I kept a colleague’s secret. Now my boss is angry and ignoring me

Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in advice column “Got a Minute?” This week: a workplace altercation, long service leave, and jaded colleagues.

Illustration by Dionne GainCredit:

A few months ago a co-worker spoke to me in strict confidence about an altercation with a manager. I advised her to call our direct manager and advise him of what had happened, which she did the next morning. Our direct manager then called me in with the HR manager, and I was grilled over why I did not alert them as soon as the co-worker had called me. I said she had made it clear that it was to be confidential, she just needed to talk to someone first to get her thoughts together. Since then, my HR manager and direct manager have ignored me, not included me in work emails or meetings and have gone out of their way to make me feel unwanted in the team. I have done nothing wrong, but they are making me feel like I should resign. I feel like talking to the CEO, but it may create more waves.

It sounds like there are a few issues going on here that are not clear from your letter. Depending on the nature of your work and the seriousness of the altercation – including whether any laws had been broken – your managers may have had a reasonable expectation that you would notify them immediately. You were put in a difficult position,but one that does happen from time to time.

Rather than go straight to the CEO, why not ask to meet the HR manager and your manager and let them know how you are feeling. I would go to the meeting with genuine curiosity about why they seem angry or disappointed with you. Ask them for their advice on what to do if this situation ever comes up again and explain to them how you felt you were doing the right thing by your colleague at the time. I would explain you have never been in this situation before and were not aware they expected a different response. Let them know you want to remain in the organisation and put this behind you, and that you would appreciate their assistance in doing so.

I’ve been working for an organisation for more than 20 years, at first very part-time and without any formal agreement apart from regular invoicing of my hours and trust. I then had a contract for several years and finally was appointed to permanent staff, still part-time. Am I entitled to long service leave? I am the only person working in my role.

On the face of it, you will be entitled to long service leave even with your mixed status of contract and part-time work. You should ask HR to calculate your entitlements so you know where you stand. The fact that you are the only person working in your role is irrelevant. It is difficult to give advice without knowing what state you work in (since each state has slightly different arrangements) but if you contact the Fair Work Ombudsman they will be able to give you advice as well.

I manage a team that does outstanding and critical work. I’m a new manager for them. They still eulogise the previous manager and complain about resourcing issues. All areas of the business are under-resourced, and there is no possible relief in the short- or midterm. Unfortunately, the team are jaded. I’ve done a lot to promote our unit and its achievements, with recognition and acknowledgment at senior leadership levels. I’d appreciate any strategies to lift team spirits.

Rather than guess what you think your team would value and what would raise their spirits, why not ask them? This sounds like an opportunity to get everyone together so they can air their grievances and come up with solutions together. I wouldn’t shy away from the facts – no additional resources are coming – but then put out the challenge for you to work together to find the best way forward. Your team will know better than anyone what is going to help, and an open discussion will let them know you care about what they say. You might also want to speak to key influencers in the team first; tell them what you plan to do and ask for support in thinking of solutions they can raise during the session.

To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask (you will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited).

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