Dear fellow pedestrians, keep to the left, you drongos

I’m not a fan of these lazy left and right labels that get bandied around.

But when I’m walking along the footpath, I’m a firm lefty. Keep to the left as best as you can unless you’re overtaking or there is some impediment.

I’m not sure if it is me, or something I’ve noticed more since the lockdowns, but people seem increasingly oblivious to this idea.

Pedestrians seemingly no longer keep to the left.Credit: Chris Hopkins

The other day as I made my way down the Paris end of Collins Street to a show, I was met with a throng of “meanderthals” all heading towards me on what is a comparatively wide street.

They had plenty of room to walk to their left. I had to come to a standstill or sideswipe a shopfront. It’s a small thing, but in a chain of small things, from not being able to get a seat on public transport because someone has their backpack on it, listening to people rabbit on in crowded places while they conduct a video call and not being able to get off a tram before people board, it just adds up.

A day earlier in my local swimming pool, I steadfastly stuck to the left lane and stifled the urge to remind a woman of the etiquette when she headed menacingly towards me on the wrong side of the black line like it was a watery game of chicken. I didn’t want to sound churlish. It was the slow lane, so we weren’t vying for last-minute selection into the Olympics. But if it were the fast lane, there may have been cross words – they’re very serious over there.

Sharing escalators and stairs at railway stations and in department stores is another challenge where I am struck by the number of people two and three abreast and entwined in public displays of affection that I might find cute if I wasn’t trying to get past them to catch a train.

I don’t recall being drilled in walking etiquette. It was just an unspoken rule and when I shifted to the big smoke decades ago, I fell into formation with people walking orderly down the street. When did everyone start walking around like the proverbial Brown’s cows?

It’s easy as we age to dismiss ourselves as “invisible”, but people of all ages with dodgy knees and less obvious ailments can’t so easily accommodate sudden directional changes as people weave in and out. Spare a thought for the elderly, people living with disabilities, the pregnant and the sight-impaired amid this free for all.

I asked one of my kids who goes to university in the city if she thinks it’s a generational thing. She doesn’t think it is and says while she tends to keep to the left sometimes you just must barge through, or you aren’t getting anywhere on time. “Survival of the fittest, Mum” she advised.

It goes hand in hand with common courtesy that doesn’t seem all that common these days. Keep your dog on a short leash, don’t bash into people with your backpack or trolley, be considerate of people carrying something heavy and give them space, if you must jog through busy streets maybe don’t go getting up in people’s grill. But my pet hate: stop using your dirty shoes to press the pedestrian crossing button. Gross.

A decade ago, walking etiquette was the subject of a City of Melbourne campaign. The council commissioned a report that led to discussions that partly blamed foreign visitors and international students for the sway to the middle and right. The Share Our Streets campaign saw actors with giant phones wandering the streets pretending not to pay attention to where they were going. Cards were handed out with tips, including advising cyclists to give way to pedestrians and for those on foot to keep left.

One person making a submission suggested painting keep left arrows on the footpath, but this was discounted. The feeling was that this could lead to increased conflict.

It’s only gotten worse as people meander around with noise-cancelling headphones, eyes glued to phones. Is it bad manners, plain ignorance or a lack of spatial awareness?

Britz Campervans tells its renters, coming from countries where they drive on the right, to keep left. “In Australia, we drive on the left, but we also walk on the left. Avoid running into oncoming foot traffic and stick left,” it says on its website.

Insider Guides, an international student online resource, declares: “When stopping on an escalator, or walking up stairs, always stick to the left and don’t block other people from passing you by resting your hand on the right-side railing. Equally, when walking on the sidewalk, try to stick to the left where possible.”

MoveHub, an international relocation platform for people moving overseas, advises those Aussie-bound to stay left on the road and the footpath.

“Unless you’re overtaking on an escalator, keep left. It’s not a crime to walk on the right, but people will think you’re an idiot,” it advises.

I’m not sure about being an idiot but in the interests of making our streets less of a jungle, maybe it’s time to revisit that campaign. For starters, a “keep left” announcement at the airport and on services taking you into town, followed by an influencer campaign on TikTok.

It might be enough, so long as there isn’t a pile on from Sky News types who don’t want to be told what to do and get triggered by any mention of the word left.

Claire Heaney is a Melbourne writer.

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