A US porn star and a former Australian PM walk into a TV studio

Former prime minister Malcolm Turnbull and wife Lucy were spotted entering an anonymous-looking building a stone’s throw from the White House in Washington, DC on US election night.

Why? Because Turnbull was appearing as a guest on UK TV network Channel 4 News’ live coverage.

It is fair to say it was light years away from the local TV news offerings.

US porn star Stormy Daniels and former Australian prime minister Malcolm Turnbull.Credit: AP; Alex Ellinghausen

In the studio, lawyer Michael Cohen, a former fixer for Donald Trump before their falling-out, had time for a selfie with adult entertainment star Stormy Daniels (Trump was convicted of covering up a hush money deal with her).

The coverage was “both serious and fun”, our man in the US told CBD.

Turnbull, who has his Defending Democracy podcast on the Listnr network, arrived “looking very presidential”, according to onlookers.

PM29 was on air with US senator Cory Booker, who got thoroughly Malcolmed and struggled to get a word in.

Turnbull told C4 the world cannot understand the support for Trump after the January 6 attacks on the Capitol.

“He has a Teflon quality which is extraordinary, and his ability to persuade the vast amount of Republicans that he, in fact, won the 2020 election must be the most audacious gaslighting ever,” Turnbull said.

The great man was certainly a contrast to former UK prime minister Boris Johnson, who had appeared earlier and couldn’t stop plugging his new book. At one stage, C4 host Krishnan Guru-Murthy informed viewers: “Boris Johnson has been fired for banging on about his book.”

Trumpheads

Most Australians aren’t exactly thrilled about the prospects of a potential second Donald Trump presidency. Some of the few that are gathered at Macquarie Street for a watch party (with Fox News coverage, naturally), organised by Libertarian Party MP John Ruddick.

Despite strong early results for Trump, the event was fairly low-energy, the room in Parliament House half empty. Guests included a smattering of Sky News types, including former Liberal MP Ross Cameron, and the party’s failed Warringah candidate and anti-trans crusader Katherine Deves. Also Matt Camenzuli, the businessman expelled from the Liberal Party for unsuccessfully suing Scott Morrison over preselection delays before the 2022 election. Former Liberal MP Craig Kelly and Labor to One Nation defector Tania Mihailuk also showed up.

Ruddick was in good spirits, calling the election for Trump well before results from any of the swing states were clear.

Boys in the zone

The whooping, mostly female crowd at the annual Crown Oaks Club Lunch got more than chicken or fish when Melbourne Cup-winning jockey Robbie Dolan joined singer and honorary Australian Ronan Keating on stage for a celebratory singalong.

On top of proving quite handy on top of a horse, Dolan, as some now know, has a great voice, and once made it to the top 24 of reality singing contest The Voice.

The Irishmen joined forces in front of a fascinator-clad crowd old enough to remember Boyzone to sing When You Say Nothing at All and the classic Brown Eyed Girl. Dolan was clutching the famous Cup whole time.

But when it came to the finale, Keating’s hit Life Is a Rollercoaster, Dolan couldn’t keep up his on-stage charm and admitted he didn’t know the words. But as the most popular guy in the room – by a photo finish over the ebullient Keating – Dolan was easily forgiven.

Dining out

In her infamous maiden speech to parliament in 1996, Pauline Hanson declared that Australia was in danger of being “swamped by Asians”.

Nearly two decades on, the One Nation leader was looking to hold a fundraiser at a Vietnamese restaurant. Specifically, Little Hanoi, in the Perth beachside suburb of Rockingham, where Hanson was to be the guest of honour at a $30-a-head dinner.

The menu included stir-fried beef noodles and roasted chicken rice, which is a bit different from the meat and three veg or whatever slop One Nation voters are used to. Although we’re sure they’ve specially requested non-spicy.

While Hanson’s culinary choices might have evolved a little from her fish and chip shop days, the One Nation leader’s propensity for nasty bile hasn’t dimmed, with the Federal Court last week ruling that she’d racially discriminated against Pakistan-born Greens Senator Mehreen Faruqi.

She’s appealing the decision, and asking friends to chip in $1 million to fund her latest legal battle. As for the fundraiser that might also be headed for an unhappy ending, with the restaurant telling CBD the event was off.

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