The ‘ho-ho-hoiest’ Christmas special of the year? It’s Sabrina Carpenter’s, surely

A Nonsense Christmas with Sabrina Carpenter
★★★★
Netflix

This year, Sabrina Carpenter experienced what might be the oddest career glow-up yet in pop. Aided by an opening slot on Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, a bunch of ribald Nonsense outros that went viral, and a pair of inescapable, chart-dominating hits in Espresso and Please, Please, Please, she became a sudden breakout success with her sixth (!) album, Short n’ Sweet – a release that’s still churning out songs like Taste, Bed Chem, Juno and other unobjectionable jams you might find playing at your local Uniqlo.

Let’s all have a delightfully sexy Christmas with pop’s newest megastar, shall we?Credit: Parrish Lewis/Netflix

For a singer who until last year was best known to most as the other woman in Olivia Rodrigo’s Drivers License love triangle, her transformation from an Ariana Grande knock-off to a bona fide pop superstar has been impressive. That she’s done it all with a weird ’50s sexpot persona that’s part tradwife, part Kelly Bundy – particularly in an era where post-Swiftian authenticity has become paramount to pop success – feels like a miracle.

It’s little surprise then that the bean-counters at Netflix gifted Carpenter her own Christmas special to cap off such a remarkable year (and attract her considerable viewing audience). But if you’re thinking you might finally get a glimpse of who she is behind the wink-wink persona, think again. The most ctrl-f’d word on any Sabrina-related Reddit thread is “unserious” and it’s in this mode that this Christmas special continues.

It’s mere seconds before the “entendres are doubling” and Sabrina’s asking you to “strap on” for the “ho-ho-hoiest special of the year”. There are so many puns about “big sacks” and getting her “stocking filled” and having “trimmed my tree just for you” that Eartha Kitt’s eyes are probably rolling in her grave. You could start a drinking game for sexy innuendo and get blotto before the Christmas ham’s served. Needless to say, this is not the sort of special to gather around the tree and watch with grandma and your little nieces and nephews, unless your grandma is on OnlyFans.

Appropriately for a music special, the musical numbers – largely lifted from Carpenter’s own Fruitcake EP – are the main attraction here. The show opens with Sabrina performing Buy Me Presents like she’s reduxing Madonna’s Material Girl and Marilyn’s Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend, but with a sapphic twist.

Chappell Roan and Sabrina Carpenter glamorously embrace the seasonal spirit.Credit: Parrish Lewis/Netflix

The guest cameos are strong: amapiano star Tyla (This Christmas) and Latin singer Kali Uchis (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus) drop by, as well as camp icon Shania Twain, hinting at the country-pop affinities hidden in Carpenter’s sleek pop. The highlight, though, is a duet on Wham!’s Last Christmas alongside Chappell Roan, who’s all sulking attitude; it’s a timely encapsulation of pop’s twin breakouts this year.

Mixed throughout are a bunch of SNL-style skits that are questionably successful, meandering setups featuring Megan Stalter, Kyle Mooney, Quinta Brunson and a wonderfully unhinged Cara Delevingne, as well as shameless product placement from the likes of Absolut Vodka, Kahlua and Betty Crocker that at least tap into the gross commerciality of the season.

It’s also directed with awkward slickness by live TV go-to Sam Wrench, who was recently tapped by Taylor Swift to shoot her Eras Tour documentary. Like that film, it’s all a bit too precise and over-rehearsed, especially compared to the loose edits that bookend each of the musical performances, giggly peeks behind the curtain of Carpenter’s manicured onstage persona.

Still, the options for your Christmas viewing aren’t slim and most of it is not at all fun. If you’re too cynical for holiday romcoms and gravy’s not your thing, you could do worse than spend a ridiculously bawdy Christmas with Sabrina. Plus, as she’s said before, Jesus was a Carpenter too.

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