The nine romcoms we can’t stop falling in love with

We’re all familiar with the tropes of romantic comedies: two characters who viscerally repulse each other, only to get hitched in a lavish wedding around the 90-minute mark; frantic dashes through airports to confess undying devotion; teenage boys blasting love songs through boomboxes outside a girl’s window (a sure-fire way to get slapped with a restraining order in real life). But not every such movie is a grab-bag of clichés.

In the lead-up to Valentine’s Day, we asked 10 well-known Australians to divulge their favourite romcoms. Some are classics, some might surprise you – and Love Actually remains as divisive as ever.

When Harry Met Sally (1989)

Celia Pacquola: actor, writer and comedian

I actively dislike most romcoms – although maybe I’m just a cold-hearted woman – except When Harry Met Sally. It bucked the trend of what romcoms are and it’s the only one where I actually wanted Sally (Meg Ryan) and Harry (Billy Crystal) to get together. I feel like Sally and Harry are matched well in terms of age and attractiveness; my bugbear is seeing these impossibly stunning women with slovenly, immature men. The writing and acting are so subtle and Nora Ephron’s dialogue made me laugh so much. My favourite scene is where Sally is crying, Harry makes her laugh, then she remembers she’s meant to be sad and starts crying again – which is something I can relate to! And I loved seeing Sally and Harry not just as a couple but also as friends.

Bernard Curry: actor and writer

A lot of the time when you say “romantic comedy” the comedy part gets overlooked, but for me, Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan are both hilarious. When Harry Met Sally allows you to get carried away with the sentimentality and romanticism without it tipping over into schmaltz. It’s so tightly written and beautifully executed. I probably watched it about 15 times in the 1990s. Back when I was dating I’d go to Blockbuster and rent it on VHS because it’s a great date-night movie. On the other hand, Love Actually is a film I loathed. I just remember rolling my eyes so many times. There’s a fine line with romcoms between sentimentality and over-sentimentality, which then becomes schmaltz, and then it becomes melodramatic and unbelievable. It tripped over a line I felt shouldn’t be crossed in romcoms. Rent on Apple TV, Amazon, Google Play and YouTube

Deadpool (2016)

Jordan Raskopoulos: actor, writer, musician and comedian

Deadpool was released around Valentine’s Day and it’s a marvellous story about a couple who fall in love, one of them finds out he has cancer, and they have to come to terms with that during his treatment. It does away with the whole “meet-cute” scenario and just gets into the difficulties of being in a relationship and the allies they recruit to overcome the things that stand in the way of love. So many movies end just as the couple fall in love, but in fact, that’s when a relationship begins. Sometimes you think people won’t love you after they see your scars and the horrors you’ve endured but, in the end, love conquers all. I’ve seen it at least 60 times and, while Ryan Reynolds is known for his romantic comedies, you don’t see much of his face – yet he’s so emotive behind his mask, it’s a testament to his acting skills. Streaming on Disney+

You’ve Got Mail (1998)

Jessie Tu: author, journalist and poet

This came out pre-2000, during a very pregnant stage of the internet in terms of what it could provide. You’d sit at your computer and that was your network to the wider world. A lot of people feel romcoms are not feminist because there’s often a befuddled heroine who doesn’t know how attractive she is and has a great career but is romantically unsuccessful. But Meg Ryan’s character, Kathleen Kelly, is in a loving relationship with a successful partner and there’s no bitterness when they break up, which is beautiful. That would be rare in real life, but the best romcoms are often far from reality. It showed me that literature doesn’t have to be all dreary. I don’t think I’ve seen another film that captures the magic of books like this one does. Rent on Apple TV, Amazon, Google Play and YouTube

Coming to America (1988)

Dane Simpson: comedian, writer, producer and actor

Being an Aboriginal man growing up in Australia, I didn’t see much representation of what we would call “Blackfullas” on TV or in movies. I don’t think I’d even seen a Black American movie so to me, it felt like representation. It stars Eddie Murphy playing an African prince who comes to America and pretends to be a poor student to find a woman who’ll love him for himself. The black characters weren’t incidental, they were the stars of the movie. It was such a fun, character-driven film, and so many scenes reminded me of interactions I’d have in my community. Even the scenes in the barber shops – we’ve got a lot of barbers in Australia who are Polynesian boys, and they cut our hair and laugh and tell stupid stories and we have such a great time. It really felt that I knew these characters, and I’d lived a similar life in a lot of ways. Streaming on Amazon Prime, Binge, Netflix

Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

Antoinette Lattouf: broadcaster, columnist and author

When you adore a book it’s hard for the film to live up to expectations, but I loved watching this over-the-top romcom about a poor girl who finds her Prince Charming. I spent a lot of time in Asia because my now-husband lived in Singapore, so the outlandish wealth Kevin Kwan describes in his books is something I’ve been exposed to. One thing I was able to relate to was the meddling of Eastern cultures when it comes to young love and romances. I think, in a modern Western context, it’s not as readily accepted that parents play such a role but in a lot of Eastern cultures that still plays quite a big part in the success or failure of relationships. It’s a bit cliched in that it plays into the rich-boy-meets-poor-girl fairytale but to its credit, it’s an all-Asian cast and it exposed us to stars like Awkwafina, who’s gone on to amazing things in Hollywood. Streaming on Binge, Netflix, Paramount+

Notting Hill (1999)

Michael Rowland: ABC News Breakfast co-anchor

I was single when I first saw Notting Hill in the late 1990s and one of the reasons I liked it is because I projected myself into a fantasy where I was William Thacker (Hugh Grant), wishing I owned a bookstore and hoping that someone Hollywood-esque like Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) would walk in and we’d go from there. As a journalist, I’ve been in so many hotel corridors for publicity jaunts – just like that scene in the movie – and I always have nightmares about sleeping in without getting to do my research and all of a sudden I’m asking stupid questions of stars about horses and submarines. It’s obviously a fantastical plot, but that’s part of the charm of the romcom genre. Love Actually is another one that’s on high rotation. I love that it has a few different subplots and I especially like Colin Firth (Jamie) as the frustrated writer who moves to France, falls in love with his housekeeper and hilarity ensues.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)

John Aiken: Married at First Sight relationship expert

I love it because, essentially, you’re seeing all these behaviours play out, in dating and relationships, that you don’t want to do yourself. Much like MAFS, you learn what not to do – single people see these red flags they need to watch out for, while couples might say, “We need to do things differently here.” Kate Hudson as Andie Anderson and Matthew McConaughey as Benjamin Barry had good chemistry, and at times you see a glimmer that maybe it’ll work out but then at other times it makes you cringe. And when you’re cringing it’s like seeing a train wreck coming at you; you’re desperately hoping someone will read the room and adjust their behaviour, but ultimately they don’t, and it ends up hurting them and others. It also makes us reflect on how we might be a bit clingy in our own relationships, and hopefully prompts people to reflect on how they need to navigate togetherness and separateness. The other film I love is Love Actually because it shows all different types of love: the good, the bad and the ugly. Streaming on Binge, Netflix and Stan*

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

Jordan Barr: Popgays podcast co-host and comedian

This was the beginning of my romcom and Heath Ledger obsession, and now, with 2023 hindsight, I’m convinced that Heath Ledger’s and Julia Stiles’ characters (Patrick and Kat) seem like a lesbian couple to me! Patrick is a cool but pretty butch boy and Kat is an angry lesbian feminist, and that’s why I love it. I first rented it from Video Ezy – we paid for it as a new release, which was a huge deal – and I watched it with my family and it was incredibly awkward, especially in those scenes with the principal where they talk about dicks. Some romcoms try too hard to be different and end up failing, whereas this film is like a bowling alley with the barriers up – except they do such an amazing job with the writing and acting, and the ensemble cast and subplots are magnificent, that it all comes together beautifully. And I felt instantly smarter when I found out it was based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. Streaming on Disney+

Yesterday (2019)

Nazeem Hussain: comedian, actor and broadcaster

There’s an incident that happens in the film where suddenly, no one knows who the Beatles are; it’s like they never existed. But there’s this one guy, who’s in his 30s and plays guitar, who is exempt from the incident. He starts playing all these Beatles songs and becomes hugely successful and famous. The lead actor (Himesh Patel playing Jack Malik) is a brown guy, too – basically, a good-looking version of me. Of course, it challenges his relationship because he starts to believe his own lie and he’s getting away with it. He’s not being authentic and that leaves him wondering what will happen if he reveals the truth to the love of his life and the whole world. It’s more of a Bollywood romcom than a typical Hollywood romcom. It also helps you understand the rise of the Beatles and what impact they might have if they became popular today. Streaming on Binge

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