Can’t stay calm on the sidelines at your kid’s game? Here, have a lollipop

It doesn’t take much scrolling through Google to find incidents of abuse – both verbal and physical – at children’s weekend sports games. In April this year, five adults, including three men and two women, were charged after a fight allegedly broke out at an under-7s football tournament in Sydney’s south-west.

The following month, a 46-year-old Perth father was charged after he allegedly grabbed an 11-year-old boy by the neck during a junior football match. And in February 2024, an under-16 girls’ basketball game in Melbourne’s Reservoir ended in a sideline brawl involving parents from both sides.

Team manager of Hurlstone Park Wanderers FC under-9s Catherine Field (left) and coach Cara Wood with Catherine’s son Jack (left) and Cara’s son Coen practising at their home ground in Sydney.Credit: Dylan Coker

While these may be extreme examples, research has shown that unsupportive comments on the sideline can affect a child’s behaviour and their enjoyment of the game.

A study released last year by the University of South Australia revealed children were aware of their parents’ poor behaviour. It found 69 per cent of 12- to 17-year-olds surveyed reported some negative sideline behaviour from their parents, with 17 per cent reporting their parents sometimes, or very often, yelled at the referee during the game.

More concerning is that the same behaviour seemed to be modelled in their children, says Alyson Crozier, a senior lecturer at the university.

“What we found on the positive side was that, when these athletes perceive that their parents engaged in more positive behaviour, such as cheering them on and clapping, then they were more likely to also engage in positive behaviour towards their teammates and their opponents,” Crozier says.

“On the flipside, we saw the same thing; when athletes reported that their parents engaged in more of these negative behaviours, like yelling from the sidelines at the coach, players or umpires, coaching from the sidelines and showing frustration, then athletes also reported engaging in more anti-social behaviours.

“While we found negative behaviour wasn’t reported as often as positive behaviour, it’s a concerning finding.”

In many parts of Australia sporting clubs have had to come up with creative ways to get parents to behave on the sidelines. The Sunshine Coast Netball Association has armed their young umpires with white flags to signal if they are experiencing disrespect on the court. The move was introduced in 2024 after a 14-year-old umpire was verbally abused by an adult coach.

And Queensland Rugby League introduced bright green socks for their under-age referees to remind parents that “if the socks are green, they are under 18”.

Research shows that the behaviour of parents on the sidelines is reflected by players on the field.Credit: Getty Images

In junior AFL, umpires can now use a three-phase white card system where free kicks and penalties can be awarded to the opposing team in real time when “unacceptable behaviour” is demonstrated within the “immediate vicinity” of the coaching box.

Junior sporting clubs have tried banning parents and hiring security guards on game days. The NSW government has floated the idea of life bans for violent spectators not just from the league where they misbehave, but across all levels, which could create a situation where a parent acting violently at their child’s Saturday morning rugby league game is banned from attending NRL matches.

The state is currently running a case management system pilot, which will be used to develop recommendations for a future system to be rolled out across all sports.

“This landmark pilot will enable sports to collate, manage and review sport integrity incidents, investigations, policy breaches and sanctions, including things like — for example — abuse hurled from the sidelines,” a government spokesperson said.

Melbourne sports lawyer Paul Horvath is not surprised by any of these stories; generally by the time a case involving disputing parents gets to him, it’s an extreme example.

Horvath, who specialises in sports-related disputes for clubs and individuals, says it’s difficult for clubs to enforce punishments such as bans when children’s sports are played at open access fields.

“I had a case in Sydney about 10 or 12 years ago where the parent handled the referee, made physical contact, and there was a lengthy ban on that particular person attending and they wanted to dispute the ban, so I assisted them with an appeal,” he says.

“The way they were able to impose the ban in that particular sport was that the sport hired the stadium where the sport was played, and when that happens they can ban the parents themselves.

“Sometimes … suspending the parents doesn’t have much impact. So the way some of the sports I’ve seen do it is that the ban is applied to the child. It’s the only way they can rein those parents in.”

Terry Wong, the coaching co-ordinator at the Hurlstone Park Wanderers Football Club in Sydney took the NSW government’s Shoosh For Kids campaign – which encourages positive sideline behaviour through visible on-field messaging across all sports – and signed on for Silent Sidelines.

Road-tested in 2019, Silent Sidelines was relaunched this year and encourages parents on the sidelines to be completely quiet, and those who think that may be too difficult a task are given a lollipop to suck on.

“We tried to take the messaging to the extreme just one or two weekends of the season as a real awareness raiser,” says Wong, who has three children of his own.

“The idea is not to have a completely silent sideline all season, it’s more about making parents aware of how they behave on the sidelines, then we pull back and transition into our Supportive Sidelines campaign.”

The supportive culture at Hurlstone Park attracted Cara and Emma Wood when they were looking for a new club for their nine-year-old son, whose team Cara coached.

Cara Wood with her son Coen, 9, and his teammate Jack, 8.Credit: Dylan Coker

“Last year during an under-8 game, there was quite a bit of heckling and swearing from the sidelines directed at one particular player and about five minutes before the end of the game he snapped, being too worn down by the pressure,” says Cara.

“He lashed out and went to kick another child. The other team’s coach made a beeline for me, towering over me with another parent joining in. I signalled for us to move away from the kids.

“I emailed my club about the incident and didn’t get a response. Reality is, there are many factors that affect the culture of a club and the ability for kids to just be safe on the field. So we finished the season and moved to Hurlstone Park and it’s a much more positive environment.”

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