Family game night made me realise I have more in common with the royals than I thought

Watching the bucolic scenes of familial bliss and intergenerational card games being played around a kitchen table portrayed in the Princess of Wales’ recent cancer-free announcement video, you’d be forgiven for thinking the Middleton family was royally harmonious.

But according to Kate’s younger brother, James, the footage is bunkum. In an extract from his upcoming book, Meet Ella, the youngest Middleton set the record straight and exposed the Middletons for who they truly are … highly competitive game players.

Kensington Palace released a video featuring Prince William, Princess Catherine and their children enjoying idyllic family activities, including playing cards with their grandparents.Credit: Kensington Palace

So barbarically competitive in fact, the former personalised marshmallow and cake-making entrepreneur revealed that his brother-in-law, Prince William, would often take James’ dog, Ella, for a walk when his wife sat down to play cards with her family.

“William would flinch at our ruthless determination to win at all costs. He’d be delighted to be the first out, and when no longer compelled to take part, he’d slink off to cuddle Ella … Better still, he’d absent himself from the game entirely. ‘James, does Ella need a walk?’ he’d ask before we’d even started dealing the cards,” the younger Middleton writes.

“My sisters and I would exchange a knowing glance. William, for all the competitive rigour of his military training, was happy to be a loser at cards.”

In pop culture, look at Monica and Ross Geller from Friends, whose sibling rivalry to one-up the other in any task, game or life milestone, was often at the centre of plot lines. From the Geller Cup – an intense and very physical family football competition – to wrestling matches that Monica insists they take up again when Ross says he’s too strong for her to beat him as adults, the siblings are always ready to play each other to the death.

The truth is, we all know a family like the Middletons. One so flinch-inducing and gangbusters about winning at all costs that nothing will impede their dedication to don the symbolic crown of card or board game champion.

Not only do I know one of these families; I’m in one.

Whether it’s a game of Snap with my nephews, Scrabble with my 75-year-old granny, or an all-in, family game of Monopoly, every member of the Hendley Clan is in it to win it and still-developing (or declining) skills and abilities will not be accommodated for – at least not in a way that may adversely impact our ability to win.

While not every family is like mine or the Middletons, competitiveness while playing any activity or game where winning is an option, is incredibly common says Dr Rebecca Ray, a clinical psychologist and author.

“Family games often stir up a sense of competition because everyone wants to win, and in a family setting, that desire can be even stronger,” Ray says, adding that for some families it is more common than others, especially if your family has a playful or competitive streak.

Ray also says how people behave during a game often mirrors real-life dynamics.

“You might see sibling rivalry play out, or notice how certain family members handle winning and losing. It’s a snapshot of everyone’s personalities – some are more laid-back, while others might take the game very seriously.”

My competitiveness emerged early in life, during primary school – AKA the peak Uno years.

I still remember relishing games against my great aunt Dot, a woman in her late 80s with failing eyesight that meant she struggled to differentiate between the green and blue cards. In my young mind, this was an advantage to be used in my gameplay. Thankfully, Dot was a much better person than I and found this amusing.

Now, nearly 40, I have become comfortable in my morally and ethically questionable competitive gameplay. But because my own children and husband are also this way inclined, “family game night” isn’t as kosher as it was with Aunty Dot, instead, it’s more akin to a gladiator pit, where only the winner emerges alive.

In our most recent bout, Battle de la Scattergories, a brutal scene took place when my youngest daughter stormed off in frustration after not being able to think of a tool beginning with y; my eldest daughter argued with me about why “a Yamaha tool kit” should be counted as a tool rather than a brand; and after coming last, my husband declared: “This is the worst game ever. I’m never playing it again!”

As the winner, though, I emerged from the linguistic arena alive and triumphant, anointing myself Scattergories Queen. The Middletons, I’m sure, would be royally impressed.

Shona Hendley is a freelance writer based in Victoria.

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