By Kishor Napier-Raman and Noel Towell
Few clubs in Australia are quite as exclusive or shrouded in mystique as Qantas’ invite-only Chairman’s Lounge.
While the airline cultivates this by keeping schtum about who gets in, the lounge tends to be populated by federal MPs, corporate heavies and celebrities.
Losing access is therefore such a stinging symbol of one’s decline in status that even those with strong opinions about the embattled carrier and its unpopular departing boss Alan Joyce aren’t keen to leave.
Alan Joyce and Alan Jones.Credit: John Shakespeare
This week, Alan Jones was informed via email that he’d lost lounge access following one of the airline’s reviews, a brutal reflection of the radio veteran’s fall from king of Sydney’s airwaves to an old man yelling at a webcam for his online-only ADH TV.
“When a member ceases to remain in a role for which Chairman’s Lounge membership was provided or a current commercial arrangement with Qantas is not in place, membership is reassessed against our criteria,” it said.
Qantas declined to comment on the criteria, but given Jones has been a member since 1985, and retained his access through the whole Cronulla Riots situation, we reckon it’s fascinating to turf him out simply for getting older and less relevant.
Clearly, Jones’ bark still worries Qantas because on Thursday, right after CBD started making enquiries, Joyce personally called the other Alan to explain that it was all a sorry mistake, and his access had been reinstated.
That can’t have been a comfortable call for the Qantas boss. We hear the shock-jock has been giving Qantas a wide berth since Joyce took the reins in 2008. And if Jones’ recent description of the Irishman as “your typical woke corporate puritan” is anything to go by, those feelings haven’t gotten any softer.
NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
Budget week can be a demoralising time for oppositions. Demoralising enough that permanently embattled LNP MP Stuart Robert, who is technically still shadow assistant treasurer despite announcing he’d be quitting parliament, didn’t even bother showing up in Canberra.
His office wouldn’t tell us why, but rather pointedly asked if we were aware of his impending retirement. We are.
By Thursday evening, the opposition finally got a bit of love, as Peter Dutton stood up to deliver his budget reply speech. After that, it was time for the Liberals’ own fundraiser, held at Canberra’s National Museum. A truly perfect choice of venue for a party that looks, right now, like a bit of a historical artifact.
At $1500 a head, it was a substantially cheaper affair than Labor’s flagship do on Tuesday night. Then again, access to the opposition is worth a whole lot less.
PAYNELESS LIFE
Howard-era Liberal MP Jackie Kelly once lamented that federal parliamentarians led a “bugger of life”.
But, perusing the latest submission to the parliament’s register of members’ interests from another Liberal woman, former foreign minister Marise Payne, it doesn’t seem so bad after all.
Payne, a racing tragic who owns thoroughbreds with her partner, former NSW Liberal deputy leader and minister for sport Stuart Ayres, has been off to the races about 15 times in the past three-and-half years as a guest of TabCorp, Racing NSW, the Australian Turf Club, taking in the Melbourne Cup, Everest and other big days at the track.
She’s also been at the footy. A lot. Payne has been to two NRL grand finals, one AFL decider and some finals series games as well as some home-and-away clashes for both codes as a guest of the NRL, the AFL and Venues NSW, an organisation to which Ayres is close. So close that he delivered a valedictory address at a recent farewell event for departing boss Tony Shepherd.
But what about the music? Well, there’s been a David Campbell concert and a ticket to see the Rocket Man himself, Elton John, again from Venues NSW. Destination NSW treated the senator to a seat at Mary Poppins the Musical.
But why are we telling you all this now? Because all those footy games and races Payne attended in the latter half of 2022 only lobbed into her register of interests this week. That’s well outside the 35 days required by the Senate for any new disclosures.
Such oversights are usually dismissed as “administrative errors”, but we still expected Australia’s longest-serving female senator to be more on top of the rules.
Payne, who’s been keeping a low profile since the last election, didn’t respond to our request for comment. Poor woman must be exhausted.
MAKING NAY
We brought word last month that those funsters at the conservative echo chamber the Samuel Griffith Society were getting together in Brisbane next week for a “special symposium” about the proposed first nations Voice to parliament.
Spoiler alert; it’ll be a hard no from the line-up of speakers including Tony Abbott, Ian Callinan, Peter Gibbs, Gary Johns, Warren Mundine and Amanda Stoker.
But it won’t be all work at the nay-fest, – this is BrisVegas after all – with the society’s executive director Xavier Boffa announcing a dinner on Wednesday night at the city’s exclusive Brisbane Club for more on what Abbott, Johns and Mundine think about the Voice.
The price? A cool $1000. And they say talk is cheap.
The Morning Edition newsletter is our guide to the day’s most important and interesting stories, analysis and insights. Sign up here.