A colleague behaved awfully outside work. Should we report them?

My friend told me this story and when I said it sounded like something from a Work Therapy article, they told me I could pass it on, as long as we changed some things.

On a weekend, my friend was out with friends, some of them colleagues. They were on a main street. A car drove past and a man who seemed drunk yelled obscenities out the window. They all turned and several of them, including my friend, said they thought they recognised the man as someone they worked with.

One of the friends was adamant it was him, but others, including my friend, weren’t 100 per cent sure. Later, they approached their boss and explained what happened. The boss took it seriously but warned they had to be certain if they wanted to make a formal complaint. What should they do?

If you’re thinking about making a complaint about someone’s behaviour outside of work, there are some things to think carefully about.Credit: John Shakespeare

I’m glad the manager took this seriously, and I think their advice is sound. They are quite sensibly suggesting that the friends need a high standard of proof before making allegations. With that in mind, I think the people considering whether to take this further need to weigh up certain factors and possibilities.

The first thing I’m interested in about this incident is whether the person in the car was directing his invective at them specifically or was just drunkenly screaming out the window at anyone and everyone?

I’m not saying the latter is the sort of behaviour you should just shrug off, but I do think it’s an important distinction when we’re considering the identity of this person. From our email correspondence, I get the impression the answer to that question isn’t clear.

Understanding whether this is out of the blue or part of a pattern of behaviour may be helpful.

It sounds as if the abuse this person yelled was disgusting, but not specific to any of the people in the group. It also sounds like there were other people on the street at the time. Therefore, it’s plausible that this was just indiscriminate ranting. If it were more personal or specific, it would obviously be much easier to conclude that this was indeed the colleague in question.

I’m also interested in how well the people who thought they recognised the man from work know him. Do they work directly with him? Have they had concerns about his behaviour before? Have they ever suspected he might be a bit of a loose unit, to use a technical term? In short, is this completely out of character?

Of course, we should never use “the good bloke” defence to dismiss atrocious conduct, and it’s possible that this man just hides his abusive tendencies while at work. But as the friends determine whether they think this was him or know it for sure, understanding whether this is out of the blue or part of a pattern of behaviour may be helpful.

If the friendly co-workers come to the conclusion that this was, probably, their colleague, I think taking it further is a brave and important next step. But I would recommend they find out exactly what is involved in a formal complaint before going down that path.

Yes, a manager or HR team will want to know that this has happened, especially if the behaviour makes others feel uncomfortable or unsafe at work, if it points to a problem in the culprit’s life that they need help with, if it reflects poorly on the organisation or if this kind of behaviour is encroaching into the abusive person’s worklife.

But there are all sorts of ways it might be handled: everything from a discreet word with the person over coffee all the way through to dismissal.

As a side note, this latter option isn’t one an HR team would take lightly; the law isn’t black and white when it comes to employers disciplining employees for things they do outside work hours.

Professor Joellen Riley Munton from the Faculty of Law at University of Technology Sydney said that if this person were to be sacked and then made a claim of unfair dismissal, “the employer will bear the onus of showing that the conduct had some adverse effect on the business or the workplace”.

My advice would be for your friend and their co-workers to spend some time working out how sure they are and then return to the manager with their conclusion. After this, a formal complaint may end up being the best option, but it’s best to discuss it between themselves and trustworthy managers or HR team members before proceeding.

Send your questions through to Work Therapy by emailing [e-mail].

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