‘What if I’m just free?’ Jennifer Lopez speaks publicly for first time after Affleck split

Jennifer Lopez says she is not looking for another partner and finally understands the importance of cultivating a relationship with herself – and finding joy in the freedom.

Speaking with US comedian Nikki Glaser in Interview magazine, the 55-year-old actor and performer talked publicly for the first time since filing for divorce from actor Ben Affleck, 52, in August.

Jennifer Lopez has made her first comments on her divorce with Ben Affleck in Interview magazine’s fall 2024 issue.

The pair had previously dated – and become engaged – between 2002 and 2004. Lopez has also previously been married to musician Marc Anthony, dancer Cris Judd and actor Ojani Noa.

Lopez said the pain of her latest marriage breakdown almost destroyed her.

“But now, on the other side of it, I think to myself, “f---, that is exactly what I needed. Thank you, God. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry that you had to do this to me so many times. I should have learned it two or three times ago. I get it. You had to hit me really hard over the head with a f---ing sledgehammer,” she said.

“I finally got it! And by the way, that doesn’t mean I have everything figured out. Now I’m excited, when you say you’re just going to be on your own. Yes, I’m not looking for anybody.”

“Everything that I’ve done over the past 25, 30 years, being in these different challenging situations, what can I f---ing do when it’s just me flying on my own,” she said, “what if I’m just free?”

Lopez also spoke about her struggles with self-esteem, which she first chronicled in her 2014 memoir True Love.

“My whole life has been proving my enoughness,” she said. “Dealing with feeling like you’re enough, from when you’re very young, is something that you don’t figure out for a long time.”

“Something is driving you and your decisions and you don’t know why.”

A wedding photo of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck posted on Lopez’s Instagram account in 2023.Credit: Instagram

Lopez said she thought this was the consequence of being the middle child of hard-working parents.

“I love my parents, but I do see the effect of who they were and how they were raised, on me. You don’t even really know until those things start manifesting in your actual adult relationships,” she said.

“Oh, I’m comfortable with this person ignoring me. I’m comfortable with this person treating me this way or that way.”

In June, Lopez cancelled the US leg of her This is Me tour, which had reportedly seen low ticket sales. She praised her fans as “the most understanding and loving...in the world”, but said she needed time off “to be healthy”.

In happier times: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez at the Golden Globe Awards in January this year.Credit: Getty Images

“You have to be complete … You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, ‘I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that’.”

Lopez is currently promoting her new film Unstoppable, about Anthony Robles, a wrestler born with one leg.

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