An MP, a private eye, and the federal police walk into a strip club

It would be pretty clear to most grown-ups what used to go on at the now defunct “adult” bar Ponytails on the outskirts of Manila.

So why would the Financial Times, private investigators working for the son of a former PM and our very own Australian Federal Police feel the need to go poking around in the venue’s affairs?

It’s quite the yarn. Back in 2019, this masthead reported former Dawson MP George Christensen had been a regular at the bar in a satellite city of the Philippines capital.

Christensen’s frequent trips to the country had been investigated by the AFP, who found no evidence of illegality, but raised concerns he could be open to compromise.

The infamous Ponytails Bar.Credit: Nine News

But as revealed in a new book by FT journalist Dan McCrum, documenting the spectacular collapse of dodgy German payment processor Wirecard, the Christensen story got the attention of hedge fund manager John Hempton and his buddy Alex Turnbull, the son of former prime minister Malcolm Turnbull.

The duo had been on a crusade against Wirecard for some time. Hempton harboured a decade-long hunch that Wirecard was up to its eyeballs in some seriously bad stuff – widespread fraud, money-laundering for pornographers, Russian state actors and mercenaries.

The original source for McCrum’s reporting on the Watergate of European finance, Hempton, along with Turnbull, had done plenty of unorthodox investigating of the company.

And so, once the Christensen stories broke, and with the duo convinced Wirecard was using shady cut-out payment services in the Philippines, Turnbull sent a private investigator to buy a beer at Ponytails. The trip proved the bar had been using the same Wirecard cut-out service.

In the end, McCrum and Hempton, who’d been shorting Wirecard for over a decade, were right about the company, despite legal threats, espionage, and attacks from German regulators.

But any gains made through Wirecard’s self-combustion didn’t offset what Hempton lost shorting the company when the rest of the world looked the other way and helped pump up its share price.

“Wirecard is our bête noire stock ... a loser on which we were eventually right,” he told investors.

Will commercial twist Tony’s strong arm?

Success always has a downside, as the ABC is discovering after rising star Tony Armstrong’s Logies win.

The News Breakfast sports presenter is the talk of many towns after his triumph in the most popular newcomer category on the Gold Coast on Sunday night, and some of the talk turned to potential poaching attempts by Aunty’s commercial rivals, with online speculation that offers had already been made.

In demand: Tony Armstrong.Credit: Matt Golding

CBD has been told by ABC sources not authorised to speak publicly that News Breakfast bosses are concerned about hanging onto Armstrong but believe they could convince the former footy player a commercial outfit would cramp the easy-going style that has made him such a hit with audiences.

The man himself told us on Tuesday there was no move on the cards.

“That was actually news to me, when I read about it,” Armstrong said.

“I’ve got a good relationship with Channel 10, I go on The Project a bit and I’ve got a good relationship with Fox Footy as well. But there’s been no ‘come over here full-time’ or anything like that.”

Judith Neilson spends big

All is not well among the generous media benefactors at the Judith Neilson Institute, with reports in this masthead of four directors resigning, and widespread anger at the top.

But JNI is a cushy gig for those willing to navigate the turbulence.

Filings with the Australian Charities and Not-For-Profits Commission show in the 2021 reporting period, its biggest expense was on employees – at $2.6 million it outweighs the $2.1 million spent on those generous grants and donations to journalists.

JNI has just 12 full-time equivalent staff, meaning employees are paid on average nearly $220,000 a year. Imagine wanting to leave?

Curtis fails upward

This week marks five years since investment banker Oliver Curtis was spirited away from Cooma Correctional Centre in a private jet after serving 12 months for insider trading.

That means Curtis’ five-year automatic disqualification from managing a company expires today, giving him the all-clear to return to the top of the business world.

Despite the ban, Curtis has been keeping busy since his prison stint, with a little help from family. A joint communications venture with his wife, PR maven Roxy Jacenko, may have wound up – but Curtis still has his dad, financier and mining honcho Nick Curtis, to fall back on.

Of course, the duo have turned to crypto.

Within months of his release from jail in 2017, the Riverview old boy took a management position at E-nome, a blockchain-based personal health record system founded by Curtis senior through funds raised via bitcoin. CBD hears ASIC considered whether Curtis breached the disqualification order, but decided not to pursue it.

Late last year, Curtis emerged as chief operating officer of Tasmanian-based bitcoin miner Firmus Grid, chaired by his dad. At the time, Firmus had its sights on an ASX float this year. No sign of that halfway through 2022, and with crypto prices plummeting, we wonder if it’ll get many takers.

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