The one question David Wenham’s mum asked whenever he landed a role

David Wenham is an actor best known for his role in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The 56-year-old talks about growing up surrounded by women, working with Toni Colette, and his long-term relationship has evolved over time.

My mother, Kathleen, was an extraordinary woman who didn’t really get the opportunities she deserved. She was born during World War I, was bright and could have gone to university but that wasn’t her lot in life back then.

David Wenham grew up surrounded by women.

Mum took herself to night courses to learn about female writers and studied ancient Greek. She also mastered the Greek language. We grew up in Marrickville, Sydney, where Greek was widely spoken. I remember being in the butcher one day when he started to swear in Greek. My mother spoke back to him in Greek and he dropped the sausages on the sawdust floor.

I am the youngest of seven children; I have a brother who is 18 years older and six sisters. I grew up surrounded by women. I had a happy childhood and a big contributing factor was thanks to my caring, loving mum and sisters.

My dad [Bill] met Mum while going to dancing lessons with his best friend. My parents were both staunch Catholics who spent a lot of time at church. Dad was a St Vincent de Paul Society volunteer for half a century. He was fostered and St Vinnies changed his life, which no doubt impacted the way he lived out the rest of his life.

“I had a happy childhood and a big contributing factor was thanks to my caring, loving mum and sisters.”

A statue of Mary would come to our house from the parish once a year and it was a big deal in our family. Mary would sit on the television and the priest would come around three days a week and say the rosary. My parents loved having Mary in the house. Looking back now, it seems rather odd.

My sister Maree is five years older than me. We didn’t get along as kids. I used to torment her dreadfully and I can’t understand why. She hated snails and of course I would chase her around the backyard with snails in tow. My eldest sister Kathryn is 15 years older than me and the one I was closest to growing up. She’d take me to the beach, and my first cinema experiences, watching Disney films, were with her.

I have been fortunate to work with some extraordinary actresses during my career, like Miranda Otto, Cate Blanchett, Nicole Kidman, Elisabeth Moss and Frances O’Connor. Every time I rang my parents to tell them about a new role I’d got, regardless of who I was working with, Mum would say, “That’s good, love. And did they feed you?”

Toni Collette and I have a great professional relationship. She is a supreme talent, extremely open and generous. In 1998, we filmed The Boys. My character Brett was pretty hideous and Toni sometimes had to walk off set as it was all too much for her. She couldn’t handle looking into my eyes.

It was great to be back on set with Baz Lurhmann and his wife Catherine Martin for the upcoming Elvis movie. They are inseparable; there is no Baz without Cath. The look and feel of their films all comes down to her. She is one of the most talented people in the biz.

I’d had a handful of serious relationships before I met my partner, Kate Agnew, in 1994. We met in the foyer of Belvoir St Theatre in Sydney, where we’d gone to see an Anna Broinowski play. We knew from those first moments there was a connection.

“Nobody’s perfect, but when you acknowledge the imperfections and work with them, you can go on a pretty amazing journey.”

Kate’s career as a ballet dancer came to a premature end when she fell down a staircase in Monte Carlo while she was at the Princess Grace Academy. We have two daughters – Eliza, 18, who is a full-time ballet dancer, and our youngest Millie, who’s 13.

Like any long-term relationship, ours has evolved over time. Kate and I aren’t married but we’ve been together for 28 years. Nobody’s perfect, but when you acknowledge the imperfections and work with them, you can go on a pretty amazing journey.

David Wenham was a special guest of Peroni during the Formula 1 Grand Prix in Melbourne.

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