‘I’m free to be who I am’: Why this life stage is not the horror story you’ve been told
Yola Armstrong describes herself as “unapologetically menopausal”.
The 56-year-old mother-of-two from Melbourne says, when she started experiencing symptoms, her instinct was to hide or minimise them. But moving into a male-dominated workplace just as her symptoms were worsening forced her to practise a kind of radical acceptance – openly, and vocally, embracing what was happening to her.
“I just decided, ‘No, you know what, this is normal,’ ” she says. “I wanted to try and embrace it, and whatever was happening in the moment, I wasn’t going to hide it like perhaps we would [in the past] with, say, shoving your [sanitary] pad up your sleeve. So I have been known to walk around the office with a handheld fan, or I say to people, ‘Oh, hang on a minute, I just need a moment because I’m having a hot flush.’ ”
Yola Armstrong decided to embrace menopause, normalising the symptoms as a natural part of life.Credit: Eddie Jim
If you’re a woman of a certain age, you’ve probably been hearing a lot about menopause. Either with a “peri” attached to it, or simply on its own, menopause seems to be the hot (flush) topic right now.
As Gen X and older Millennials hit this stage in their lives, many are speaking up and out about how it affects them, particularly on social media, where the algorithm rewards and promotes any content that taps into identities (and fears) that are ripe for profit.
And while women sharing their experiences and advocating for their health will always be a good thing, the ubiquity of the topic – not to mention that profit-friendly fearmongering – can feel a little overwhelming.
It doesn’t help that there is much variation out there. Take the timing. In Australia, the average age for menopause – that is, 12 months after your last period – is 51, but it’s considered “normal” anywhere between the ages of 45 and 55 (and, of course, can occur outside that range too). Perimenopause, meanwhile, is the time leading up to that last period, when your ovaries begin to run out of eggs and your hormone levels fluctuate. The average length of perimenopause is four to six years, but it can last anywhere from one to 10.
With the changes in hormones come a range of symptoms. While a small percentage of people will experience few or none, 80 per cent of those in perimenopause will be impacted by at least some symptoms, with 20 per cent being severely impacted. And those symptoms are wide-ranging – not just hot flushes, night sweats and irregular periods, but joint and muscle pain, fatigue, brain fog, mood swings and mood disorders, insomnia, headaches and migraines, and even changes to your skin, hair, breasts, weight, sex drive and how often you pee.
While many women experience a fall in their sex drive, for others it will increase. Weight gain is often commonly reported, but a recent study noted that one in five women will also see an increase in breast size.
In short, it seems as though it can affect just about every aspect of your life. Before that sends you into panic mode, experts advise that, while being informed is important, there is really no need to be overly concerned.
“What’s that saying? ‘Be alert but not alarmed,’ ” says Dr Sonia Davison, endocrinologist lead at the Jean Hailes for Women’s Health organisation. Perimenopause and menopause are certainly not without their challenges, but Davison is quick to point out it’s not necessarily all bad. Post menopause offers freedom from periods and the issues they can bring with them, not least of which is the risk of unwanted pregnancy.
Marita Long, Victorian director of the Australasian Menopause Society, agrees that “this can be a very liberating time for women”. She adds that the key to awareness of perimenopause is not to be fearful, but rather empowered – and to seek help if you need it.
Empowering others is at the forefront of why many perimenopausal and menopausal people are being so vocal about their experiences.
Awareness around perimenopause and menopause is important not just for people experiencing it, but also for those around them. Rather than looking on it with dread, you could look to preparing for when it does finally arrive.
“I don’t think we want women to be fearful of this transition, but we want them to be equipped to think of this as a time to set up a healthy life,” says Long, adding that menopause is “inevitable” but that the symptoms are “very treatable”.
Davison says that before reaching perimenopause – or even if you’re in the midst of it – it’s a positive step, if you haven’t already, to establish healthy lifestyle habits such as regular exercise and sleep hygiene, which will help to manage some of the symptoms you may face. It’s also a good idea to ensure your GP has an interest in women’s health – or, if not, to find one who specialises in the area. Searching the Australasian Menopause Society database of doctors can be a useful place to start.
Being prepared in this way can set you up for the smoothest possible transition through perimenopause and menopause, and staying informed will enable you to advocate for yourself if you need to. While it can be daunting, there’s also solidarity to be found with others who are experiencing it – whether they be real life friends, or someone making memes in your Instagram feed.
For Yola Armstrong, going through menopause has made her more confident and secure in herself, caring much less about what others think. “I’m free to be who I am. I feel more empowered to do that. I’m 56, and I still have a lot to give and a lot to offer.”
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