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Anything but Love Actually: The alternative guide to Christmas movies

By Nell Geraets

Ho ho holy moly, you have plenty of Christmas movies to stream this silly season.

Ho ho holy moly, you have plenty of Christmas movies to stream this silly season.Credit: Compiled by Aresna Villanueva.

If you think you don’t like Christmas movies, you probably haven’t pushed beyond Miracle on 34th Street. Truth is, the Christmas movie isn’t a genre so much as a freewheeling grab-bag linked only by a date. And with horror, action, comedy, romance and goodwill all part of the mix, there’s truly something for everyone – maybe even you, Scrooge.

That Christmas

Netflix

Love Actually didn’t make the list this year (purely because it’s already a fixture of Christmas movie nights), but another production by its director, Richard Curtis, has.

That Christmas, an animation starring Succession’s Brian Cox, is Netflix’s newest family festive offering. Based on Curtis’ own trilogy of children’s books, the film offers a collection of stories about a seaside town sent into crisis mode after being hit by a blizzard.

In typical Curtis fashion, it involves people falling hopelessly in love and other high jinks of the heart, but it ultimately explores the joy and complexity of Christmas … as well as a truck-tonne of turkeys.

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The Holiday

Amazon Prime, Stan*, Binge

Nancy Meyers was already the queen of rom-coms, but then she went ahead and made one of the best Christmas films ever. In this 2006 movie, two lovelorn ladies, one in a US mansion and the other in a quaint English cottage, decide to swap houses for Christmas.

Despite wanting to escape men and all their drama, they both end up head over heels (if you pay attention, there’s also some self-growth in there).

If its A-list cast, including Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law and Jack Black, isn’t enough to sell you, then its extreme Christmas cosy-factor should.

And the scene in which Law puts a napkin over his face and pretends to be “Mr Napkin Head” for his two kids will melt the heart of even the nastiest Scrooge.

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There’s Something in the Barn

Binge

If schmaltz isn’t your thing, Magnus Martens’ English-Norwegian horror comedy will do just the trick. An American man moves his family to a small Norwegian town after inheriting a family estate. They soon discover the barn is the home of a mischievous elf – a creature intent on getting rid of the family for good. There’s bloodied tinsel, killer icicles and gun-toting elf gangs. It’s a triumph of festive cinema.

Christmas with the Kranks

Binge

If this movie teaches you anything, it’s to never mess with Christmas. The Kranks, played by Jamie Lee Curtis and Tim Allen, decide to skip Christmas so that they can go on a tropical cruise. However, this makes the Christmas-obsessed townsfolk deeply unhappy, and when their daughter surprises them with a visit, they have no choice but to desperately try to bring Christmas back.

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Allen and Curtis are a dynamic duo in this 2004 hit. You’ll want to rewatch Allen trying to eat after botox treatment a million times over.

The Muppet Christmas Carol

Disney+

There are too many adaptations of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol to count, but The Muppets’ version is surely the best.

Directed by Brian Henson in 1992, The Muppet Christmas Carol is the perfect entryway to the Dickens classic, weaving in popular characters such as Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo and Bean Bunny, while also remaining true to the original Scrooge story. The songs are so good they were nominated for best musical children’s album at the 1993 Grammys.

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Hot Frosty

Netflix

This film is a bit of a wildcard, but what’s Christmas without at least one Hallmark-adjacent rom-com? Netflix has mastered the ludicrous Christmas original (remember The Princess Switch trilogy?), and Hot Frosty, starring Dustin Milligan (Schitt’s Creek) and Lacey Chabert (Mean Girls), promises a genuinely good time. A chiselled snowman turns into a very attractive real man via a magical scarf. He helps a widow process her grief and learn to love again. It’s beyond cheesy, and neither scientifically nor anatomically accurate, but it’s so cheerful and uplifting.

The Polar Express

Netflix, Binge

Robert Zemeckis’ 2004 animation will make anyone believe in magic. When a boy becomes sceptical about Santa’s existence, a train arrives outside his house on Christmas Eve, inviting him to the North Pole.

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Some may find the animation creepy, but the story is heartwarming, and Tom Hanks is brilliant as the intense train conductor. You’ll also find yourself humming Hanks’ Hot Chocolate song until the New Year.

It’s a Wonderful Life

Stan*, Plex

This 1946 classic, directed by Frank Capra and starring James Stewart, is a guaranteed tear-jerker. It follows a man who considers ending his life on Christmas Day, but is distracted by an angel who proceeds to show him what the world would have been like without him in it.

Nothing will make you appreciate family, love, and well … life, more than this film.

* Stan is owned by Nine, which also owns this masthead.

Find out the next TV, streaming series and movies to add to your must-sees. Get The Watchlist delivered every Thursday.

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Original URL: https://www.smh.com.au/culture/movies/anything-but-love-actually-the-alternative-guide-to-christmas-movies-20241204-p5kvpv.html