Can Australia’s worst Housewives franchise redeem itself? History says yes

Over the 20-odd years it’s been on television, the Real Housewives global reality franchise has given us some incredible moments.

There was the time a SWAT team arrived looking to arrest Salt Lake City’s Jen Shah for fraud. On Beverly Hills, we enjoyed drama over an alleged threesome involving two cast members. In an iconic early episode from the same city, psychic Allison Dubois attended a dinner party where she stared down one woman and announced to the group, “I can tell you when she will die ... I love that about me!” while sucking on an electronic cigarette. As we’ve followed the lives of wealthy women throughout the US, we’ve seen storylines about imprisonment, embezzlement, abuse, addiction, infidelity and a classic Housewives staple: alleging someone’s husband might secretly be gay.

The Real Housewives of Sydney season threeCredit: Matchbox Pictures

But when The Real Housewives of Sydney (RHoS) returned to our screens in 2023, the best we got was an argument over a fur jacket. Three episodes in, two cast members began arguing over one’s choice of outerwear. One was a vet, aghast at her colleague wearing the hide of a dead animal. The other was a Double Bay fashionista, who didn’t see what the big deal was. It was a drama so utterly pedestrian that I and the rest of my Housewives group chat all switched off.

But this month, the show returned for another season – and I’ve been tuning in. Allow me to explain.

Firstly, it’s important to know that RHoS wasn’t always this way. The show premiered in 2017 with a cast that included some true gems: Lisa Oldfield, then-wife of former One Nation politician David Oldfield, and the sort of person who calls her castmate “Chewbacca” to her face; plus a fashionista called Athena X (not what’s on her birth certificate but as she said to the pained looks of her castmates, “No one ever questioned Malcom X on his name”). It was a crude, expletive-ridden, nearly physically violent spectacle in which the cast members regularly called each other a “slut”, a “f---ing bitch” and “just a really skinny chick with a bad nose job”. Which is to say, it was fantastic television.

But it wasn’t long for this world. When Bravo, the US reality network that created Housewives, deemed the show too rude for American audiences and declined to air it, RHoS was cancelled after one season.

Then, in 2023, Sydney was rebooted – minus all the parts that had made it good. Producers brought back only two of the original cast members from season one, including the most boring one (Nicole O’Neil), stacking the rest of the cast with largely uninspiring newbies. Gone was Oldfield and my beloved Athena X. Also missing was the explosive, feral energy that made season one so watchable. It was, plainly, a dud.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean Sydney is out for the count. Being a Housewives fan is like being a sports fan – there are good seasons and bad ones, and part of loving the game is gritting your teeth and pushing through the tough times. The true believers keep watching – or at least keep a close eye via social media and Housewives gossip networks – even when a show is in its flop era.

Which is why, somewhat begrudgingly, I came back to watch the first two episodes of season three. Happily, I was surprised to find the new season did show some early promise. That largely came in the form of Martine Chippendale, a new addition to the cast who claims her wealth is self-made because of the choices she’s made. Those choices include marrying an investment banker 19 years her senior (tick!). She also never goes out into the sun without holding a parasol, for fear of its ageing effects (tick, tick!). There were already fights under way between various cast members as the season dawned, and gossip rag reports of a major altercation while filming the finale.

Martine Chippendale (second from the right), pictured without her parasol.Credit: Matchbox Pictures

And what RHoS has in its favour is that Housewives is often a long game. We stick with the cast members for years – some over a decade – and are privy to the twists and turns their lives take.

The dynamics between the women change with time, too. In their first season together, castmates often don’t know each other well enough to have genuine drama. As the seasons progress their relationships morph, crafting real friends and bitter enemies. Those interpersonal dynamics are a delicate alchemy that can make good reality TV difficult to plan for. That’s why new instalments can take a while to find their feet. Today, The Real Housewives of Potomac is beloved – but fans will tell you to start at season three, to come in where it’s already firing.

And even great franchises can lose their way. Beverly Hills started out incredibly strong, went through a dull patch, picked back up for a couple of seasons and is now, as one former cast member recently described it, “a sinking ship”. New York enjoyed an incredible run for 10 seasons and then got so bad the city had to be rebooted with a whole new cast (which has been a resounding failure).

Spin-off show Vanderpump Rules was on the chopping block when news broke that Tom Sandoval had been cheating on long-term partner Ariana Madix with a fellow cast member, bringing the show back for one incredible final season. Titans tumble, slow burners gradually heat up – and even the greatest Housewives instalment (Salt Lake City) had one boring season.

Whether Sydney can turn the ship around remains to be seen. Someone could still get divorced, arrested, or reveal themselves to have been engaged in a years-long illicit affair. I’m cautiously optimistic – and secretly praying the SWAT team turns up.

The Real Housewives of Sydney drops new episodes every Tuesday on Binge.

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