Good Weekend letters to the editor: May 13

Danielle Alvarez’s tomato and basil risotto.Credit: Instagram/@madam_godzilla

Good Weekend

Congratulations on a superb issue [May 6]. I always make a point of reading Editor’s Letter, and I enjoy Modern Guru. Although a keen reader, theatre and movie-goer, I am a technophobe (and not proud of it) so Upfront helps keep me abreast of the rest of the world. I enjoy Two of Us. I was fortunate to hear Nicole Abadee speak recently and enjoy her pieces as well. Above all, Greg Callaghan’s Mr Invisible had me laughing (“humourless windbags ... blowhard hustlers”) and resonated powerfully, as a mother of a soon-to-be 50-year-old. He is a psychologist and lawyer who is celebrating his half-century with a solo motorbike journey in Europe (but not Paris, Berlin etc). I will give him Greg’s piece when I say farewell next Monday.
Adele Swain
Cremorne, NSW

Face to Face

Matt Nable’s face tells many stories [May 6] and they aren’t all happy ones. Matt’s adventurous lifestyle has taken him to the edge and back and now as he deals with his brother’s devastating MND diagnosis, he’s unprepared for the difficult journey ahead. Speaking openly about his mental health issues is courageous, and as Thomas Keneally said, shows his “can-do attitude”. Let’s hope there will be many more happy stories for Matt to chase.
Judith Caine
Donvale, VIC

Thank you, Garry Maddox, for your inspirational article on Matt Nable. He’s an extraordinary man and I feel you conveyed his story well. Should you be talking to him, please pass on the best wishes of this one person who admires him and his work. Inspirational!
Terry Quinn

The Invisible Man

I just need to compliment your article [May 6] and say I am impressed with its empathy, in-depth understanding and clarity around the issues for ageing men and men generally. Thank you and can you advocate that this be a basis for studies in Social Work at the University of Melbourne.
Timothy McCarthy
Eltham, VIC

This was a brilliant piece - so much of it resonated with me, particularly seeing my wife have more meaningful ‘face to face’ friendships, while I tend not to. I absolutely agree that the gender divide and in many ways discriminatory era of 50 to 60 years ago, when a man knew his place and had his place, is no model to try to return to. This article will help so many men like me realise that we are not alone in the way we are feeling but that our place in life is being remade by societal trends. Only if we pay attention to what society is trying to tell us, and if we look to reach out to communities, will we find connectedness. Feminism seeks to go further than to just make rules affecting gender fair, and to create a level playing field. Increasingly it will seek to tilt the bias in favour of women to address the age-old suppression of female potential. This is not unreasonable, but men will need to chart a course within this that allows them to thrive without domination.
Robert Lotric
Camberwell, VIC

I am 80. I’ve spent my life avoiding close friendships and a group of males was never an idea I was interested in. I quite like my solitude and self-sufficiency and always have. I’ve been married nearly 40 years and my wife has a good social network. I have maybe four friends, including a brother and a cousin. I’m not lonely and do not expect to ever be. As for suicide over 85, why is anyone surprised? I’m surprised that it’s not more frequent. I have no intention of being a burden on anyone and hopefully if that happens, I can arrange things for a clean finish. It was interesting, nonetheless, a look at a different mindset for me.
Jeff Cole

Thank you for an article that taps into an immensely current, unspoken but essential issue for men. The article gave new heart to a theme and core idea I’ve developed over the past several years. It might find relevance against the sheer bullshit of what it takes to be a man. We’re all human but men and women are different, and my generation was conditioned to be the good father and provider. We were born with a testosterone-fuelled form that diminishes as we age. Several years ago I wrote a stage play called A Blow to the Head about the impact of the king-hit (coward’s punch) on an urban father. There was absolute silence at the end and I worried I’d written a dud. What followed was an amazing hour-long debate about the causes of violence in men.
David O’Brien
Potts Point, NSW

The Quiz

I saw in this weekend’s The Quiz [May 6] that I was the answer for question No. 25: Name the fifth Wiggle ... That’s cool! You give the quizmaster who asked the question as Maddie Koolstra from Victoria. Should I have said: “That’s Kool?” Please thank Maddie for the remembrance. So nice!
Phillip Wilcher
Concord, NSW

Phillip Wilcher, the fifth Wiggle.

Modern Guru

Of the many, many laughs you have given me, this week’s [May 6, about being greeted with “darl” and “love”] caused so much early morning laughter and chortling that I snorted my coffee out of my nose. My stinging nasal passages salute you for your excellence and the joy you bring. Thank you, darl.
Anne Harrison
Umina Beach, NSW

The Empty Plate

I really enjoyed Terry Durack’s column this week [May 6]. Eggs are a subject dear to my heart, and one of the things it seems rare for people not to have preferences about. When I was small, I would only eat the egg yolks. Fortunately, I had a brother who would only eat the whites. (I would occasionally submit to Mum’s method of chopping up a hard-boiled egg with butter and salt and pepper in a teacup, but it wasn’t my preference.) Nowadays, I still only eat the yolks, on lavishly buttered white bread toast.
Tricia Dearborn

Exposure

Rachel Mounsey’s daughter, Valerie. Credit: Rachel Mounsey

There was something about Rachel Mounsey’s stunning photograph [May 6] of three-year-old Valerie, long red dress flowing, striding through the long grass and looking defiantly but confidently at the camera and I kept coming back to it. I knew that look. I’d seen it on the face of my granddaughters, also outdoor country kids. The future is in good hands.
Ray Peck
Hawthorn, VIC

The Pilot Pen gift pack.

READER PRIZE The winner of the best letter each week in May will win a Pilot Pen gift pack, featuring a Pilot MR3 Retro Pop Fountain Pen and matching ballpoint, and a bottle of hana-ikada (cherry blossom petals) Iroshizuku ink. RRP $123. pilotpen.com.au. The winner for May 6 was Rick Grounds of Vermont South, Vic.

Want to chat? We’d love to hear from you. Send your letters to goodweekend@​goodweekend.com.au. Or send us a picture or Instagram one of Good Weekend in your life, using the hashtag #goodweekendmag.

To read more from Good Weekend magazine, visit our page at The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age and Brisbane Times.