even if they’re besties 4 eva, when they’re both at work is it a good look to be saying hasta manana with a kiss? For mine, it was too familiar. Place and time, people. You’re drawing a wage from this chat so keep it classy, San Diego.

Intrigued, I watched the kiss again a couple of times. Neither party seemed uncomfortable. The incident hasn’t made waves in the media or on socials. But at a time when former Spanish soccer federation president Luis Rubiales is facing a sexual assault trial for his creepy unsolicited kiss on World Cup winner Jenni Hermoso, I think it’s worth asking the kiss question.

Specifically, if a kiss – even an innocent, joyous one – shifts the focus from a woman’s job and talents to their personal boundaries. If it raises the question about whether they have the power and will to protect those boundaries, or have to laugh it off to save face, maybe save their job.

A simple kiss. But is it the right idea for a workplace environment?Credit: Seven News

While Holmes looked fine with the reciprocated smooch, I wonder if she flashed ahead to what her boss would say and what the audience would think: A guy just kissed me on air. Crap. Just as Mel McLaughlin ploughed on and later said she was uncomfortable when repugnant cricketer Chris Gayle told her “don’t blush baby” and asked her for a drink on air in 2016.

The power dynamics in Holmes’ world are already skewed. Yeah, she’s on telly, has an established career, holds some cards. But in her role, is there pressure to maintain a positive rapport with players for continued access that could lead to a reluctance to call out inappropriate behaviour?

Hello, cycle of discomfort, blurring of boundaries and the message that public displays of affection towards women at work means we are objects of affection. In Holmes’ case, maybe other players now think they should casually kiss her too.

Confusingly, I feel if a male player got kissy with a male host during an adieu, it would be kind of adorable. Bros showing their sensitive side. So now I also have double standards that need to be worked through.

I ring a media mate who says remote working has changed dynamics. She recently embraced her company’s female GM of legal when they met IRL in a lift.

“Often you’re on projects with people and talk to them every day but don’t meet in person for a year. Then shaking hands feels weird, so you end up going, “We should bring it in.”

Even if Holmes gave the kiss no second thought, networks and AFL clubs should give their troops a half-time speech: kissing on air is out of bounds. It’s 2024, not a 1970s Christmas party with a handsy boss handing out Brandivinos and murmuring your Prince Matchabelli smells great.

Kate Halfpenny is the founder of Bad Mother Media.

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