Deni Hines: Why my marriage with Kirk Pengilly failed after 18 months

Musician Deni Hines is best known for her ’90s hits with the Rockmelons. Currently competing in Dancing with the Stars on Channel 7, the 51-year-old discusses her career, upbringing, and marriage.

I didn’t know my dad [Phillip Gibson]. The first time I spoke to him was at the age of three on the telephone. He told me he was coming to meet me on Christmas Day. I sat outside our home from sunrise to sunset and he never showed up.

Deni Hines: “Daniel has tremendous respect for women. His parents are still married and I lucked out because I dated a lot of f…wits in my time and I finally came good.”Credit: Marius Luppino

That was the only correspondence I had with him until I was 26. I lived with strong women like Mum [Marcia Hines] and my grandmother [Esme]. They raised me. Mum was 16 and pregnant with me when she moved to Sydney from the US.

I have a half-brother, Phil jnr, aged 28, who I’ve started talking to online over the last six years. We haven’t met in person. He is a boxer. I asked him how old he was when Dad walked out of his life. He was seven. Dad read him a story, put him to bed and when he woke, Dad was gone. There was a note saying, “I can’t do this, son.”

Mum’s first boyfriend in Australia was Jimmy Mann, a stage manager in Hair, the musical in which she was starring. He worked in theatre and took me to a lot of shows. One day, I accidentally swallowed one of the lead pellets he’d put in the stage curtains to hold them down. I thought I would die. Jimmy took me to the hospital and even went through my faecal matter and found it a few days later. I told this story at his wake; this man who wasn’t my father did that out of profound love and care for me.

My first boyfriend at high school was called Kyle. We kissed behind the tuckshop and he took me on a date to McDonald’s. He was so hot I fell in love with him. I was also impressed he could say the alphabet in a burp. I thought that was true love!

I had a celebrity crush on Michael J. Fox. I would write him letters. I was convinced I was going to marry him. I also had a shrine in my bedroom to Michael Jackson, and one April Fool’s Day my mother broke the news that he was married. It was a lie, but I pulled down every photo of him because I felt so upset about it.

Jon Stevens and I were in Jesus Christ Superstar together in the ’90s; he was Judas and I was Mary Magdalene. I haven’t seen him for many years but he’s a good guy! He also has what is known as death ass – sure, he might look great, but he has the deadliest farts and I’m not afraid to share it. He would terrorise me with them on stage!

I married INXS guitarist Kirk Pengilly when I was 21, in 1993. He was my first serious relationship. We met via Jon Stevens. Kirk was six years younger than my mother, the father figure I never had. His daughter, April, was my stepchild. I resented the relationship Kirk had with his daughter; I couldn’t understand how he was so involved when my father wasn’t. I had issues with that relationship because I was young and didn’t dig deep enough to understand why it bothered me. We were married for 18 months.

I moved to London after my marriage broke up and focused on making an album. I also married again. We were together for three years. He got violent. It’s the first time a man has ever got physical with me.

I met my husband, [businessman and musician] Daniel Moses at 42. I did a gig and saw him walk across the dance floor and wondered who he was. He came up to me after and quoted Dudley Moore and Peter Cook – two British comedians. I was like, “Oh my god, you’re so lucky, I know who you’re quoting” and I started quoting back.

Daniel has tremendous respect for women. His parents are still married and I lucked out because I dated a lot of f…wits in my time and I finally came good. Daniel keeps me calm and is incredibly intelligent. We live in Thailand.

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