We went to primary school together: Yael Stone on reconnecting with her fiancé

Yael Stone is an actor best known for playing Lorna in Orange Is the New Black. The 37-year-old opens up about why she doesn’t see a relationship ending as a failure, her fiancé, and her crush on Heartbreak High’s Drazic.

My paternal grandfather, Tom, worked as a steelworker until he was 76. That influenced the work I do now. I run a not-for-profit organisation that provides opportunities for steel and coal workers who want to train in renewables. I saw the pride in Tom’s identity as a steelworker.

“Jack has inspired me to change the way I think about work. The socially conscious part of me has blossomed thanks to him.”Credit: Alex Vaughan

My earliest memory of Dad [Harry] is being slung over his shoulder as he tried to put me to sleep in the middle of the night. I can still remember the fabric of his pyjamas and chewing on his shoulder. Dad has always been the type of guy who is nurturing and willing to do the long hours.

Dad was born in 1946 in [then] Czechoslovakia. He is the child of Holocaust survivors who migrated to Sydney, aged three, on a boat.

He became an architect, which was seen as a very artsy thing to do for a man of his generation.

Dad always talked to me on his level and had a genuine interest in our conversations. We debated a lot when I was growing up and still do. He always listened and challenged me.

My mum, Judy, was raised Catholic. It was considered outrageous for Dad to go out with someone who wasn’t Jewish. Mum went through a full conversion to marry him. They lived in Israel on a kibbutz in the ’70s and have been together for 56 years.

My dad’s adopted father in Australia, Mischa Stone, was a Russian man who spoke to me in Yiddish, Russian and English all mixed together. He died at 96. Dad was very tender with Mischa, right until the end.

I am the youngest of three children. My brother Jake was in a band called Bluejuice and would tour a lot in the early 2000s. He played in front of crowds of 10,000 people at festivals and I would watch him climb the scaffolding and do crazy things. Jake inspired me to extend myself to places that are uncomfortable on stage and in front of the camera. He showed me what it is to be a true artist.

I loved Drazic in the original series of Heartbreak High. He was a bad-boy rebel for our generation. I got to work with the actor who played him, Callan Mulvey, and he is the loveliest guy. To fulfil that teenage crush was pretty weird. We got to be vampire enemies together on a new series, Firebite.

My first boyfriend and I dated for four years when I was 17. He was a sensitive and thoughtful person. We met at the NSW State Drama Company and travelled to London to perform – that’s when the romance kicked off.

I don’t see a relationship ending as a failure. I was married and divorced [to actor Dan Spielman, 2012-17] and have dealt with the mistakes I made and the heartache that comes with any relationship breakdown. Life is an adventure and I am still learning.

My fiancé, Jack Manning Bancroft, and I went to primary school together. His mother is artist Bronwyn Bancroft. We reconnected in New York, where I was making Orange Is the New Black and he was about to launch the organisation AIME [Australian Indigenous Mentoring Experience] globally.

Jack and I have two children together. Pemau, aged 4½, is named after his maternal grandmother, and Marli, three months, after my maternal grandmother. Ours is a dynamic relationship. We’ve been together for seven years and we do plan to marry, but we got busy having children!

Jack has inspired me to change the way I think about work. The socially conscious part of me has blossomed thanks to him. He has instilled in me a belief that I have something to give.

Yael Stone is the founding director of the not-for-profit organisation Hi Neighbour.

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